


Experiments, Ego, and Expectations

by CreativeSweets



Category: Naruto
Genre: Absolute Asshole Izuna, Accidental Cuddling, Accidental Marriage, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Gaping, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Angst, Animal Traits, Animalistic, Arranged Marriage, Bickering, Birthday Presents, Blind Senju Tobirama, Blind Uchiha Izuna, Bone Carving, Breathplay, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Courting Rituals, Cultural Differences, Dark, Dirty Talk, Embarrassment, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hate Fluff, High Fantasy, Inferiority Complex, Inspired by The Lord of the Rings, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Jealousy, Laughter During Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Macro/Micro, Madara has NO Chill, Marking, Mild Gore, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Outdoor Sex, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Premature Ejaculation, Senju Tobirama Needs a Hug, Senju Tobirama in a Dress, Senju Tobirama's Low Self-Esteem, Shapeshifter Senju Tobirama, Shapeshifting, Sickfic, Size Difference, Size Kink, Temporary Amnesia, Trolling, Uchiha Izuna Lives, Uchiha Madara's Koi Pond, Voyeurism, Warring States Period (Naruto), Youkai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-07-25 20:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 163
Words: 59,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeSweets/pseuds/CreativeSweets
Summary: A collection of IzuTobi mini fics, featuring the Absolute Asshole Izuna and the shy, awkward Tobirama.Ratings vary per chapter. Tags updated when applicable.





	1. Carving (Carving)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey'all~ 
> 
> Given how much I've fallen into this pit that is this pairing, I figured it was time to stop hording absolutely all of my writing and said _fuck it_. And here we are.
> 
> Feel free to give prompts; I'd love to see what I'm able to write up! And if I'm inspired, I may continue some of these (and I'll mark them), but otherwise most will be unrelated to each other.
> 
> Let's have a good time together~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame [Alasse_m](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alasse_m/) for this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much for painting a vivid picture in my head that didn't want to leave!

“Would you _stop squirming_ already?”

“I’m not _squirming_. You’re taking too long.”

Izuna gnashes his teeth together so hard he probably cracks a tooth or two.

“Fucking _Senju—_I swear I’ll shove this damn kunai in your heart; I’ve got such a lovely view of it right here!”

Izuna takes a deep breath before continuing his carving. He _would_ have his name on Tobirama or so help him he’ll kill the stupid pale bastard himself!

Red eyes bore into his face and Izuna would like to think he paints an intimidating figure, perched on top of Tobirama brandishing a kunai and sharingan whirling. Heh, take that, stupid Senju!

Tobirama created a seal, jutsu—whatever the fuck it is—to let Izuna open his chest and carve his name into his ribs and each stroke is a victory. For as much as Tobirama certainly seems against his being here, Izuna knows the truth, can see it in Tobira’s face, can feel it in the hardness rubbing against him.

That’s okay; Izuna’s hard too.

And once Izuna’s name is fully carved into those ribs that somehow have more color than Tobira’s actual _skin_—then they can take care of their little problems.

The door flies open and it takes every ounce of shinobi training Izuna has not to fling the kunai at—

“_Fucking Hashirama_.” Izuna growls and really, at this point, his teeth are well and truly fucked with how hard he grinds them together.

“I—but—what?—Tobi?—I can’t—”

Hashirama’s eyes roll to the back of his head, his hand even comes up to his forehead, and he lands hard. So much for the all mighty mokuton. If Izuna had known all he had to do to bring down the _God of Shinobi_ was to crack open his little brother’s chest while grinding on him then—well, he’d probably be dead if he attempted this before the whole _peace_ and _village_ thing.

He feels Tobira’s large inhale under his kunai before the most put-upon sigh comes out. Izuna pauses for a moment longer, just to make sure the floorboards aren’t going to maim him, before cheerfully going about ignoring the large lump of man by the door.

His Tobira is much more interesting and he’s got a task that he needs to complete.

Preferably before Aniki comes to look for said large lump of man.

Which, coincidentally, happens exactly two minutes after Hashirama faints.

Izuna looks at his Aniki with nothing short of wild, frenzy eyes. He even notices Tobira’s glare. Good.

Madara takes a moment to process the scene laid out in front of him. Then another moment.

“I don’t want to know.” He finally states and grips Hashirama around the ankle and starts dragging him out.

There’s a large _thud_ when Hashirama’s huge ass head hits the frame of the door and a grunt when Madara has to pull a little harder to get Hashirama unlodged. The terrible frowning visage permanently etched onto Madara comes into view again.

“There’s a meeting in half an hour that you need to be at, Tobirama.”

And then Madara clicks the lock and slides the door shut as he leaves, mumbling about _what the fuck did I just see?_

“Half an hour’s not enough time.” Izuna whines.

“Then I suggest you carve faster.”

“I’d like to see _you_ try and carve into bone with a kunai.”

“I told you I had a better tool, but you—”

“Said it’s more symbolic with the stupid kunai, I know!” Izuna cuts Tobira off. “I can’t multitask! This is shit! Fucking Aniki, fucking Hashirma, fucking _meeting_.”

Izuna grinds down again and really, it’s a miracle they’re both still wearing pants. And suddenly there’s a cool hand on his pants, undoing laces and tugging and—

“_Yesss_.” Izuna hisses as Tobira touches him lightly. It’s not truly enough—it’s never enough with his Tobira—but then he frees his own cock and it’s hot, wet in a slick way from the clear fluid from Tobira and so, so good.

Izuna takes a moment to let the feeling wash over him. Because here he is, grinding into Tobira’s hand as it fists over them both, with Tobira’s chest flayed open and his name already half carved into the bones.

With renewed vigor—not at all caring about the time limit Aniki set, he’s just horny and wants to finish marking what’s _his_—Izuna finally drags and scrapes his kunai to complete his name in the white that covers Tobira’s heart.

He lets the kunai drop beside them and then he runs his finger gently over the lettering, admiring all the jagged edges and deep gouges in the bone. There’s a pause in the strokes, as Tobirama lifts a hand to find his own. And then _Tobirama _is tracing the lettering, too. And that’s. That’s so fucking hot that Izuna can’t be faulted for shuddering with his release, because that’s _his mark_, and only him and Tobira will ever see this mark.

(He’ll flay open anyone who dares to even _think _about seeing the mark.)

The dark, possessive want must show terribly on his face, because then Tobirama, with a small groan and a flex of his fingers, finishes.


	2. Nostalgia

“Remember when I almost ran you through with my sword?”

Izuna valiantly attempts to hold onto his composure as Tobirama whispers in his ear as he thrusts into him. He manages a weak whimper at a particularly brutal thrust. It’s dumb, because _of course_ he remembers and he _knows _that Tobira knows that so why—

“Remember Madara’s face when he thought I actually ran you through?”

Izuna bites down on his lip hard enough that he bleeds but he can’t, he won’t give in, it’s not fair how easily he falls to putty in Tobira’s hands—it’s not fair—

“I bet we could paint the spare room that color: that wonderful shade of violet your older brother turned.”

He can’t do it.

Izuna howls with laughter.

He laughs, and Tobirama is right there, thrusting into him and laughing along with him because Izuna had never seen Aniki turn that shade before and it was so damn fun to poke fun at him for it.

“Remember”—Izuna sucks in deep breaths to try and catch his breath—“Remember _Hashirama _and when he—”

Tobirama’s pained groan cuts him off. And then Tobirama snakes his cheater hand between them and Izuna allows himself to be distracted from stupid, overbearing older brothers for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama and Izuna probably love to troll their older brothers, and probably bonded over this fact. Also, clearly they love to see who can lose their composure first while having sex.  
(It's almost always Izuna who loses)


	3. I don't want to know (Carving)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, a continuation of the first chapter! From Madara's POV~

Madara really, really, _really_ hates being an older brother sometimes. He hates it almost more than being the Clan Head, since at least the Elders have to agree to disagree with him. But not Izuna. Never Izuna.

Fuck whatever he just saw, he’s never getting the image of Izuna with his grubby little paws on Tobirama’s _bare ribcage _out of his head—_ever_.

Fuck himself, for that matter, for putting that stupid idea in Izuna’s head that he could ask for this, that it wasn’t such an impossible thing for Izuna to want.

(Izuna had been miserable for days, and Madara had _had enough_.

“Izuna, really, what the fuck.” Madara grimaced because how else was he supposed to broach this topic that includes _feelings _without breaking into hives?

“Aniki!” Izuna wailed, and Madara really loathed to admit where he learned to be that loud. “It’s not fair that Hashirama got a tattoo!”

What.

“What.” He’s pretty sure he’d know if his best friend got a fucking tattoo but—

“He got Mito’s name stamped and it’s not fair because _some people_ can’t _do that_.”

It took Madara a pitifully long time to parse the _actual _reason why Izuna is upset.

“Why not just tattoo your name on Tobirama?” He asked bluntly, because how else would he get through to his dumb idiot of a little brother?

Izuna mumbled as he flushed something fierce and oh. It’s _on _now.

“Oho? What’s this? You’ll need to speak up, Izuna.” He let a large smirk play on his face as the red seeped further onto Izuna’s.

“I _said_”—Izuna huffed and puffed as he worked through whatever sort of embarrassment he’s going through—“not until I find a way to open his chest up and put my mark right next to his heart so it lasts forever.”

Madara . . . hadn’t actually known that Izuna had such a dark, possessive force behind the idiot and smiles front. Well, fuck, no wonder his past relationships were never serious. Not when he’s been harboring a hatecrush that flipped into a _whatever _with Senju Tobirama. He looked away, uncomfortable that he’s about to aid his little brother. But it’s his duty to help him.

“Well, I’m sure Tobirama could come up with something to, ah, make that possible?” Madara hated how his reluctance and skepticism shone through. Ugh, he could feel the hives starting.

“Holy shit”—Izuna paused so long Madara actually started to think that he broke—“Why didn’t I think of that!?”

And then Izuna was off like a shot, leaving Madara standing there, wondering just how big an idiot his little brother actually is.)

Two weeks; Madara got two weeks to forget that incident because helping run a damn village with _Hashirama _leading it is a full _fucking _time job. And so he’d forgotten all about how he just, gave Izuna the power to make this morbid fantasy real.

(And oh, how that burns, seeing Izuna drooling over that pale devil.)

But he went into the room anyways, even feeling Tobirama’s chakra with his little brother’s. The door’s open; normally that means it’s _safe _to enter the room.

Perhaps it was Hashirama, laying flat out on the ground in what looks like a most awkward position. Perhaps it was the fact that Izuna was perched atop that little pale Senju. Or maybe, shockingly, it was the fact that said pale Senju had his skin peeled back in a macabre display and his little brother had a damn kunai in hand.

So yeah, he does the most sensible thing there is to do, when faced with Izuna’s crazed look—sharingan whirling menacingly— and Tobirama’s icy glare: grab Hashirama and pretend like this is just something that happens.

Because between the Senju and his own clan, this practically _is _just something that happens. Fucking crazy, every last one of his clansmen—and the Senju. Well, maybe except for—no, no, everyone. No exceptions.

So yeah, he hauls ass, only remembering at the last moment to _oh so kindly_ remind Tobirama of the meeting and lock the damn door on his way out.

He may as well tell everyone to show up tomorrow; Hashirama is going to be damn near inconsolable and Madara doesn’t even want to _think _about what their little brothers are up to. _Fuck_.


	4. Lucky

Hands trail up Izuna’s chest and he moans into the scant space between him and Tobirama. With Tobirama on his lap, Izuna’s hands firmly on his hips, he can think of a few ways this night will turn out much, _much _better.

He’s pawing at Tobirama’s smooth, pale skin as soon as his shirt’s off, and his breath catches at how utterly delectable the Senju looks. Tobirama’s gaze is uncharacteristically avoidant, shy almost, and Izuna feels a surge of pride that he’s the one to make the great White Devil so meek atop him.

He pulls Tobirama closer, wanting—no, _needing_—to feel Tobirama submit to him, to give him everything he has—like he _always _has. He nearly growls when Tobirama breaks their heated kiss in order to lean closer to his ear. Izuna takes great pleasure in biting down on that pale, pale throat to leave his mark.

“I have something I need to tell you.”

And that’s another thing, damn Tobirama and his weird ass ability to hold a level tone while flushed and writhing. Because now it’s so hard for Izuna to even carry out a civil conversation with him without popping an awkward boner.

“And what, tell me, needs to be said _right now_?” Izuna hopes it’s not another idea he wants Izuna to remember for after they’re done. (Because Izuna had to ban paper and ink from the bedroom—Tobirama really needed to stop writing notes while they were making out.)

“All those flashy jutsu—I only invented them to fight _you_.”

Shit.

Izuna makes a strangled, half-sob noise and pulls Tobirama’s hips down just a little bit, just to get the friction to ride out his orgasm.

Because _fuck_.

Naturally Tobirama would just tell him that his genius only came about because of him. Why did Izuna think that when it finally, finally came down to having sex that it would be somewhat of a normal affair? What possessed Izuna to think that?

And then his bliss starts creeping into mortification, a flush that burns all the way to the tip of his ears and oh _fuck Tobirama just made him cum in his pants_—!!

Tobirama makes a questioning sound and pulls back but Izuna simply whimpers and ducks his head, futilely trying to claw the Senju back onto him to cover up. Maybe if he just doesn’t say anything—

“Oh, did you ejaculate already?”

Izuna is going to die. His brain is going to liquefy and fall out his ears because _what the fuck_. And, to make matters worse, Tobirama _speaks again_.

“Why are you embarrassed? I thought the point of sexual touching was to find release.”

The most terrible, awful part about it all is that he genuinely sounds confused. Another gurgle makes it’s way past Izuna’s throat because _fucking_ Senju Tobirama has no idea how sex is supposed to work!

Izuna catches Tobirama open his mouth again and Izuna is so, so desperate to make him stop talking that he does the first thing he can think of, which, naturally, is screech at high volume the most horrible thing he can think of with as much of the Uchiha bluster as he can salvage (which is quite a lot).

“YOU’RE LUCKY I LIKE YOU, _SENJU_, OTHERWISE YOU’D _NEVER _GET LAID!”

There’s silence following his loud, _loud_, declaration, and Izuna wonders, briefly, how far that actually traveled. He gets an answering screech that tells him it, at the very least, went to the other side of the house, where Madara is.

“GODDAMMIT IZUNA! WHAT THE FUCK! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GUYS ARE DOING SO _KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN, **THANK YOU VERY MUCH**._”

Izuna muffles his laughter into Tobirama’s shoulder. He’s never really reached the same screech level as Madara, but it always makes him laugh because he can simply picture the steam coming out his ears as it reaches ungodly pitches.

Maybe he should allow paper back in the bedroom—if only for the silencing seals Tobirama could put up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real reason the Uchiha compound is located so far away: the screech factor


	5. Competition (Competition)

“Well,” Izuna huffs, “_my _father _pat me on the head_ when I learned the Great Fireball jutsu.”

Tobirama squints at him. Ha, Izuna’d like to see the stupid Senju top that!

There’s a long, long pause, and Izuna starts to smirk because he’s finally, finally going to win this time! Ha! Beat that, Senju Butsuma! Uchiha Tajima was a better father!

But the feeling of victory quickly turned to dread as Izuna watches the pinched look melt from Tobirama’s face. No. No! There’s no way!

“My father—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!”

“—told me my sensory skills—”

“No!”

“—were an _asset_—”

“NO!”

“—to the clan.” Tobirama finishes with a sharp smile full of teeth.

“NOOOOOOO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this, laughing, and then stopped and went _oh_, and promptly went to put myself in time-out


	6. Complicated (Complicated)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought you could escape the angst? No one can escape the angst, prepare thyself! 
> 
> This was inspired by the prompt I gave [raendown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/) on their soulmate story collection.
> 
> The AU is: When you sleep, if your soulmate is awake you can see what they're doing
> 
> forgive me raendown, for I have angstified this idea

Izuna always thought that soulmate stories were the best. Two people sleeping and seeing glimpses of their destined other half and eventually finding each other through looking through their other half’s eyes. It’s romantic and appeals to every romantic bone in Izuna.

He was definitely not prepared for the reality of having a soulmate.

Izuna’s soulmate is boring. However, watching your soulmate do boring stuff sure beats sharingan-induced nightmares, so really, zoning out while deft hands write out really complicated notes and patterns is the lesser of two evils.

It’s rare for Izuna to catch glimpses of places he could try and place—annoys him enough because at least _he’s _trying to meet up with his soulmate, one would think that his soulmate didn’t want to meet him! The one time he _did _catch something it was just _trees_. But his soulmate was running through them so quickly that Izuna just knew that his soulmate must be a shinobi too. Good. Izuna didn’t want a weak soulmate.

It never really crossed Izuna’s mind that his soulmate might actually be avoiding him until he’s suffering from a nasty fever and Madara all but ties him down to his bed and extracts a promise from him while he goes to battle with the Senju. His fever wins over his anxiety and he winds up seeing the battlefield regardless. It’s terrifying in a visceral way as he watches _himself _tear apart his own _clansmen _with speed he could only hope to one day possess. It’s terrifying—then it all goes dark and he doesn’t quite know whether to be thankful or not. He wakes up with tears in his eyes and isn’t ashamed to cling to his aniki when he comes to check on him.

He can’t get his nightmare out of his head, and he doesn’t really want to think about whether it really _was _a nightmare or—or his soulmate. Izuna’s breath catches. It’s never something he’s truly given much thought to; who his soulmate is. It’s not like he went around spending time sleeping at weird times to try and look more into his soulmate’s life. Why would he, when his soulmate seems to always be up at night? (One would think that being up at night means they’d sleep through the day. Or did his soulmate really just not need sleep at all?)

(That would mess up his sleep cycles _so much_ it wouldn’t even be funny.)

He can’t bring himself to ask Madara who didn’t make it back to confirm his sinking suspicions.

This whole soulmate business just got a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more to come of this one~


	7. As Usual (Competition)

“Tobirama!”

Izuna bursts into the room where Hashirama, his aniki, and _just the very person_ he’s after is in.

“Izuna—?” At any other time, the fact that Izuna woke Hashirama up from where he was, apparently, napping on his desk would involve lots and lots of laughter. But there’s more pressing matters than the ink splotches covering Hashirama’s face.

“I’LL FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS THIS TIME!”

“FUCKING SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, IZUNA?”

“STAY OUT OF THIS, ANIKI!”

Tobirama very, very nonchalantly raises his fist and places it into his other palm. Too nonchalantly. Izuna’s eyes narrow and he mirrors his stance with a grim-set face, ignoring the questioning Hashirama and grumbling Madara in the background. He needs to focus.

_Doton, Katon, Suiton_ is very, very serious business and requires his full attention.

Especially since he’s never one a single match against Tobirama. Izuna prefers to throw _Katon_, and Tobirama _Suiton_, but Izuna doesn’t know whether it’s because he prefers _Katon _that Tobirama always throws _Suiton_, or whether Tobirama knows that Izuna knows and therefore always throws _Suiton _because he’s trying to psyche Izuna out but—

Izuna would **never **throw _Suiton _because that’s just not his Thing and Izuna thinks Tobirama knows, just like Izuna knows that Tobirama would never throw _Katon_, but maybe if Izuna throws _Doton _then that’ll give—no!

Tobirama definitely knows that Izuna knows that the moment he throws a _Doton _he’s lost even if he wins because _he_ was the one to have had to change it up—

They smack their palms three times and then form their signs.

Izuna’s—_Katon_.

Tobirama’s—_Suiton_.

“FUCK!”

“Always with the _Katon_, Izuna.”

Izuna lunges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because there totally would be a shinobi equivalent to Rock, Paper, Scissors, and of course Izuna would always lose :)  
Izuna and Tobirama also have been banned from spars with each other unless they're supervised and so this leads them to challenges that are hopefully not as destructive and expensive
> 
> OMAKE:  
Hashirama: what's this? a game? owo  
Madara: ffs  
Hashirama, with grabby hands: Madaaara~  
Madara, reaching for a broom: go away!


	8. Enough (Carving)

“Quit it.” Madara grumbles as he feels the betrayed, soulful puppy eyes of Hashirama land on him again.

He lasts two more signatures before he sighs and, with great reluctance, raises his head to meet those stupid brown eyes.

“Mads—”

“No, Hashirama, they’re grown ass adults”—for as much as Madara hates to admit that—“they can do whatever the fuck they want.” Even if that includes, apparently, carving their names into each others’ bones. He suppresses a shudder.

Hashirama’s gloom spreads and he lays his head down on his desk as he wails.

“Anija, have you signed—”

“Tobi!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Are you okay? Do you need me to heal you? I think I should heal you. Come here and let your Anija heal you—nooo! Tobi!”

Madara watches on in some twisted sense of satisfaction that is Hashirama trying to come around the desk to grab Tobirama while the man simply walks along the other side of the desk and snatches up the paperwork and by the time they’ve made a full circle Tobirama’s already walked out the door.

Slipping out while Hashirama has another crying fit is pathetically easy, and Madara really tries not to remember that this is the chosen leader of this stupid village. But that’s a battle for another day, for now, he’s following the _calm deep smooth_ chakra of Tobirama’s as it walks towards the _crisp wispy swirling_ chakra of Izuna’s. Madara doesn’t even try and conceal his presence and just hopes they spare him—

Madara turns the corner and grimaces, because he _really _doesn’t want to see his little brother trying to stick his whole tongue down Tobirama’s throat _thank you very much_. He catches Izuna’s eye as the deliberate show of affection finishes and entertains the idea of kicking his ass during their next spar, but, at the current moment, he’s not actually Madara’s target. So he lets his gaze blink towards his real target.

Izuna sighs loudly and pecks one last kiss to Tobirama’s lips before wandering off, mumbling, “ . . . can’t even get five minutes alone.”

And—no. Madara won’t even go there. Not if he wants to try and keep his temper in check for this next conversation. Dutifully ignoring the lingering looks Tobirama is giving his little brother, he waits until Izuna’s chakra toddles off to a respectable distance before even attempting to open his mouth.

“Hurt him and I’ll hurt you—_painfully_.” That’s . . . entirely the opposite of how he wanted to start this conversation.

“A bit late for a shovel talk, isn’t it?” Tobirama and his infuriating eyebrow taunt him.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” And really, truly, Madara doesn’t want to remember that scene, nor think that it might have happened again.

A sharp, almost barking laugh startles out of Tobirama and Madara pauses, taking the time to truly _look _at him. There’s a different air about him, one that seems to be linked to his little brother, apparently.

“He’s too good for you.” He snarls, because this is _Tobirama_! He’s tried to kill Izuna so many times and very nearly _succeeded_.

“I know.”

The softly spoken non-sequitur halts Madara’s building rage in its tracks. In its place, Madara scrutinizes Tobirama heavily. There doesn’t seem to be any micro-expressions that he can see that point towards dishonesty. It’s only when he meets Tobirama’s gaze that he realizes his sharingan is on, and he’s _meeting Tobirama’s gaze_.

He could do it. He could erase any thought of Izuna from Tobirama’s mind right now. Could make Tobirama hate Izuna, go stab himself like he tried to do to Izuna. He _should _do it.

But no. Tobirama just met his gaze for the first time, for _Izuna_. And in the face of either such stupidity or bravery he snarls a bitter curse under his breath and does nothing.

“I take it I’ve given you sufficient evidence of my loyalties.” Tobirama just states, like he doesn’t already know what Madara was thinking, just states like he didn’t fear getting his memories with Izuna stripped away from him.

“It’s enough.” Madara finally says, unwilling to think about his stupid, foolishly stupid, little brother and his poor choice for a partner any longer.

As he walks away, he senses a stir in Tobirama’s chakra, and once again reminds himself:

_It’s enough_.


	9. Reassurance

“Alright, what’s got you so upset?” Tobirama sets his brush down and looks at him.

“What makes you say I’m upset? I’m not upset! You’re upset!” Izuna blabs, irritated at being called out so quickly. Stupid Senju!

There’s a beat of silence as they stare at each other, and then Tobirama sighs.

“Even if your chakra _wasn’t _the equivalent of a pot about to boil over, there’s the fact that you’re here—in my office.”

Izuna pouts and tries to find the willpower to continue being all huffy. It’s hard when Tobirama uses _logic _on him. Because Izuna pretty much never seeks Tobirama out while he’s working unless he’s upset about something—and he sure is upset about something!

“You went out with that stupid Yamanaka earlier today.” Izuna spits out with extra venom. Tobirama is _his _and he knows—hopes—that Tobirama isn’t going to pull away from him.

It’s really stupid, but Izuna can’t help but compare himself to everyone Tobirama so much as looks at for longer than three seconds and he’s had plenty of time to come to terms that he’s nowhere close to Hashirama or Madara in terms of raw power. He’s not emasculated by them . . . most days. But that’s really because Hashirama is Tobirama’s brother, and he knows Madara hates Tobirama’s guts (and he’s really, truly confirmed from Tobirama that the feeling’s quite mutual—to his immense satisfaction).

But some stupid blonde who thinks they’re all that because they simply have a few party jutsu up their sleeves? Feh!

(Izuna knows that he can’t keep up with Tobirama’s mind, and it stings when they talk and Tobirama pauses to think of a “better way to put it” so Izuna can understand.)

But he knows what he saw: Tobirama, eating lunch with a Yamanaka and _talking with them_. And not just stupid small talk, but jutsu talk that had details that made Izuna’s head spin. If it weren’t for the fact that Aniki would be pretty damn disappointed in him if he murdered the Yamanaka representative, he would do it. He still might, consequences be damned.

(They don’t need those twitchy mindfuckers in their village. Especially when they’re hitting on taken men. Specifically _his _taken man.)

“Izuna,” Tobirama starts in that tone of voice that Izuna hates, the one that says he’s being unreasonable—which he is _not_—“I had lunch to discuss the benefits of having the Yamanaka clan join the village.”

“Benefits!”—That’s it! Izuna’s had enough!—“What benefits? The whole time she was talking with you! You don’t talk jutsu with just anyone and—”

Izuna cuts himself off when Tobirama’s amused expression comes out.

“Fuck off, stupid Senju! I can’t believe that you’d do that to me! No! Don’t come any closer, I don’t want your pity! I’ll bite you! Fucking—_fuck_!”

Izuna surrenders ungracefully to the smothering that Tobirama forces upon him. He does bit Tobirama, quite forcefully, but even sporting a new, bleeding bite, Tobirama still doesn’t yield his ridiculous hold on him.

“It was a business lunch,” Tobirama calmly states, “and having the Yamanaka here would mean that the Nara and Akimichi would join up too.”

“You still didn’t have to go all _jutsu theory_ on her.”

Tobirama huffs a quiet laugh and Izuna bristles.

“Enough, Izuna. I’m not laughing at you; no one else could even come close to replacing you, so stop worrying.”

He lets that sentence ring in his mind, lets it sink in and take root before responding.

“I’m not worrying”—it’s the principle of the thing, Izuna is definitely _not _worrying—“but there’s really no one else?”

Tobirama pulls back to shoot him a confused look.

“Who else would there be?”

“No one! No one!” Izuna chirps happily and nuzzles into Tobirama’s neck. His mood has completely flipped around now, maybe he can get some action for his troubles of coming all the way here to Tobirama’s office. He _does _have some nice fantasies that would probably be much better acted out.

Izuna can still feel Tobirama’s lingering confusion through his hesitant touches to Izuna’s back, but right now Izuna’s too happy to clear that up.

Tobirama is _his_!


	10. Waiting (Carving)

Tobirama isn’t surprised at all when he and Izuna start getting stared at more. After all, it _was _Hashirama who walked in on them. He’d be more surprised if all of Konoha _didn’t _know what went on by the end of the week. Idly he considers whether it’s too late or not to enter the betting pool that Mito must have going.

By the third day of a noticeable increase in staring, Tobirama starts to get annoyed. No one, not even Touka, has asked him one single question. Now, Tobirama concedes that he may not be the most . . . approachable of people, especially with Izuna at his side as he normally is, but still. Curiosity tends to be a very good motivator, and people _are _curious, otherwise they wouldn’t be staring.

He would answer any questions about the justu he used if only they would _ask him_. He’s growing ever more confused and tired at all the stares that go from Izuna, to him, to his chest, and then back to a preening Izuna. Even the shinobi don’t bother hiding their fascination.

Tobirama simply wishes they’d ask instead of just staring.

Perhaps they’re shy, and unaware of how Tobirama already prepared a list of answers to common questions he might encounter. (If anyone would actually ever bother to ask him.)

So he stares back, waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Tobirama, they're not saying anything because you're scary as fuck. _Especially_ with Izuna next to you. And staring at people isn't an acceptable way to make yourself appear approachable. They're curious, not suicidal. 
> 
> Tobirama has never _not_ let his curiosity get the better of him, so he's just like, "I don't get it."


	11. Testing Limits (Complicated)

Tobirama is first and foremost, a person of science. He enjoys the thrill of challenges and mysteries and figuring them out. Which is why he listened to stories of soulmate bonds and promptly was disgusted about how little empirical data there was.

(Did no one think to write down how long their nights were, how long their soulmates looked through their eyes? What about mirrors or reflective surfaces? Could their soulmates see independently or were they forced to look at exactly the same thing their soulmate was looking at?)

Nobody seems to care except for him and he never voiced his questions because he didn’t want it known he’d had his first soulmate dream. Primarily because Hashirama would most definitely give him The Look and he’d end up spilling his guts to him. One day he’ll be immune to those guilt-stricken eyes and fake tears but today is not that day.

So he lies by omission.

If he never is around when people are discussing their soulmate dreams, no questions about soulmates usually reach him. (Of course, no one really asks him questions on frivolous things like soulmates—not when he’s a shinobi and there are more important things to think about.)

Tobirama knew his soulmate was an Uchiha since his first daytime crash from a three day binge when he created his water dragon jutsu. He was devastated when he woke up and recalled the red eyes with black flecks in them from his soulmate’s clansmen. His following thought after the initial _can’t tell anyone else_, was simple: _I can’t hand the Uchiha any jutsu_.

So he tackles his—_bond_—like an enemy (it _is _an enemy) and creates a battle of attrition where he learns to code his notes, his experiments, to the point of being so unrecognizable that sometimes it takes him days to unwind it all if he steps away for any length of time. He also took the time to figure out when exactly his soulmate seems to sleep most. Because the next best thing than coding his notes is to make sure the coding isn’t necessary in the first place and sleep at the same time as his soulmate.

Unfortunately, it seems, his enemy enjoys sleeping during his most productive hours.

How annoying.

After determining that his enemy does _really_, in fact, sleep on a set, regular pattern that doesn’t seem to deviate (he makes a note that he really should find out why) he turns to more adventurous testing.

Like tonight, where he’s going to spend the next six hours and seventeen minutes talking about how the Naka river turns purple when someone throws a broom into it. (Figuring out why his enemy seems to fall asleep almost as soon as the sun sets and wakes with the sunrise is still on his to-do list.) But he has until sunrise to stare at the side of his workshop and say his piece.

He _needs _to know whether sounds pass through whatever bond he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Tobi, there are probably a million things better than searching the Naka for a broom that may or may not be there just because your soulmate is (more than likely) a gullible Uchiha
> 
> Granted, Izuna would probably do it in a fit of pique because I know I would if someone told me about the same thing for 6 hours


	12. Realization (Complicated)

Tobirama faces a dilemma each and every time the Senju battle against the Uchiha. He knows better than to hope that his soulmate _isn’t _a shinobi—and to hope that they’re good enough to evade his blade. He’s somewhat, begrudgingly, thankful that Izuna seems to be his equal on the battlefield and spare him the lingering doubts each time he goes for a killing strike.

(He really doesn’t _want _to care for his soulmate. But even he’s not immune to all the lovey-dovey stories that get shared around the compound. It’s illogical and makes absolutely no sense—but to think, to believe, that there’s a person who would understand him, even better than his own anija? Than Touka? His traitorous heart skips at the thought.)

So during the few hours of sleep he gets that doesn’t overlap with his soulmate’s, he watches. Because after the first battle with the Uchiha and his subsequent panic that he may have cut down his soulmate (and wouldn’t _that _be his luck) he supposes he should at least figure out who they are, so he can make sure they stay alive. Not that he could ever _be _with them, not with Father still as clan head. But the thought that they live is a pleasing one.

Tobirama learns that his soulmate starts his days with an almost meditative stretching. There’s only brief glances as they’re stretching, since apparently they like to keep their eyes mostly closed—but they do the stretches outside, in the very early morning light.

The first piece of identifying material he sees—asides from that they are Uchiha—is all he needs to identify his soulmate. In particular, he sees a familiar face that he never, ever wishes to see up close: Madara. And by the way his soulmate is so obviously clinging to him, it must be a close relative.

Dread pools and freezes in his chest, because that would mean—

Well, Tobirama thinks wryly, at least he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally killing his soulmate if he’s always the one battling him.


	13. Shared Burdens (Complicated)

Tobirama should have known the moment he realized Izuna wasn’t on the battlefield and sharpened his senses to feel him back in the Uchiha compound. He should have realized that only being on death’s door either injured or sick, would keep Izuna away. And that would mean he could be sleeping, could be watching. So when Tobirama felt the quiver and steel of terror in Izuna’s chakra, Tobirama felt stupid. Because his soulmate was watching him cut down _his own clansmen_. After the shocking realization, Tobirama had closed his eyes and pulsed his chakra out towards Hashirama, feigning injury in order to pull the battle to a close. 

That was all fine, and he used a jutsu to induce sleep in order to see, and what he did confirmed what he felt. The vision was blurry, with tears, as the fuzzy image of Madara fills it. Tobirama had scared his soulmate—no, had _terrified _him. And he feels shame, because he feels like he’s wronged his soulmate on such a deep level.

When he wakes from his customary post-battle power nap, he’s greeted by Hashirama’s worried face.

“Father’s been asking how you’re doing.”

“And what did you tell him?” Because Hashirama wouldn’t find any injury that needed healing, would know that he feigned an injury. Father would be incensed, and Tobirama doesn’t look forward to his punishment. (After all, with Izuna off the field, Tobirama was doing a very good job on cutting down the Uchiha.)

“I told him that you’d be fine by tomorrow.”

Tobirama looks away. Father would accept that; Hashirama will want answers. And sure enough, Hashirama speaks again.

“How long have you known?”

For as much as Hashirama acts and talks like an idiot, Tobirama knows he’s not stupid. Hashirama simply gets distracted easily and never responded well to any disciplinary actions. The best thing you could do with Hashirama is point in a direction and hope something over there catches his attention. But it looks like Tobirama didn’t distract him enough, since clearly he’s figured it out.

“A while,” Tobirama admits, barely above a whisper, “and today—”

His words get stuck in his throat as he remembers the feeling of terror in Izuna’s chakra, of the blurry vision and how he clung to Madara.

“—today he was terrified.”

Tobirama watches as a look of understanding forms on Hashirama’s face.

“Oh, Tobi.”

It speaks volumes that Tobirama doesn’t respond to that and simply allows himself to be swept up into a comforting hug. Hashirama’s petting his hair and humming (both nervous ticks of his that Tobirama usually responds by telling him that he’s _not a cat, Anija, go find one and stop bothering me_), but today Tobirama lets it happen.

“You can’t tell Father.” Tobirama pleads, only on this side of panic by Hashirama’s soothing.

“Of course, of course”—Hashirama pulls back and grips Tobirama’s face firmly between his palms—“Don’t worry about Father, Tobirama. Anija will take care of everything.”


	14. Decisions (Complicated)

News of Senju Butsuma’s death spread on the coattails of Uchiha Tajima’s death. Tobirama watches Hashirama and his innocent face hold up to the Elder’s scrutiny. For all that some of the Elders squint and frown, ultimately none of them say a word against Hashirama becoming Clan Head.

(Tobirama tries to remind himself that it’s a simple coincidence yet his ingrained shinobi training vehemently states _there’s no such thing as coincidence_.)

So Tobirama simply lets the issue go, for once in his life. Because some things are better off not knowing.

(He can’t deny that something warm spreads in his chest when he _does _think about what his Anija may or may not have done for him.)

No one is, in any way, surprised when the first thing Hashirama does as Clan Head is send a missive for peace to the Uchiha.

What surprises everyone, excluding Tobirama, is that he chooses _Tobirama _to deliver said missive.

Tobirama bears the stares and tries not to feel bad when the yelling starts and everyone questions Hashirama. It’s not Hashirama’s fault that Tobirama’s soulmate is an Uchiha. (Tobirama is upset, since he _knows _what his brother is trying to do.) But he’s not in the business to decline his Clan Head anything, more so his Anija, so he sets off at a moderate pace towards the Uchiha clan, alone.

He senses the flicker of surprise in Madara’s burning chakra when he passes into his sensory range. He’s within Uchiha lands and he’s evaded no less than three patrols on his way, which, if Tobirama really wanted to, he’s sure he could stop and persuade them to take the letter to Madara. But since he knows what Hashirama wanted him to do, he simply grits his teeth and continues on.

Confusion works its way through him and he actually slows down when it’s not a legion of Uchiha coming to him, but a lone, flicker of chakra that he knows intimately. He stops completely on the edge of a clearing, and waits.

Izuna leaps into the clearing a few minutes later and crosses his arms defiantly.

“Aniki says you’re out here, stupid Senju, so just come out.”

Tobirama sighs and, after checking over the other to make sure there’s no _immediate _threat of violence—Izuna’s chakra is roiling, but not gathering for attack—he enters the clearing himself with the scroll in hand.


	15. Acceptable (Complicated)

Tobirama holds the scroll in his hand up and watches as Izuna grimaces.

“Dammit, Aniki was right. I hate when he’s right.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, unless that’s _not _a letter for peace. Then I can rub it in his face.”

“It’s a letter for peace.” Tobirama is confused, because he’s never actually held a conversation with Izuna. They normally strike first ask questions never.

“Right.”

They stare at each other for a long moment before Izuna rolls his eyes and holds out a hand expectantly.

“Well, give it here. Unless you plan to just stand there and stare at me all day.”

“Why aren’t you trying to stab me?”

“Who says I’m not trying to stab you?”

Tobirama raises an eyebrow.

“Not—ack!” Izuna’s face turns bright red and Tobirama is so, so confused. “Not like _that_! Just give it here!”

Tobirama’s not exactly sure what _that _sort of stabbing Izuna is talking about is, but he stares for a moment longer before handing the scroll over. As he’s pulling his hand away Izuna grips his wrist and Tobirama is so, so tempted to show Izuna the only sort of stabbing he knows, courtesy of the senbon he’s got lining his sleeve, but allows the contact to continue.

“Maybe . . . ” Izuna trails off and little warning bells start ringing in Tobirama’s head. “Maybe if this village of our brothers gets built, we can, I don’t know, try?”

“Try?”

“Oh my god,” Izuna whines and grips his wrist a little tighter, “I didn’t even _try _and hide my stupid identity like you tried to—”

“What?”

“What, you think I’m stupid? What _other _Senju do you know that’s up at night creating complicated seals and jutsus?”

And—Izuna has a point. But Tobirama was prepared for the eventuality of being found out.

“I killed Uchiha.” He states bluntly, because he’s never truly forgiven himself for that day.

“I killed Senju.”

Izuna’s expression is set, and Tobirama knows that look. It’s the one that says Tobirama’s going to have to lay on his speed in order to dodge, but Tobirama’s not actually sure what that look means _outside _of battle. It puts Tobirama on edge.

“Our clans were at war, right?”

“Right.”

“And this scroll is probably the first of many, right?”

“Right.” Tobirama’s not sure he likes where this is going.

“So during the resulting peace talks to solidify the treaty, we should totally reveal we’re soulmates and request a marriage to really seal the deal, right?”

“Ri—” Tobirama cuts himself off from his automatic response and frowns at Izuna. He sees Izuna’s little satisfied smirk and wishes he could glare it off his face.

Unfortunately, his brain is going through the many, many permutations of what might happen and he can’t say that it _wouldn’t _be accepted by the Elders. It’s either accept that proposal or don’t and risk plunging them back into war along with banishing Tobirama (to keep the Uchiha from seeing anything) and Hashirama would never allow that. So instead he asks the question that’s burning in his brain.

“You would really accept a marriage between us?”

The once-over Izuna does, coupled with a growing smirk, makes Tobirama feel like covering himself up, even though he’s already wearing clothes.

“Oh yeah, I would _really_.”

Tobirama is uncomfortable. He’s also pretty sure he’s blushing, but considering Izuna is _also _blushing, he’s trying not to feel too self-conscious about it.

“That is . . . acceptable.”

“See you at the peace talks, Senju.” Izuna winks and leaps back into the trees.

Tobirama follows his flickering chakra for a few moments before a small smile tugs at his lips and he heads in the opposite direction. He finds himself looking forward to the peace talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all I got for now with this little plotline~ 
> 
> (and WOW I wasn't expecting to write nearly as much as I did for it ahaha)


	16. Hiding

“Aniki, you love me, right?” Izuna hurriedly asks as he slams the door behind him.

“Izuna?”

“And you don’t want me to die, right?”

“Of course, what’s this—”

“Then quick! Smother me with your chakra!”

“Wait—what?”

Izuna ignores Madara and dashes behind Madara’s desk and curls up underneath it.

“Uh—”

“Shh!! He’s coming!”

Izuna’s holding his breath, holding his chakra, holding his _everything _because Tobirama’s on a rampage and it’s completely Izuna’s fault. How was he supposed to know that those containers on the windowsill were experiments and wasn’t supposed to throw them out? Or that, when he learned about what they were (they were “cell samples” that Tobirama _was _growing) he opened his stupid traitor mouth and told Tobirama that _at least it wasn’t anything super important_. And that—that was clearly the wrong thing to say.

If Izuna survives he’s going to leave Konoha, find every blueberry bush in the forest, and hope that when he finishes he has enough, and looks pitiful enough, that Mito will make that blueberry tart Tobirama likes so much.

And then, then Izuna’s _never _going to touch things that have weird combinations of numbers and letters on them _ever _again.

“Madara.”

Izuna nearly whimpers, because Tobirama is here!

“Tobirama. What the fuck do you want?” And thank whatever is holy that Madara’s default to everything is anger. Thank. Fuck.

“I felt Izuna around here. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

There’s a tense pause where Izuna is sure that Aniki is glaring daggers at Tobirama and, well, it’s not like Izuna told him _why _he’s hiding. Hopefully that works in his favor and makes his aniki extra prickly.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You’re sure?”

“He’s my brother, of course I’d notice if he were here.”

Another pause, and Izuna’s started up his prayers again, pleasepleaseplease—

“Let me know if you see him.”

And then Tobirama—and his anger—are out the door and down the hall.

“Oh, thank god.”

“The fuck did you do, Izuna?”

“Who said I did anything?”

“You just did.”

“Why must you hurt me so?”

Madara ignores him as he kicks him from under his desk and begins looking over his paperwork again.

“Better go get started on that berry picking if you want to be forgiven anytime this week.”

Izuna grimaces, because Aniki’s enjoying his pain too much, but dutifully leaps out the window and bolts towards the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama: when we were younger I accidentally turned _all_ of Tobirama's notes into saplings  
Izuna: holy shit how are you still alive  
Hashirama: hm? oh, well, I gave Tobi my share of blueberry tart~! :D  
Izuna: blueberry tart, you say  
Hashirama: Yup! He'll forgive anything with a good blueberry tart~ :3  
Izuna: *activates sharingan* so, uh, do you know how to make a blueberry tart?  
Hashirama: oh don't be silly! I just have Mito make them~~ thank fuck I'd just gotten back from my trip to Uzushio~
> 
> Mito makes the best blueberry tarts and can do no wrong in Tobirama's books. Fact.


	17. Hey Aniki (Hey Aniki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it non-consensual voyeurism if it's chakra sensing? hmmm

Madara hates sensing. Oh, don’t get him wrong, it’s absolutely the thing that saves his ass a LOT but he hates how . . . _much _information he gets sometimes. Because the last thing he really wanted to know was that his little brother is jerking it in his room while he’s holed up with their Father and the Clan Elders after holding off what would’ve become a siege.

(Like Madara really was going to stop sensing when they just got attacked. Like he would really give the Senju an opening in the “lull” they’d created.)

So Madara sat there besides his father, listening to the Elders drone on about how they needed to _be more proactive_ and should _really send out more shinobi_ (irregardless of the fact those _more shinobi_ were getting younger and younger), while his brother let hormones control him. Urgh.

Madara, on his way home, wonders whether he should say something to Father. He immediately shoots that idea down and buries it under the appropriate amount of dirt. No way in _hell _is he about to talk to their father about Izuna jerking off.

So he supposes he’s the only one left to guide Izuna through this, seeing as he’s the only older brother Izuna has left. All this would be tolerable if Izuna would simply just ask questions rather than beat around the bush and cause both of their tempers to flare. Madara has no patience for any of their conversations that always, without a doubt, start with—

“Hey, Aniki?”

_Fuck_.

Madara fights an extra-strong grimace at the fragile, unsure tone. And this is why he always, without a doubt, answers him with—

“What is it?” He knows he sounds even more prickly than usual but hey, he’s still in his battle gear, covered in grime and sweat while _Izuna _seems to have at least cleaned up a bit.

Now that Madara looks closer, he can see a faint flush Izuna has, the way he’s averting his eyes and to him he may as well be fidgeting. His Older Brother senses are tingling and curling in malicious glee already.

“What’s it called when—”

“A crush.” Madara cuts him off to tease him. Because _as if_ his brother has a crush! He could simply die of laughter!

Izuna says nothing, and the glee he’s feeling quickly backtracks into murder as Madara narrows his eyes. Because Izuna looks almost . . . _stricken_ and _oh my god Izuna has a crush and didn’t even realize_—

“Wait!” Madara shouts as Izuna tears back down the hall and slams his bedroom door shut. He doesn’t even know who to point his newfound murderous feelings at: Izuna, himself, or whatever undeserving fuck Izuna’s crushing on.

Fuck, Madara really hates these talks.


	18. Murder is a Legitimate Thing (Hey Aniki)

Izuna’s not sure how much longer he can avoid Madara’s question. Ever since that fateful “Hey Aniki” talk three days ago Madara’s been near obsessive in figuring out who Izuna’s crushing on.

(And maybe Izuna shouldn’t take everything Madara says as scripture, but if the shoe fits—)

His sword slices through the air as he works through his katas. He would have never thought he has a crush on his rival. Never. Okay, maybe _never_, since now that he’s been struck with terrible hormones he’s noticed how good the other looks and catching himself wondering whether his hair is soft—

Growling, Izuna reminds himself that it’s all Aniki’s fault for telling him what he’s feeling is a crush. After spending that night panicking and thinking it over, denial only got him so far.

(How could he even deny it for that long, after coming back and pleasuring himself to the image of Tobirama’s flush face from their battle.)

Suddenly, as if lightning struck, Izuna has a terrible thought: what if Tobirama is going through something similar? What if it’s not him that he sees, but someone else? Someone so completely undeserving—

Izuna knows what he has to do now. If Izuna can’t make Tobirama his husband, then he’ll just have to kill him and make sure he can’t become anyone else’s.

He feels light as a feather as he makes his way back home from the training ground. Yes, this is probably the greatest idea he’s ever come up with! Not even his father’s passing once-over in disapproval (he wasn’t training for as long as he normally does) nor Aniki’s fierce scrutiny (he still hasn’t told him his crush—doesn’t plan to, either) dampen his spirits as he goes and washes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna, that's _not_ how you deal with unrequited crushes


	19. Questions (Hey Aniki)

“Something’s up with your brother.”

Shit, Madara was hoping to at least get a few more days to think of something to tell their father to explain Izuna’s weird behaviors lately but he guesses he’ll just have to improvise.

“I’ve noticed.”

Double shit. That gets him the Stern Look, which means Tajima is disappointed in him. Probably for not saying anything to him, or for not fixing it before Tajima noticed. Probably both.

“He’s got a crush.” And wow, Madara is _really _bad at this, because that is the absolute last thing he really wanted to admit to his father because now—

“Find out who it is.”

Fuck.

“I’m working on that.”

Tajima nods and Madara high-tails it out of there because now he has to stalk his little brother and that’s really not something he wants to do—even if it’s just chakra stalking. Maybe, maybe if Madara’s lucky Izuna will be in a sharing mood today.

Maybe.

So with hopes up and expectations down, he knocks before entering the bathroom where Izuna’s chakra is calm. (Like it wasn’t a mere fifteen minutes ago, when Izuna first went into the bathroom—Madara didn’t _want _to feel Izuna’s chakra respond to his pleasure but Madara is _concerned_, okay? Izuna never comes home from training early.)


	20. Answers (Hey Aniki)

Izuna isn’t particularly surprised when Aniki ends up entering the bathroom after his enlightening (if not just a _tiny _bit shorter than usual—two hours isn’t _that _much time) training session. He is particularly thankful that Aniki didn’t come in when he first got in.

So instead he sighs, and looks thoroughly put-out that he has to deal with Aniki during his bath (where he can’t easily run away).

Honestly it’s a wonder Aniki’s taken three days to trap him here.

Madara pulls up a stool and Izuna braces himself.

“Tell me who it is; Father wants an answer.”

Izuna didn’t brace himself enough. “Fuck.”

“Well, you didn’t fucking hide your shit well enough, I mean honestly, coming home two hours early and looking like you’ve been—you didn’t meet them, did you? Oh fuck no, no, don’t tell me.”

Izuna allows Aniki to rant; sometimes he rants and comes full circle and then leaves before he makes Izuna say anything. It’s in this vein of thought that he stays silent. Unfortunately, his luck isn’t very good to begin with—what, crushing on his rival isn’t enough for _some _gods, apparently—and Aniki brings his focus back.

“Please tell me it’s someone in the clan.”

“It’s someone in the clan.” Izuna parrots dutifully.

“God fucking dammit, Izuna”—Madara rubs his temples—“Are we at least on neutral terms with the clan they’re in?”

Shrugging, Izuna looks down at the small ripples he’s been making in the bath water.

Madara groans and drops his head into his hands, arms braced on his knees. “Shit, Izuna, next you’re going to say it’s that stupid albino Senju.”

Izuna keeps his focus on the little ripples of water, oh look they’re bouncing back and colliding with the others—

“Izuna—”

“It’s okay; I have a plan, you can leave now and tell Father it won’t interfere with my abilities or responsibilities to the clan.” Izuna cuts Madara off harshly, because he doesn’t need to listen to Aniki’s soft-spoken sympathy. He’d rather stab his own eyes out.

Madara hesitates for a moment before slipping out of the room.

Well, there went his good mood.


	21. Puzzled (Hey Aniki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt title: Hey Anija

“Anija, I have a question.”

“You always have questions, Tobi—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What can your Anija help you with?” Hashirama carries on like he wasn’t interrupted.

Tobirama wavers for a brief moment, and that’s enough to cause Hashirama to focus solely on him.

“Izuna—he said something weird to me earlier on the battlefield.”

Oh, oh _hell _no. Hashirama is going to hang him by his ankles with vines high, high up in a tree because—

“Anija, you’re ruining the table.”

Hashirama takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, and promptly ignores their new center piece while he asks, “And what did Izuna say to you?”

“He shouted that he ‘will kill me before I even think about having sex with anyone.’ Anija, why would he shout that he wants to kill me before I engage in sexual intercourse with someone?”

Screw vines, Hashirama is stringing him up with poison ivy.

As it is, he’s flailing because his darling, his sweet, his innocent, his last baby brother just said _sex _and Hashirama is not _not **not **_prepared at all. He wheezes and pulls his Tobi in close.

“Shh, shh, you don’t need to understand, it’s okay, you’re much too young for such thoughts.”

Hashirama wails a bit more, lamenting his fate.

“Very well. I shall ask him what he meant next time.”

Hashirama gurgles and thinks—hopes—that maybe Touka can talk some sense into him.


	22. Volunteer (Hey Aniki)

It only took two weeks, three missions in neutral territory, three exceedingly close calls with Tobirama on said missions, and a brush with death for Izuna to hear the gossip. And for a hot minute there, he thought that he’d finally found his chance. Of course, his blood-loss addled brain had come up with a very, very sketchy plan involving sheep and itching powder, but the end result would be that Tobirama would end up in bed with him.

Because apparently Tobirama’s searching for a bed mate.

And word’s still out whether it’s worth it to try with Hashirama being all _Hashirama_, or whether Tobirama would be boring and judgmental in bed.

(Izuna doesn’t want anyone to even _think _about it. While he’d be stupid _not _to be afraid of Hashirama, he’s just stupid enough that he’d try anyways, if given the chance.)

Izuna is all but vibrating with his pent-up emotions and that’s half the reason he’s been going on back-to-back missions. The fact that most of those missions are below his skill level means nothing.

“Izuna,” Aniki says, because he’s bed-bound for another day and he’d much, much rather go blow something up and Aniki _knows _this and that’s why the traitor is all but _sitting on him_—“why have you been volunteering to go on these missions?”

Izuna says nothing. The sky is such a beautiful blue today, it really, really is.

“Fucking Senju.” Madara murmurs under his breath.

“I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.”

“What.”

“I SAID I’M WORKING ON IT!”

“Izuna, I SWEAR TO GOD—”

“Yes! That’s why I’ve gone on the missions; they seemed like the type where _he _would go on them if the other side hired _them_.”

Madara is quiet for a long minute.

Izuna silently waits Madara out, sweating.

“Maybe you really do need to get dicked.” He says at last, and then simply gets off the bed and leaves the room without saying anything else.

Izuna sputters and turns bright red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara knows best.


	23. Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on Alasse_m's newest [art (nsfw)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19230757/chapters/47688106) and Lilili_cat's comment. 
> 
> Look at what you've made me do

“Such a hungry little hole.” Izuna’s blushing, but he can see the flush on the tips of Tobirama’s ears.

(And, _oh_, what a pretty picture his Senju is, completely naked, sprawled face down ass up in his lap while he’s still completely clothed.)

Tobirama makes some kind of noise from where he’s face first into the carpet and Izuna grins.

“Don’t worry”—he adds another finger just to hear Tobirama’s breath hitch—“I’ll give it what it needs.”

His other hand smooths its way across Tobirama’s leg, and then underneath where he’s hard and aching, pressed against his own hardness through his pants. Lovingly, he squeezes Tobirama’s length before teasing and tugging his balls.

“And once you’re spread open on my fist, I’m going to wring as many orgasms from you that you’ll go stupid by the end and beg for me to fuck you.”

Tobirama’s arms tremble as his hands scrabble for purchase.

“Then I’ll give you one more”—Izuna very purposefully presses against Tobirama’s prostate for emphasis and _loving _Tobirama’s loud, answering moan—“before I press into your pliant body, all overstimulated and twitchy.”

Izuna can picture it too, has fantasized about having his Senju surrender completely to him, to his mercy, only to beg for more even when he’d already begged him to stop.

Mmmm, yes, Izuna thinks as his sharingan whirls again, the night is still very, very young.


	24. Chance (Hey Aniki)

Alright, so Izuna can admit that this wasn’t the best idea he’s ever had. Granted, he’s running on the fourth night of no sleep asides from the last couple hours stuck in a tree branch. It’s not like he planned on _literally _dropping on top of Tobirama. He was catching some sleep before making his way back to the compound and figured that if he had no money he would just, sleep in the tree in front of the inn and pretend. It’s really, really not his fault that Tobirama chose to walk under his tree at the unfortunate moment when Izuna slipped—strategically fell—off the branch.

And now he’s here.

And it’s either confess, or get gutted. Because Senju _please fuck me_ Tobirama is wielding a sharp and pointy kunai against his throat.

(And god, does Izuna wish that a certain other hard and pointy object were pressed—)

“I asked you a question.”

Right. Tobirama. Still there, still with the sharp and pointy. Heh. No wait, this is actually serious. Shit. It’s really, _really _difficult to concentrate when Tobirama’s _right _behind him and apparently puberty was more generous with him (or perhaps, just with the Senju in general now that he thinks about it) but now Tobirama’s taller than him, with a voice to match.

Breathe.

This is the absolute worst time to get a boner. Or, actually, maybe a boner would work in his favor. Hm.

The kunai presses against his throat a little bit more, causing his adrenaline to spike, and as a result Izuna leans back to ease up the pressure, only to end up even closer to that hard chest and delicious voice and—

“_Fuck me_.”

There’s a pause.

Izuna blinks open his eyes because he _did not_ just say that out loud.

(He very purposefully doesn’t think about how much of a needy whine that sounded like.)

Tobirama makes a considering noise and his _other _hand—the one not wielding Mr. Sharp and Pointy—moves from where the seal paper is sticking to Izuna’s wrist up his arm and around to cup his jaw. Goosebumps break out in its wake.

“And what’s an Uchiha’s word worth?”

Izuna snarls, because “An Uchiha’s word is absolute.”

“Then promise me this: if I let go of you, you won’t try and harm me until we’re done.”

Izuna really, really shouldn’t. It’s almost a betrayal; sleeping with the enemy. But it’s _Tobirama _and _fuck_—

“You have my word that I won’t try and hurt you until we’re done.”

Almost immediately the kunai is stashed _who knows where_ and then Tobirama’s lightly tugging the seal off his wrist. Tobirama meets his eyes warily—almost like a test. Good thing Izuna’s good at tests. Sharingan is safely tucked away, unfortunately, because he actually really wants to remember this experience in vivid, crystal-clear detail. Maybe he could ask.

“I have no practical experience, however I believe I have sufficient theoretical knowledge to make this enjoyable for both of us.”

On second thought, maybe just having the experience and regretfully (gladly) forgetting some finer details will be more than okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That feel when your Anija is so overprotective that the first guy to fall on you gets to sleep with you :^)  
(and the fact that it's an Uchiha makes it _so much_ better)


	25. Experiement

“Oh, _fuck_—what the fuck did you just _do_, Tobirama?”

“I applied a small bit of chakra near your prostate. With luck, it will make you more aware of the sensations that pass over it.” Tobirama is incredibly pleased with himself. He continues stretching Izuna, enjoying the feel of his chakra inside of him.

“Wait, wait—you wha—_ah_!”

“I applied a little bit more. You seem to enjoy it, and this way it’ll last.”

“I don’t—I’m—Tobirama, just fuck me already!”

Tobirama takes a moment more to simply feel the chakra, rubbing his fingers along the edges as he listens to Izuna keen. It’s a really pretty sound; Tobirama is glad he can make Izuna make those sounds. And, just because he can, he pushes a little bit more chakra there before withdrawing his fingers.

“Hurry up, _please_—I need you.” It’s more whine than words, and Tobirama notes that, once again, Izuna’s always more honest when he’s half-crazed with pleasure.

His statement only confirms Tobirama's theory that he would enjoy his little trick with his chakra. But he’s not in the business of denying his lover anything, and therefore he shifts to line his leaking member up and pushes into Izuna steadily. Pale legs wrap around his waist and try to make him move faster, as they always do.

And, as Tobirama always does, he pushes down on the pressure points at the top of Izuna’s thighs to cause the muscles to relax. It makes Izuna babble and plead, scratch his shoulders up and bite his neck at the perceived unfairness.

However, this time—this time Tobirama can feel the tingle of his chakra seated deep inside Izuna and he groans. Izuna’s all but sobbing as he’s gripping Tobirama tightly. He looks like a light breeze would cause him to finish, and it’s with that in mind that Tobirama, now fully inside Izuna, grinds up as he pulls Izuna down that impossible extra bit more.

Tobirama’s rewarded when Izuna comes completely undone without a single touch more.

Izuna’s chakra settles as he does, and Tobirama watches on in fascination as Izuna passes out. He waits a moment, and then moves one hand to stop a streak of come from sliding into Izuna’s hair. Izuna tried to explain to him why he absolutely loathes getting any in his hair several times, but Tobirama, who doesn’t have the same vanity as Izuna, has never truly understood it. Maybe the length of hair makes a difference.

With a sigh, he slides out of Izuna and cleans his still-hard cock off before turning and cleaning Izuna up. He lays next to Izuna and plays with his bangs by habit as he thinks over their encounter.

Perhaps he used a bit too much chakra.


	26. Not For Lack of Trying (Unsubtle)

“Anikiii,” Izuna whines as he flops down next to Madara at home.

“What now.”

“So mean!” Izuna huffs, “I just had the worst—simply the _worst_—day and—”

“So Tobirama didn’t return any of your salacious winks or looks again.”

“You say that like it happens everyday or something!”

“IT DOES HAPPEN EVERYDAY!”

“Hmph, doesn’t mean you gotta rub it in my face.”

Madara gives him the Look. That’s fine, it’s all fine. There’s peace now, a village now, and he can finally, finally attempt to talk to Tobirama now, but that stupid Senju doesn’t seem to even notice his attempts at flirting. And he still won’t look him in the eye! Rude!

(They’re at peace now—Izuna would never think of using his sharingan to further his goals at courting Tobirama. _Never_.)

“Have you considered, Izuna, that Tobirama just simply—isn’t interested?”

“HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT? I KNOW TOBIRAMA THE BEST! WHO WAS HIS RIVAL FOR THE LAST FUCK-ALL? THAT’S RIGHT. ME. WE’RE _EQUALS_.”

“Maybe on the battlefield, but clearly he’s got some semblance of taste, if he keeps rebuffing you.”

“RUDE!”


	27. Understanding (Unsubtle)

Tobirama’s day so far has been really quite good. He got to pet a total of three different cats on his way to the tower this morning, received two hugs from probably the most adorable kids ever, and he only had one new pile of paperwork on his desk when he walked in.

All in all, a magnificent Monday morning.

Even when Hashirama finally decides to show up—_“No, Anija, you can’t keep using Mito as an excuse to come in later on Mondays”_—his Monday is still magnificent.

Even Madara cannot muddle his morning.

(Ever since there’s been peace, Madara’s seemed to mellow out, if only a little bit. Tobirama’s not entirely sure what’s changed his mind about Tobirama being the scourge of all mankind for almost killing Izuna, but he concedes that it’s probably something he shouldn’t ask about.)

So Tobirama carries on cheerfully until after lunch, when the sharp, crackling chakra of Izuna suddenly veers towards his office. He holds in a sigh with great effort as his former rival walks in.

“Izuna, is there something I can help you with?” Tobirama even puts his brush down, to show that _yes_, he really is actively listening to Izuna.

“There’s nothing you want to say to me?” Incredulity coats Izuna’s words and Tobirama quickly reminds himself of the date—not Izuna’s birthday, nor any significant holiday—

“Really, are you blind, or are you just stupid?”

Tobirama senses a trap here, but can’t _quite _place a finger on why. “I am blind, clearly.”

There’s a pause.

“Go on, Senju, that’s a good start to your apology. I’m still listening.”

“What? That’s not an apology.” Nevermind that Anija specifically ordered him to stop apologizing for being blind before. Several times. In fact, the only reason Tobirama had _stopped _apologizing was because he learned tricks to compensate.

Izuna laughs, and his chakra pops along with it.

Tobirama just waits.

“Oh, shit”—there it is—“You’re serious? For how long? WHAT!”

“For nearly as long as I can remember—”

“NO FUCKING WONDER!”

Now it’s Tobirama’s turn to not understand.

“Ohoho~ that means I just need to change my approach.”

Tobirama tenses at that, casting out his senses to catch whatever it is Izuna is planning—oh. _Oh_. Quickly, he reels back his chakra because he’s never had someone _intentionally rub their own_ against his. (Anija’s is always pressing against his own, heavy like a security blanket. Not at all like _this_.) His face feels hot because not only does Tobirama feel slightly violated, the emotions he skimmed off the chakra definitely point towards more, ah, _intimate _intentions.

“Heh, felt that, did you now?”

“I wasn’t aware you felt that way.” Tobirama’s Monday is now is complete disarray, and he feels terribly, terribly off-balance.

“Okay, yes, good, now that we’ve established that I _do_, in fact, feel this way, what do you say?”

“What do I say?”

“For fuck’s sake, Tobirama! I’m asking you out! As in, courting, dating, hopefully-more sort of thing!”

Oh.

“You don’t . . . mind?”

“What, that you’re blind? Not really, no. I mean, a fuckton of things _make sense_ now and it’s rather unfortunate for my ego that you’ve been fighting me _blind _and I never realized—but I suppose I can let you _feel _my good looks instead~”

Tobirama blinks. That’s . . . probably the best reaction he’s ever gotten. Granted, everyone else who knows asides from Anija and Touka met the sharpened edge of his sword, but still, it’s the thought that counts.

(How many tears has Anija spilled—continues to spill? How many angry tears has Touka shed, when his lack of sight gets brought up again in the face of a beautiful landscape?)

Anger, regret, sadness. He’s associated those feelings with his condition for years from his family.

(Condescending, almost malicious glee from those few enemies that learned the truth.)

But near apathy? Unheard of. Yet Izuna’s chakra doesn’t lie; he feels chagrined at having missed the fact (it doesn’t even feel directed towards him). Izuna truly doesn’t care. The thought almost makes him giddy.

“Alright, Izuna.”

“HAH! TAKE THAT, ANIKI!” Izuna’s off like a shuriken, and Tobirama huffs a quiet laugh before shaking his head.

A small smile grows on his face as he hears Izuna screeching (_“I TOLD YOU THAT THIS TOP BRINGS OUT MY BETTER QUALITIES!”_) just down the hall, accompanied with Izuna’s _wispy-crackling-sparking _happy feeling chakra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave it to Izuna to find the most suitable way to get Tobirama to blush. I'm sure Tobirama will enjoy _feeling your good looks_.
> 
> Izuna, you have your moments; you clearly could've "outted" Tobirama's condition but chose not to. 
> 
> Also, yes, Izuna's the first one to ever wear a crop top~


	28. My Eyes, They BURN

_“Izuna—” _

_“Please, don’t pull out, not yet.” He pleads, laying on top of Tobirama’s chest. _

_Peppering a few light kisses onto Tobirama’s chest before leaning back, Izuna takes in the flush face, the soft, fluffy white hair spread out on the pillow. _

_“You’re so beautiful, koi.” Izuna breathes out and then closes his eyes as he leans in for a kiss._

Madara wakes up grimacing. He really should’ve thought through this whole, _get his brother’s eyes to avoid going completely blind_ Thing. Because the sharingan impressions are **Real**. The battles, the missions, the training, he’d take those vivid replays during his sleep any night. But these? These sappy, soft, most-of-the-times intimate ones? Yeah, fuck those in particular; those are Madara’s nightmares now.

Fuck.

Just having them is bad enough, but the worst part is that his body apparently doesn’t care that he’s literally watching through his brother’s eyes as he fucks_ Senju Tobirama_ or gets fucked by him (which, despairingly, actually seems to happen more). He wakes up hard, if he’s lucky, but a large majority of the time he wakes up to a sticky mess.

Madara wants to brain himself; surely going completely blind wouldn’t be worse than this. Why did he ever agree to take Izuna’s eyes?

Izuna—the asshole—sends him knowing smiles when he gets extra prickly around him and Tobirama in the mornings after he gets one of _those _sorts of nightmares.


	29. All Night

Enough pressure there—just like oiling a kunai—

“Ah!”

—bite then lick—

“Oh _fuuuck_.”

—trail exactly four open mouthed kisses and bypass—

“Tobirama!”

—suck—

“Shhh!”

Tobirama pauses. A new sound, interesting. He quickly switches thighs and sucks a matching deep hickey there.

“Shhhh—_ahh_! Tobirama _please_—”

How interesting. Tobirama catalogs the newest sensation/reaction and licks his way up to Izuna’s weeping member.

He refrains from telling Izuna his latest discovery; after the first few instances where he did, Izuna got rather defensive, calling him out as ‘being distracted’. Izuna doesn’t understand that Tobirama is constantly thinking, and to him, figuring out how to reduce him to a puddle of bliss and sensation _is _his way of devoting his entire being to Izuna.

Staring up into Izuna’s sharingan, he gives his best smirk. Tobirama thinks it’s about time for him to figure out whether Izuna can stay awake long enough to break his record of thirteen orgasms in one night before passing out.

Tobirama swallows the first one for the night down, taking note of the deep pink of Izuna's cheeks that trail down his neck to his chest. Izuna's eyes are closed, fingers tangled in their sheets. Tobirama allows him to have a moment.

Izuna doesn’t have to be aware of tonight’s plans—the data’s less skewed that way. He lets his eyes go half-mast as his fingers caress Izuna’s skin in a familiar dance.

“_Again_—?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Izuna, your night's only just begun~~
> 
> Don't you know the Senju are known for their stamina?? ;3c


	30. The Game is Afoot (Here Kitty Kitty)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday! And all the new MadaTobi feral fics are giving me life! Such a wonderful prompt!

“ . . . fucking find him, I swear to god . . . ”

“Izuna?”

“Madara!” Izuna yelps and jumps a solid foot in the air. “Oh fuck, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Madara raises an eyebrow, amused. “Walk up to you and say your name?”

Izuna flushes. “No! Yes—I mean!—Help me find Tobirama!”

“Why do you need help finding him?”

“I can’t find him.”

“You . . . _can’t _. . . find Tobirama?” Madara’s face scrunches up and in any other circumstance Izuna would laugh. “Isn’t finding Tobirama an innate skill you’ve honed to a deadly point by now?”

Izuna opens his mouth to send a scathing retort back at his Aniki, and then stops, closes his mouth, and then nods a little. Aniki has a point there.

Just as he finally opens his mouth to actually reply to Madara, his eyes catch sight of a fucking _snow leopard_. Here! In Konoha. This just reeks of his new-jutsu-trying lover. “What the fuck.”

Madara turns to look behind him but the big cat’s already turned the corner of a building with a flick of its long, furry tail.

“What?”

“Nevermind, Aniki! I know how to find him! See you later!” Izuna quickly rushes out and pushes his Aniki out of the way, ignoring the indignant squawk he got in response.

He’s got a large cat to catch.


	31. Idea (Here Kitty Kitty)

Izuna tries not to punch the wall in frustration. This is, unfortunately, yet _another _time that damn cat gave him the slip! If he wasn’t sure if Tobirama was involved before, he sure would be now!

“You little fucker . . . just wait until I get my grubby little pa—oh!”

Paws! Yes! That is exactly what Izuna needs for this search and capture! Clearly his lovely large cat doesn’t want to be caught by a human. But maybe . . .

With a large puff of smoke and chakra, Izuna appears—

What the fuck?!

Izuna can feel the hair—_fur_—sticking out from his back, his tail (a tail!) bristling out. Instead of a big cat, he’s a pathetic little kitten! This was _not _what he had in mind for his henge, and he wonders where exactly he went wrong when, in the moment his eyes close in thought, his neck is caught in a vice grip.

Well, Izuna thinks wryly, the kami certainly have a sense of humor.

He can’t so much as even twitch, even to dispel the henge, with his scruff caught and _apparently _the area is a muscle relaxer and emotional soother all in one. Man, cats have the right idea. If only he had _wanted _the attention in the first place.

Feeling more than hearing the rumble from his captor, Izuna inwardly grimaces and sends out a mental _fuck you_. Of course the stupid leopard was watching him, like it totally knew what he was planning on doing. Fuck. All he can really do now, at this point, is let himself get carted to _wherever the fuck_ they’re heading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A+ for effort, Izuna


	32. Unwanted Attention (Here Kitty Kitty)

Has Izuna ever mention he hates being carted around like a sack of potatoes before?

Well, he hates being carted around like a sack of potatoes. Especially when it’s in the mouth of a fucking snow leopard. And so help him, he’s gonna blow the biggest Grand Fireball up Tobirama’s ass for this when it’s all over.

After that dizzying and harrowing first-hand experience, Izuna is more than justified at having bit Tobirama—because this close, there’s no mistaking that the snow leopard _is_ Tobirama—the moment he was placed inside a soft, nest-like area. He was then promptly smooshed underneath fucking heavy ass arms and paws and then subjected to a thorough—_thorough_—tongue bath.

(Izuna doesn’t even want to think on that right now, not when he’s still being smooshed and there’s not enough room to fix his henge in whatever fucking dark, small, enclosed space he’s been brought to.)

So he hisses instead. Because if he can’t make his displeasure known in a visceral way, he might _actually _implode. He also wriggles in an entirely self-satisfying way to try and figure out where the fuck he actually is. What that gets him is a flick of a tail over him as _Tobirama _apparently just lays there with his eyes closed like he’s entirely unworried that Izuna is going to brutally murder him when he gets the chance.

Well then, fine! Izuna pointedly takes an offended position, back arched and fur standing on edge, and then bounces a few times before he lands on Tobirama’s exposed fur belly.

He’s rewarded with a sharp yowl and those large—fast!—paws batting at him. Izuna assumes they’re batting at him playfully, as there’s no sharp nails being dug into him. Momentarily stunned at the fact he’s effectively been _swatted away_, he rears up for another strike when—

Tobirama hisses, a sound so loud and so filled with deadly intent that Izuna stills and allows himself to get pulled close and half sat on. He wriggles his exposed hind legs and tail, getting more suffocating weight pressed down onto him for his struggles.

There’s a shuffling noise, and then a too familiar gasp and oh dear fucking Sage—

“Tobi!”

Tobirama makes a more threatening sound and Izuna tries to wrap his head around how he’s literally underneath Tobirama _in front of Hashirama_—

“No! Bad Tobi! You can’t steal kittens! Where did you even _find _a kitten?”

A sharp hiss.

“Tobi!” Izuna hears Hashirama sharp reprimand, before wailing again, “You can’t be that kitten’s new mom! I mean, unless the kitten has lost it’s mom and now it’s all by it’s lonesome—oh _Tobi_, is that the only one you saved?”

Tobirama makes a soft _mroow _and starts purring, which means, seeing as Izuna is right underneath that heavy chest, Izuna bears the full brunt of the sound. Wriggling some more, he finally gets out from under the leopard and _Sage_, the leopard is all muscle.

“Oh~ look how cute you are! You’re so cute, so lucky my Tobi found you, lost little one!” Hashirama prattles on, gushing over him, light filtering in behind him like a halo.

Izuna looks around the space and understands he’s in a closet, but nothing more really stands out to him before he’s suddenly thrown off-balance by Tobirama giving him a few quick licks to the side of his head.

Hashirama coos and sobs over the blatant display of affection.

Izuna is surrounded by fucking idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorough tongue bath indeed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	33. Revenge (Here Kitty Kitty)

After not one, but two—_two!_—more cat baths just as thorough as the first, Izuna finally manages to find himself out of that dark, soft, welcoming—he means dark, stuffy, totally not at all comfortable—closet to come face to, er, feet with Hashirama.

The closet, much to Izuna’s chagrin, seems to be _Hashirama’s _closet.

He hears Tobirama pad out of the closet just as Hashirama picks him up with too soft, too gentle hands to peer at his—!!!

“_He’s _a cutie, Tobi, I’ll give you that!” And just like that he’s being pulled in to an embrace against Hashirama and having one hand run down his back and at a good spot under his chin and—

“Look, Tobi! He’s drooling~”

Izuna is mortified and truly, truly hopes that Tobirama, and by extension Hashirama, for his latest indignity, all catch on fire. Preferably from Amaterasu.

Though, from the looks of it, it seems as though Tobirama isn’t quite . . . all there, in terms of mental facilities. Tobirama is slowly circling Hashirama, his tail up high and curled.

“Ow! Tobi! Stop with the nails!”

Tobirama had his nails digging into Hashirama’s thighs in order to prop himself up to get closer to Izuna, nose sniffing the air and loud, inquisitive meows filling the room.

“Okay, okay~ let me go and we can go get some food for the little guy, okay?”

This seems to be something Tobirama understands, as he promptly bounds out of the room with a loud trill, leaving Izuna feeling rather off at _being carried by Hashirama_. He wiggles hard, and is rewarded when his claws come out and make Hashirama wince. A claw gets caught in Hashirama’s yukata on his way down but Izuna could not care less if he lost the damn thing, _he needs to be set down and let go of_—

Finally, freedom! He bolts from Hashirama and the reach of those long arms. Tobirama’s trills haven’t stopped, and so Izuna follows them towards the Senju’s kitchen, where Tobirama is sitting in a wooden box that’s just _there _like this whole scenario just _happens _and—

No! He does _not _want to be picked up again, fuck you, Hashirama!

Scruff grabbing and holding needs to be made illegal, Izuna thinks as angrily as he can manage as he’s, once again, subjected to the calm and almost paralytic rush of endorphins.

In related news, he’s placed in the wooden box next to Tobirama.

Izuna waits until Hashirama’s back is turned towards them as he faces the counter. Izuna waits a moment more before nimbly leaping from the box and then meowing as loud as all get out as he scales Hashirama’s pants, making doubly sure his claws are out and gripping as he climbs the dumb tree idiot. Hashirama’s startled yelps are music to his ears.

If he’s going to be treated like a cat, then he’s going to act like the most annoying sort of cat there is.


	34. Settled (Here Kitty Kitty)

Izuna wakes up when fingers nimbly scratch his ears. While he still feels slighted at having gone through this entire ordeal of being a _kitten_, he has to admit that there are certainly times it’s paid off. His purrs grow in volume as those fingers find every good spot Izuna knew about and then some.

There’s a low chuckle, and then—

“I didn’t know that you enjoyed being pet, Izuna, otherwise I would have suggested this long ago.”

Izuna freezes, eyes snapping open in shock to find Tobirama—clothed, fully _human _Tobirama—kneeling down and petting him. They stare at one another for a long moment as Izuna’s purrs wind down. Thank the Sage that Izuna can’t blush in this form, but—

He pounces out, catching the front of Tobirama’s yukata and forcing them out of the small of the closet. As soon as there’s room Izuna’s dispelling the henge, sprawled over Tobirama’s lap with his knees on either side of Tobirama’s hips.

“Fuck you, Tobirama! You were a snow leopard! What!” Izuna grits his teeth because he knows he’s flushing horribly as his brain kindly reminds him of all the things that Tobirama did!

“Ah, I was, that happens.”

“What.” Izuna is entirely confused. “It just . . . _happens_? What do you mean ‘that happens’?!”

“Precisely that: I sometimes turn into a snow leopard.” Tobirama states bluntly, like that’s something that’s commonplace and not at all something that just doesn’t happen—!

Izuna snorts. “Yeah, nice try Mister Creates Ten New Jutsus a Day.”

Tobirama raises an eyebrow at him.

“Quit it, I’m not falling for it.”

The eyebrow drops into a blank stare.

“You’re fucking with me!”

Tobirama sighs.

“Holy shit.” Izuna whispers, before promptly freaking out. “What—I—but how—I don’t—”

He takes a breath.

“You ASSHOLE!” Izuna smacks Tobirama’s shoulder and chest over and over. “I WAS FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”

His half-hearted swats aren’t dodged and his wrists are caught in a gentle hold.

“You were worried about me?”

Izuna sniffs. “Of course I was! You were just _gone _and I couldn’t find you—”

Kisses press into the backs of his hands, then his palms as his hands are turned over in Tobirama’s grasp.

“So you changed into a _kitten _while attempting to catch me?”

Izuna doesn’t like the amused tone Tobirama’s using. Not one bit. He frowns. However, the blush on Tobirama’s cheeks is a pretty color.

“I, ah, don’t tend to remember every detail when I get like . . . like _that_, but I’ve been told I tend to be more instinctual. So I apologize for snatching you up.”

Izuna’s brain boots back up at the apology and he takes the time to just look at Tobirama. Oh, he could work with this!

“So what you’re saying, is that deep down your instincts want to, what, care for me? Protect me? Give me very, very thorough tongue baths?” He watches as the pink deepens to a lovely shade of red on Tobirama’s face.

“Ah, right, that . . . uhm . . . ”

Izuna bursts out laughing, nearly dislodging himself off Tobirama’s lap. He gets a glare in answer and it’s not very effective with how much red has suffused his face.

“You’ll just have to make an honest man out of me and marry me.” Izuna finally says with a shark-like grin.

A plate shatters.

They both whip their head around to the doorway where Hashirama’s gaping like a very large, unattractive fish.

Ah. Izuna actually forgot there, in the heat of the moment, that he just came out of Hashirama’s closet. And he’s perched on top of Tobirama’s lap after basically demanding he marry him!

Izuna can recognize that this situation calls for a strategic retreat.

He henges back into a kitten and dives for the open part of Tobirama’s yukata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically Tobirama changes into a snow leopard every full moon, even during the daylight hours~
> 
> Hashirama is just Used to it because it's his baby brother and Tobirama _still_ won't tell him what happened on that mission when they were kids that started it all


	35. Impossibility (Be careful what you wish for)

Izuna is really having a trying day. No less than—hm, let him think—_all _of the clan Elders have stopped him today to discuss his lack of marriage and heirs. It’s really grating on his nerves, especially since he’s not even the clan head! And so, as he always does when marriage—and kids!—are brought up, he goes to his Aniki to complain.

(Maybe if he annoys Aniki more, he’ll actually attempt to find someone that can withstand his prickly nature. Hopefully.)

“Aniki!”

“Izuna, really. Must you?”

“I must!” Izuna is almost hurt by the long-suffering sigh that his Aniki gives him. He gives a polite nod to Hashirama—not only is he the new Hokage, but like, he could squish Izuna and he wouldn’t even notice until he’s already been squished. That demands at least a little politeness. Just a tad.

“And what, pray tell me, must you interrupt my work for?”

“Marriage!”

Madara gapes and sputters and nearly—oh nope, there goes the chair out the window.

“WHAT! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED TO?”

“I’m not!” He heatedly says back, then adds as an afterthought, “Unless it’s Tobirama.”

“_Izuna_.”

“Okay, sheesh—the elders are getting on my case again. Want me to marry and have _spawn_.” He shudders.

“And that’s news, how?”

Izuna flails a bit, because Aniki is just _not understanding_. “Because I just said I don’t want to marry anyone but Tobirama!”

Silence.

“Heh, of course, the only person I’d ever want to carry my heirs would be Tobirama.”

“Izuna, really, that’s got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Izuna shrugs. “Maybe the Elders would finally get off my back about it all if _you _finally found someone.”

“FUCK OFF, IZUNA!”

Dodging the paperweight thrown at him, he laughs as he jumps out the window to the wonderful sounds of Aniki’s screeching and Hashirama’s inquisitive babbling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna, be careful what you wish for~~
> 
> OMAKE, in which Hashirama is shamelessly enabling Madara's chair defenestration habit  
Hashirama: need me to make another chair for you, Mads? :D  
Madara: . . . yes  
Hashirama, pouting: you gonna end up throwing this one out the window, too?  
Madara: I can't make any promises


	36. Gathering Research (Be careful what you wish for)

“Ane-ue.”

“Tobirama, a pleasure.” Mito shuffles backwards and waves him in. “Please, come in, I’ll get some tea.”

“Thank you.”

Tobirama takes a moment to look at Mito. She’s started showing enough that she’s taken to wearing slightly looser-fit clothing—not that it’s any less elegant. Tobirama wholeheartedly believes Mito will go into labor and simply walk herself to her birthing pool just as she’s walking now: elegant and poised.

Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he takes a sip of the soothing chamomile tea. It’s only when Mito’s hands come up to her stomach that he realizes he’s been staring. He raises his eyes to meet her gaze.

“You’re interested.” It’s not a question, but more a surprised statement.

“What’s it like?” Tobirama starts, and suddenly finds he can’t stop. “What does it feel like, to be with child? I’ve read that as far along as you are you should be able to feel it move but how do you feel about carrying something that, for all intents and purposes, is a parasite? What’s—”

Light laughter cuts him off and he blinks, embarrassed. He . . . hadn’t really meant to blurt out his questions, but he has been stewing on them ever since he heard the news—first reading all the literature he could find, then asking questions to any midwife he was able to corner who was not busy (surprisingly difficult, and what took the majority of the past three months), and now, he thought he was prepared to actually ask a pregnant person questions, and his first thought was of Mito.

“Come here, Tobirama.”

And Tobirama comes, because he’s curious and—

Mito’s grasp on his hand is firm and unyielding as she places it on her distended stomach. He pushes slightly, able to feel that it isn’t anything like belly fat, more firm and rounded. His hand moves on its own, the other joining in quickly, pushing every so often to try and get a feel of what’s underneath. He’s heard that some midwives can channel chakra and get a better feel of the baby, an iryou-nin technique that he’s figured out. Idly he wonders if Hashirama uses that.

From what he theorizes, it would feel much different than when he uses his sensing, simply because the baby’s chakra coils have no effect on this technique.

(As it is, he knows that Mito is pregnant, but even without her dense, Uzumaki chakra, he’d have a hard time telling that she really is pregnant without visual confirmation; the baby’s chakra coils are still in development and heavily reliant on the mother.)

There’s a nudge.

Tobirama pauses, eyes going wide.

“That was—”

“Yes, it was.” Mito cuts in, placing her hand on top of his as he’s kicked again.

Tobirama can’t look away, because Mito’s eyes are closed in happiness as she’s kicked from inside. He wonders how much different it would feel, a kick coming internally rather than externally. With his knowledge, maybe he could create a seal, or a jutsu—

“Mito!”—the front door slams open and Tobirama can hear Hashirama kick it closed—“You wouldn’t believe it, but for some reason Tobi—”

Hashirama blinks at him.

Tobirama isn’t impressed.

And then Hashirama looks at him, at his _hands _on Mito’s stomach. Then gets such a dreamy smile on his face.

“Incredible, isn’t it?” He says in a voice much calmer than Tobirama’s ever heard before. The moment’s over before Tobirama could even blink.

“You know, you didn’t have to leave early if you wanted to see Mito!”

“Anija.” Tobirama sighs and, regretfully, pulls his hands away from Mito.

“Wait, don’t tell me that you’re interested as in, _interested _interested! No! Tobi, you can’t have children! That means you’re—who is it? Who is my baby brother deciding he needs to get pregnant? Why didn’t you invite me to the wedding? You’re not planning on eloping, are you?”

“Come back anytime, Tobirama. You always know where to find me.” Mito says softly, ignoring Hashirama’s wailing in the background as he himself is doing.

“I will do so.”

Mito sends a knowing look his way, and he ducks under Hashirama’s attempt at a grapple with a blush high on his cheeks because Mito is the one he’s been going to to talk about his, ah, _interests_. Especially when those interests come with black hair, black eyes that are sometimes red, and a several years long rivalry.

Tobirama is certain that she is running multiple bets across Konoha, and has probably conned half those people into betting against her—most definitely including Hashirama, if those bets are about his own love life. He almost feels bad about giving her insider information. Almost.


	37. Helping Hand (Be careful what you wish for)

“ . . . and then you’ve got the hormones to consider, too. Since they’re needed for conception and to sustain pregnancy.”

Tobirama nods as he takes notes, Mito’s calm voice filling the study. “Then perhaps, a seal would be better, instead of a jutsu.”

“Hypothetically?” Mito says with a knowing smile.

“Yes, hypothetically.” Tobirama ignores the heat he can feel rising his his cheeks.

“Well then, _hypothetically_”—Tobirama is not going to get angry at Mito, not going to get angry at the only pregnant woman and seal master who could help him—“then yes. A seal would probably be better. After all, one cannot choose to stop being pregnant for even an hour if they wish to complete the pregnancy.”

Tobirama allows himself to doodle his thoughts on seals to promote and sustain a pregnancy. Time dependency matrices and timed-releases and—

A slip of paper falls in his line of sight, small fingers betraying its owner. Tobirama, always interested in the seal work the Uzumaki imparted with Mito, picks up the paper with interest. He stares longer than necessary at, what is essentially, exactly what he’s been trying to think up. He lowers the paper and sends Mito a disapproving frown; he doesn’t like being handed answers.

“The Uzumaki have been using seals for nearly everything, including pregnancy and everything that entails. Even if it’s for someone not born with the right equipment. That seal’s been around and used for several generations. It’s been tested and I personally have seen its use on a dear friend of mine. It’s safe.”

Tobirama waivers, because Mito’s hit all the points he normally looks for in regards to using others’ work. It’s not that he doesn’t trust other people’s ways, but usually he finds _something _lacking.

“Thank you.” He says at last, because he’d have heard of this seal if it were a more common, readily shared seal of their sister clan, and he’s nothing if not grateful for the sharing of knowledge.

Mito fixes him with a small smile that says she’s laughing at him.


	38. Suspicions (Be careful what you wish for)

“The fuck is up with your brother’s chakra?” Madara asks Hashirama one day.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hashirama, I’m being serious—”

“I am too; Tobi would tell me if something were wrong!”

Madara stares at Hashirama from across the room. He opens his mouth to complain that _no, Tobirama doesn’t tell you everything, little brothers are sneaky like that_—when Tobirama walks in, chakra still swirling and coiling in on itself instead of how it normally feels like stillness with deep undercurrents.

It’s not unlike how some kunoichi feel when they’re—but no! There’s no possible way for that Senju demon to be pregnant! Unless he’s hiding some _serious _shit from all of them! He squints his eyes even as he cast out his chakra more to try and see if he can sense what’s wrong. The swirls get worse in his midsection, and Madara so desperately wishes that some actual, not crazy thing would pop into his head to explain this situation to him.

Maybe he could try and ask?

Madara snorts, like that would work out well. He’d walk up to Tobirama and he’d end up getting upset from whatever stupid thing that Senju says that always pushes his buttons, and then Tobirama would get upset, which would in turn make _Hashirama _upset, and that’s not something the village needs. Especially if Tobirama is keeping whatever it is a secret from Hashirama. He’s not getting tangled up in something like _that_.

So that leaves simply watching, and waiting. Belatedly, he realizes he’s been staring at Tobirama’s stomach and he makes sure to keep his scowl from twitching as he flicks his eyes up to meet Tobirama’s.

“Is there something I can help you with, or are you simply content to glare at my stomach?”

Madara bristles at being called out.

FUCK THAT ARROGANT, WHITE-HAIRED SENJU RAT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara has 0 chill, always has, always will
> 
> One could say that his inner fire burns too hot for chill :^)


	39. Reveal (Be careful what you wish for)

“TOBIRAMA!”

“I’m right here, Izuna.”

“What are you doing?”

Izuna has spent all afternoon searching for the bastard, hoping that _maybe _his lover would be willing to remind him why he loves coming home from dangerous, long-term missions, and all he’s doing is—

“Having tea, clearly.”

Izuna feels his eye twitch and he watches Mito hide a smile behind her teacup. He takes a deep breath before turning his whole focus over to Tobirama. He looks, different. Not in a bad way, different, just. Different.

Izuna doesn’t like it. He doesn’t know why Tobirama is different and Izuna’s only been gone for two weeks. Is there someone else? Had Tobirama decided that he doesn’t like Izuna anymore? Maybe—

“Izuna, would you like some tea?” Mito sharply pulls him from his increasingly terrible thoughts with a smile that says she knows exactly what he was thinking and clearly does not approve of it in _her _garden.

“N-No, I’m fine, Lady Mito.”

“Please, sit”—the unspoken _or else_ heard loud and clear—“I just need to fetch another cup.”

He grimaces and gingerly takes a seat next to Tobirama. His stomach is churning at the thought of tea but it’s not like he can refuse _Mito_, of all people. She’d find a way to emasculate him in a permanent way, if she hasn’t already done so and he just doesn’t know it yet.

“The nausea will go away soon.”

“The what now?”

Tobirama chuckles. “I didn’t believe Mito at first when she told me, but she said it passes soon enough.”

“I don’t . . . ” Izuna is so, so lost.

Tobirama arches a brow at him.

“I have no idea what you’re saying. Yes, I’m nauseous, but it’s probably from me not eating something right. Isn’t that what happened to you? Why would Mito know any more than anyone else about some mild food poisoning?”

That earns him a blank look and Tobirama’s hand comes up to—

Izuna squints his eyes, then blinks his sharingan on to make _doubly sure_ that what he’s seeing is indeed a fucking _stomach_. On _Tobirama_.

“Okay, correct me if I’m wrong”—and Izuna really, truly does _not _like the bad feeling he’s getting—“but you definitely train too much and don’t eat enough to be gaining weight. Hell, I haven’t even seen you drink sake in months.”

Tobirama takes a sip of his tea and then drops the biggest exploding tag in the world on him.

“I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what now.”

“I’m fairly certain I told you.”

“I’m fairly certain you _didn’t_!” Izuna hisses out, because what the fuck!

“Oh, well now I did. I’m also fairly certain you are now, too.”

Okay, Izuna lied. _That’s _gotta be the biggest exploding tag in the world.

“I’m a man!”

“So am I.”

“I don’t have the, the necessary parts!”

“That’s why seals exist.”

Izuna pauses to rub his face, irritated. “We’ve gone over this several times before, Tobirama. You don’t just use a seal on someone without their knowledge!”

Tobirama just shrugs, unrepentant.

“Back to the point. Pregnant?” Izuna can hardly believe it.

“Yes.”

“With mine?”

The look he gets is not entirely undeserving, but he at least would’ve liked to know that Tobirama is pregnant!

“Yes, you idiot, it’s yours. Ours.” The last word is spoken softly, and Tobirama’s hand comes back up to his stomach to cradle the gentle slope there. And boy—

“You got fat while I was away.” Izuna winces, because he didn’t necessarily mean it _like that_!

“I gained weight, as you will.”

“Oh.” Izuna had forgotten his own ailment, in the excitement. “Are you sure I am?” But even as he says it, it feels true enough.

“Very.”

“Oh.” Izuna repeats, because for all his life he hadn’t considered this, having kids, since he always, deep down, knew he favored men more. And then Tobirama happened and any small part that still whispered about _finding the right girl_ died and stayed dead. To think that he’s going to have brats of his own—!

He kisses Tobirama firmly and enthusiastically, before laughing.

“You’re pregnant!” Izuna exclaims happily.

“I’m aware.”

“He’s fucking _what_?!”

“Aniki! Tobirama! He’s pregnant! It’s mine! You’re gonna be an uncle!” Izuna turns to give his Aniki a bright smile where he’s walking towards them, Mito trailing behind.

Izuna’s not even sure if his sharingan has turned off once since he blinked it on to see Tobirama’s stomach. He’s glad it’s still on, because he’s never actually seen Aniki’s face look like it’s doing twelve different katas at once.

“Congratulations,” Mito says, even though her eyes are fixed solely on Izuna, “on the baby.”

Izuna squints his eyes at her. Of course Mito would know about Tobirama, which would in turn mean she knows about him. No wonder Tobirama was very enthusiastic with his send-off, if it was _Mito’s idea_!

“You two have to get married!” Aniki suddenly cuts in, his face finding the right kata of Concerned but Trying Not to Freak Out.

“Sure.” Izuna says, already planning on marrying Tobirama before this whole _baby _thing happened.

“Before the baby’s born!”

“Good thing the traditional clothes can be let out, then.” Tobirama says, completely unruffled at the fact that he’s been pseudo-proposed to through Madara.

The two continue talking but Izuna pauses as he gets caught on what his Aniki said. Born. _Birth_. Pregnant, which he is. Pregnant, which means he’ll _give birth_—!

Ohhh, Mito’s good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Madara: I can’t believe he’s pregnant  
Izuna: but I’m pregnant too  
Madara: now I _seriously_ need to leave this village  
Izuna: but you can’t; because then the only uncle my kids will have is _Hashirama_, and you can’t do that to them  
Madara: . . . fuck


	40. The Real Reveal (Be careful what you wish for)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Dhar_Sii, for giving me inspiration as to how the trees call everyone

There’s no way.

After all this time, all the pains they’ve shared.

Hashirama has failed his last, baby brother.

His Tobi.

His Tobi is—!

The trees whisper to him. _Is it not good that river-bubbles-rain-caller has been pollinated by ash-lightning-fire-blower?_

He wants to shout that NO, IT’S NOT GOOD!

But the trees do not understand, do nothing more than whisper that _friend-unbending-ironwood-giver-of-life and still-vast-ocean-wave-maker will bear fruit, is it not the same?_

He wants to shout that NO, IT’S NOT THE SAME!

The trees are a terrible, terrible listener, and are an even worse advice giver.

_Ash-lighting-fire-blower will bear fruit from river-bubbles-rain-caller, when will charcoal-ember-spark-giver pollinate?_

Hashirama doesn’t want to think of Madara in the same thought as Izuna and Tobirama in that light!

_Fruit from the same tree grow into similar trees. Does charcoal-ember-spark-giver not want to pollinate river-bubbles-rain-caller?_

Hashirama wants the trees to stop now, they’re not helping! He manages to make the whispers not so noticeable by finding Madara. Because—

“MADARA!”

Ahh, yes, he can’t listen to the trees’ whispers if he himself is louder than they are.

Madara yelps and looks guilty as hell, which makes Hashirama more irritated. So Hashirama pastes on his Most Wonderful Smile.

“Did you know what I just found out?” He says pleasantly.

“Nooo, what did you just—”

“My baby brother, my _Tobi_, is pregnant!” Hashirama wails as he leans on Madara for support.

Oh, whoops, he’s mad at Madara. He straightens up and looks Madara straight in the eyes.

“Did you know that _your _little brother did that to him?”

“Uh—”

“I KNEW IT! YOU KNEW ABOUT IT!” Hashirama shrieks, because Madara kept a secret from him!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—”

“I’m not dumb!” Hashirama huffs. “Sensors a tenth of your power can sense those things! When I get through with you, Izuna’s next on my list!”

“Wait—! Hashirama!” Madara rightfully flees when Hashirama snarls at him.

Hashirama takes a moment to take a deep breath and sigh. He feels much better after terrorizing—he means, injecting enough self-preservation into Madara.

Time to find Izuna~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama: Izuna!  
Izuna: oh shit please don’t hurt me, I’m pregnant  
Hashirama: . . .   
Izuna: fucking seals and shit, you know how Tobirama gets  
Hashirama: *nods in solidarity*


	41. Anticipation

Just a bit closer . . .

Nearly there . . .

Just a _little _bit closer . . .

Almost there . . .

“Izuna, you’re going to have to try much, _much _harder than that.”

Izuna does _not _emit a high-pitched shriek that’s more terror than indignation at having been caught.

He doesn’t!

That pale smug bastard hadn’t even opened his stupid smug eyes before calling him out!

“I—you were—YOU WERE ASLEEP!” Izuna flails at a still-closed-eyed Tobirama, “WHAT! I _HAD _YOU!”

“Clearly you did not.”

Oh, Izuna’s gonna wipe that smirk off that stupid pretty face—

“Mmph!”

Izuna’s wrestled beneath a very _solid _Tobirama and he wheezes from his position of being squished. Tobirama’s lips press against his face, seemingly at random.

“No! You can’t—ah!—You can’t just kiss it make it better, Senju! I’m mad at you!” Izuna curses the fact that he’s smiling, that Tobirama still hasn’t opened his eyes—!

“Are you sure? I’m sure I could find the right place to _kiss it make it better_.”

Izuna shivers at the rough, low voice. It makes his toes curl because _yes_, Izuna _very much wants_. He laments the fact that a sleepy Tobirama can so easily get his way because of that voice.

“I _suppose _I could let you try.”

The only thing stopping Izuna from actually purring when Tobirama starts up with better, more focused kisses, is that he can _feel _Tobirama’s lazy smirk against his neck.


	42. Uneasy

“I’m not sure about this.”

“You will be fine.”

“Yeah, you say that now, but I’ll literally drown.”

Izuna looks down to where the waves are just washing over his toes.

“I’m right here, and I know you know how to swim.”

Izuna snorts. “It’s not the swimming thing I have an issue with.”

“It’s just water.”

“Yeah, says the suiton user!”

Tobirama, already waist deep and further out than what Izuna would like, manages to send him a Very Displeased face.

Like Tobirama’s gonna save him in time from being dragged out to sea by a riptide and then brutally eaten by a shark or some other terrible, terrible beast that lurks in the depths! Izuna’s not even sure if he’d be able to roast the fucker with all that water around! So no, he won’t be joining Tobirama in the fucking ocean! He squints out to the dark, deep blue waves rolling in the distance.

Not this time, shark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna, your thalassophobia is showing


	43. Tradition

“Come on, it’s just a little bit of embers!”

“Izuna, they’re on fire.”

“Pssh, only a little!”

“A little—!!” Tobirama cuts himself off as he twitches, watching yet another Uchiha child scamper across the length of the burning coals.

This has got to be one of the worst clan traditions in the history of clan traditions.

And he’s not sure how much more his nerves can take.

Izuna sends Tobirama a Completely Innocent look that immediately Tobirama doesn’t like.

“I’ll make it worth your while later.”

Tobirama stares at Izuna, weighing the pros and cons. Said how it was, Tobirama could probably milk it for all its worth. And it’s not like he can’t just, coat the bottom of his feet with water to walk across the _flaming coals_. Yes, he supposes there’s no real harm in taking part in this crazy Uchiha tradition.

Sighing, he gets in the starting position, suddenly feeling quite nervous again. He shoots one last beseeching look at Izuna, who’s still smiling and nodding encouragingly. With a deep breath, he starts to mold his chakra—

“WITHOUT YOUR WATER NONSENSE, SENJU!”

Madara breaks his concentration and he shoots the other sensor a blistering glare.

There’s a few jeers and boos, but they give way easily in light of the festival, turning to cheers and chanting.

Tobirama grimaces down at the coals. Izuna better be prepared to make good on his word.


	44. Stumbling

“Ow! Shit!”

That’s _it_. This is the third time Izuna’s tripped over some misplaced piece of furniture, or plant, or whatever!

“Tobirama!”

“Yes, Izuna?”

Curse that Senju for sounding so amused! If Izuna thought he could get over to where he sounds like he’s in the doorway to the kitchen without tripping again, he’d do so in a heartbeat.

“What the fuck has happened to our house?!”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

Izuna grinds his teeth together because—“Oh, really? The new plant, the chair, the _other _chair! When did we get so many fucking CHAIRS?!”

“Hashirama came to visit.”

“Of fucking course he did.” Izuna grumbles, because really, who else would just grow new chairs and then _leave them where someone could trip over them_—

“You never minded before.”

“I was never _blind _before!” Izuna backpedals quickly. “I mean, it’s not—I don’t _regret_, but—”

It’s quiet as Izuna cuts himself off, feeling not for the first time since gifting his brother his eyes—completely out of his depth and teetering on the edge of an epic meltdown.

Gentle fingers brush his hair away from his face and he takes a shuddering breath as he leans into the contact.

“Give it time, you will adjust.”

Izuna simply nods as he allows himself to be pulled into a warm embrace.

“I was not infallible growing up, either. However, my mother was the only one who seemed to realize my . . . impairment for what it was.”

Izuna nuzzles in closer, because _wow_, clearly his chakra feels as bad as he actually feels if Tobirama is telling him about his mother.

“She was the one to teach me not to rely solely on my sensing to move around, using the techniques I’m now teaching you. You will get there.”

“Thank you, Tobirama.”

A kiss presses into the top of his head.

“Any time, Izuna.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started cutesy and fun and ended up having _feels_ and I have no idea; I didn't authorize this


	45. Tag & Seek

“I didn’t take you for the jealous type.”

“I’m not jealous.” Izuna lies easily.

His answer gets him a sidelong look.

“Sure about that?”

Izuna opens his mouth to reply hotly that _yes, yes he’s sure_, when the literal bane of his recent existence himself pops into view, slightly singed (which is pretty much the default of any Uchiha child). He tries his best to turn his grimace into at least a neutral frown. It works somewhat.

“Tobirama-sensei!”

“Kagami-kun”—Tobirama says with warmth and Izuna has to remind himself that he can’t activate his sharingan and tell the kid to _leave them the fuck alone_—“Have you found all the tags?”

Izuna does his best to both tune into the conversation (partly because he’s nosy) and tune out the annoying buzz of Kagami’s voice as he gushes to _Tobirama-sensei_.

It takes an annoyingly long amount of time for the brat to say that no, he hadn’t found all of the tags yet (that Tobirama-sensei apparently, unfairly, stuck in some hard-for-your-average-8-year-old to reach places, but Izuna’s sure that Kagami will find a way), and to race off to try and complete his task.

Tobirama chuckles, staring after his almost-not-quite student until he disappears from view. Then that red, red gaze is meeting his and his eyebrow quirks.

Izuna bristles, because he’s _not _admitting he’s jealous!

“Tags?” He inquires instead.

“Yes, most of them with inconsequential marks drawn on them, the rest primed and ready exploding tags.”

Izuna snorts, because Izuna knows what’s coming next.

“Kagami will learn how to discern exploding tags from the rest without the use of chakra, otherwise he’ll set them off.”

Izuna’s grin isn’t friendly, full of teeth as imagines poor little Kagami trying to figure out whether the tag he’s about to pick up has a little extra mark somewhere that means it’s a dud, or a different type of exploding tag. Knowing Tobirama, they’re so incredibly close to an actual exploding tag that without the sharingan it would be very, very hard to tell the difference.

(Even seeing the difference, with his sharingan, did nothing to stop Izuna from poking at the weird exploding tag he came across when he was younger and having it explode in a shower of ink. Izuna blames the Uchiha propensity to poke at stuff until something happens.)

Izuna almost pities Kagami.

Instead, he wonders what color ink will be branded into his skin for several days.


	46. Worry

“Izuna-sama?”

“Tobirama’s not here.” Izuna spits out, already irritated that his lover’s away on a mission _that he’s not also on_.

“I know that”—Kagami sidles closer to him, arms fidgeting behind his back—“I just thought you’d like some company.”

Izuna snorts. The sound is decisively bitter.

Kagami ducks his head and okay, Izuna feels a little bad taking out his annoyance on the boy. Perhaps the boy is simply feeling the loss of Tobirama as well. Sighing, he shifts a bit on the engawa, well aware he doesn’t _actually _have to, and pats the warm spot he left.

The reaction is immediate, and Kagami’s resulting smile is nearly bright enough that _he _almost smiles.

When Kagami reveals the object behind his back as he sits, he actually does smile.

(Even though he’s almost exceedingly jealous that Kagami knows Tobirama’s favorite dango flavors.)

It’s only after they’ve been sitting quietly, dango nearly finished, that Izuna realizes that Tobirama is dear to Kagami too.

(Not in the same way as Tobirama is dear to him, but dear to him all the same.)

“He’s strong, he’ll come back.”

Izuna watches as Kagami droops, sighing, and feels like doing the same.


	47. Hidden Talents

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

Izuna scoffs. “Of course I can cook; who do you think fed the Uchiha main family after my mother died? Father couldn’t cook for shit, and Madara is even worse! I mean, how does one even burn water?!”

A pause, and even as Izuna can feel the heat creep up the back of his neck, can hear Tobirama’s eyebrow lift, he resolutely keeps his focus on the food he’s putting the final touches on.

“Don’t answer that!” Izuna snaps as Tobirama opens his mouth.

“I haven’t said anything.”

“_I haven’t said anything_.” Izuna mimics in the most annoying voice he can muster as he bullies his way past the smirking Tobirama to set the table.

Izuna busies himself for the next few minutes, bustling in and out of the kitchen as he brings out dish after dish. It’s only after brushing his hands off and heading back out to sit down does he realize he set the table for two.

“Planning on company?”

“Not really; it’s habit.” Aniki is off on that stupid mission and it's been _days_. He tries to hold back the grimace that wants to form and only succeeds a little.

(It's habit, to make breakfast for his Aniki who sleeps in until the last moment possible, who rises even on a scant few hours of sleep to eat the breakfast Izuna makes before burrowing himself back to sleep longer. Izuna doesn’t even entertain the thought that he might not get those sorts of mornings any more, if his Aniki doesn’t come back this time.)

Suddenly he’s being pushed towards his seat and Tobirama is sitting down across from him, a faint blush on his cheeks as he avoids his questioning gaze.

Tobirama clears his throat. “It would be a waste; to leave the food.”

Izuna very pointedly does not correct Tobirama, and is somewhat surprised at how smooth Tobirama operates. His eyes narrow at his unexpected breakfast guest. Tobirama probably has no idea how smooth an operation he just pulled off.

(It ticks him off just a little. It ticks him off more that it actually _worked_.)

It’s well worth it to see Tobirama’s expression as he realizes that not only does Izuna cook, he cooks _well_. He watches Tobirama open his mouth and he preens and puffs up in preparation for his rival to sing his praises.

“You actually cook decently well.”

Izuna deflates. Fucking Senju, making sound like he didn’t expect the food to be good! He huffs a bit, swallowing his first bite because he’s not a heathen who talks with their mouth full.

“And I suppose you can do better, huh? Next thing you know, you’re going to tell me you can _sew _or something!”

Silence.

It makes Izuna look up from where he’s pushing a piece of omelette around to meet Tobirama’s gaze. Or, meet as much as he can given the rat bastard _still _doesn’t look at him straight on.

“You do not.”

More silence.

“Stop fucking lying!”

Tobirama simply gives him a tiny quirk of his lips that definitely means he’s laughing inside.

“_You do not_.” Izuna repeats, like saying it enough times would cause it to be true.

“It seems we both have many hidden talents.”

Izuna growls and simply points at Tobirama with his chopsticks. “Fucking eat your food, Senju!”

He then promptly shoves a too big bite of rice into his mouth and begins aggressively chewing it, reminding himself that Aniki wouldn’t forgive him for scorching the table again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled: Tobirama stops by the Uchiha residence because it's simply on the way to the tower (it's not), not because he's actually worried for his rival because Madara's late in getting back from that mission or anything (he is)
> 
> Right after the founding of the village was a trying time, even more so for the special brand of idiot Izuna and Tobirama are


	48. Psychological Warfare

“Aniki!”

“Izuna! Now’s not the time! Come on, there’s Senju to battle!”

“Anikiiii!!” Izuna wails even harder, throwing yet another robe out of his wardrobe.

“IZUNA, I’M BEING SERIOUS—” Madara cuts himself off as he slams open his bedroom door.

There’s shirts and robes strewn all across his room. Izuna’s seriously going to cry.

“What the fuck, Izuna?” Madara grumpily lifts up a shirt only to see—

“ANIKI! I DON’T KNOW WHO DID THIS—”

“Izuna.”

“—BUT WHEN I FIND THEM—”

“Izuna!”

“—I’M GOING TO TEAR THEM APART—”

“Tobirama.”

“WHERE?!” Izuna shrieks as he throws himself bodily across his room and grips the front of his sleeping yukata. “I’M INDECENT!”

“NO, YOU IDIOT!” Madara snaps as he crosses his arms. “THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS IS TOBIRAMA!”

“What.”

“Tobirama . . . probably, maybe, could possibly, have a way to be undetectable by my sensing.” Madara grumbles half under his breath.

Izuna whimpers.

“I’ll go get you one of mine.”

“What! But, Aniki, you’re like, ten centimeters taller than me! NOTHING WILL FIT!” Izuna shouts the last bit so Madara, who’s already down the hall and in his bedroom, could hear him.

“I DON’T CARE!” Aniki stomps back to his room and throws a robe at him. “ROLL UP THE SLEEVES OR SOMETHING—_LET’S GO_!”

Izuna cries, but dutifully puts on the offered robe.

(Regrettably, he does have to roll up the sleeves, lest they get caught on his sword.)

Izuna will make sure that stupid Senju pays for what he did! He’s not sure how that rat bastard snuck into his bedroom, found _all _of the articles of clothing with the uchiwa on them, and then _stitched the Senju crest over all of them_, but Amaterasu as his witness, Izuna _will _make him bleed for it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 cm is roughly 4 inches
> 
> Izuna's too flustered to even think about taunting Tobirama for being able to stitch, ahaha~
> 
> OMAKE  
Tobirama: nice shirt, expecting a growth spurt?  
Izuna: *flailing because a sleeve rolled down on him* fuck you, Senju! D:<
> 
> OMAKE  
Madara: Hashirama, tell your brother that what he did was fucking perfect  
Madara: A+ execution  
Hashirama: ??? what did he do?  
Madara: God's work C:<  
Hashirama: <:3c?


	49. Porcelain Doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Lilili_cat

“Pretty.”

Izuna blushes and tries his best to _not_.

“So, so pretty.” Tobirama continues to whisper in his ear as his hands trail up his arms, his sides, his back.

Normally Izuna would find the compliment offending; he’s not some civilian hime whose only purpose is to look appealing.

Normally Izuna isn’t wearing a furisode sewn by Tobirama.

He casts a glance up at Tobirama when he steps back and does his best to smirk despite the warm, bubbly stirring inside his chest.

“Like what you see?” It comes out too breathless for Izuna’s liking, but it rewards him a deep blush on Tobirama’s face.

“Very much so.”

At the honest confession, Izuna ducks his head, smiling. Perhaps not something he’d wear very often, but he does actually feel quite pretty in this. Tobirama tied the obi tightly, however, intentional or otherwise (and Izuna suspects otherwise; Tobirama’s hands were very nearly trembling as he slid the silk over him), and Izuna’s sure the faintness he’s experiencing is lack of oxygen.

“Time to take this off me, then?”

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet.”

Tobirama grips the front of his obi and tugs Izuna closer. Izuna wheezes. The glint in Tobirama’s eyes makes his simmering arousal throughout the—strangely intimate—dressing roar and spiral. He kisses Tobirama back hard, and breaks the kiss to gasp for breath that’s denied him through the tightly wound obi.

Izuna’s starting to doubt whether the tightness is accidental as Tobirama pulls Izuna down on top of his lap.

(Izuna can’t deny it feels like he’s surrounded by Tobirama, being hugged by him, even as he’s on top of him.)

A pale hand works it’s way underneath the layers he’s wearing and Izuna whimpers, words long forgotten.

If this is how Izuna is to go, at least he’ll die happy.


	50. Backfire

“Madara, are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Everything is JUST. FINE.”

Everything is _not _fine; his eye twitches just _thinking _about the scene he walked into earlier this morning. Madara found _Tobirama _in Izuna’s bed. While Izuna was in it. And there certainly wasn’t enough clothing on them to be considered _decent_.

Madara sends another scathing glare at the top of Tobirama’s head where it’s bowed over some paperwork. The least the stupid rat bastard could do is fucking acknowledge his glare!

His glare narrows as he spots a quick tick at the corner of Tobirama’s mouth.

That’s it.

“Fucking Senju.” He growls lowly, well aware that Hashirama’s flitting closer to him now, crossing the office.

“That would be your brother’s job, if memory serves.”

“Prick! Stay away from Izuna!” Madara doesn’t care if half the village hears him, hell, he’d be _glad _if half the village hears him!

“Tobi?”

Tobirama sighs, and Madara counts it as a victory. Because now _Hashirama _is worried. Hah! Let’s see that stupid albino Senju get out of this!

“Anija—”

“Tobi! What did you do?”

“Seeing as peace between the Uchiha is something I know you’ve longed for—”

“Otouto?”

“—I’ve simply taken the liberty—”

“_Taken liberties_!” Madara hisses under his breath.

“—of getting to know my rival better outside of battle and fighting.”

“Oh, really?” Hashirama perks up. “That’s incredible, Tobi! I’m so happy! What have you been doing, then?”

“I’ve been sleeping with Izuna.”

Madara waits expectantly. Surely that big tree will finally kick Tobirama’s ass for doing _that _with Izuna. He watches as Hashirama’s painfully cheerful expression morphs into unadulterated, blinding delight. Then Hashirama launches at Tobirama, pulling him into a fierce hug that Tobirama simply allows. Madara’s so, so confused.

Madara hopes Tobirama’s ribs get crushed regardless.

“What better way to get to know someone than to sleep side-by-side with them, just like we used to do growing up!”

Tobirama sends him a knowing look over Hashirama’s shoulder.

Madara stifles his scream of frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama is an idiot, a big stupid fat ignorant idiot. He’d probably think Tobirama and Izuna were wrestling naked, if he ever walked in on them.
> 
> As it is, Tobirama knows how to play his older brother like a fiddle; Madara really should know better~ ;3c


	51. Misdirection

“I can’t feel my legs.”

Izuna makes a sound of protest as Tobirama attempts to lift him off his lap.

Izuna clings harder.

Tobirama huffs but ultimately leaves him.

“We can’t stay like this forever.”

Scowling, Izuna swats Tobirama’s shoulder. “Way to ruin the mood.”

“This is hardly the first time I’ve mentioned that when we’re on a training field, the amount of post-coital cuddling must be close to non-existent.”

“Yes, well,” Izuna huffs and bobbles his head as he decides whether or not taunting Tobirama while he’s still inside him is a good idea. Probably not. “This is the hardly the first time neither one of our brothers has come to make sure we don’t kill each other.”

“You’re welcome.”

Izuna gives in and bites the exposed part of Tobirama’s neck, pulling back just as a hiss comes out to lave his tongue over the new, blooming mark.

“At least now we can have sex without either one bursting in on us because ‘_our chakra felt weird_.’”

“Mmm, that is true.” Tobirama’s hands are idly rubbing at his waist, and all Izuna can really think about is wanting them to grip and pull him down while Tobirama grinds up and yes, _yes please_.

He’s kneading Tobirama’s back and shoulders, his neck—anywhere, really—that Izuna can reach in attempts to spur his boyfriend into another amorous mood. He starts to whimper and twitch his hips down, trying his best to keep Tobirama inside.

Those long, strong fingers _grip _and Izuna keens.

“Wh-Where are our brothers?”

Tobirama chuckles. “Do you really care?”

Izuna pauses. “Not really.”

“Well, they’re still in the Tower, thanks to our long-running misdirection.”

“Hmm?” Izuna’s really not paying much attention to what Tobirama’s saying anymore. Not since Izuna can feel Tobirama twitch inside him, not since Tobirama’s hips are matching his small thrusts with equal force, not since those fingers are dancing across his exposed skin.

“Are you ready for round two of our afternoon spar, Izuna?”

“_Fuck, yes_.” Izuna hisses and shivers as all that really registers is the husky tone of voice Tobirama used.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama, pulling through with a plan that means he can sex his man _anytime, any place_~~ (sans annoying, overprotective older brothers)
> 
> OMAKE  
Madara: they're at it again  
Hashirama: again?! they had a really long, drawn-out argument last night, though! D:>  
Madara: wait a minute  
Hashirama: at least they've moved past their trying to kill each other phase~! :D  
Madara: yeah . . . that's . . . good?  
Hashirama: Madara~! we should spar too~~ :D :D :D  
Madara: GET THE FUCK OFF ME! NO! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!


	52. Prepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand back to porn :D

Izuna blinks as his fingers meet the warmed and smooth base of _something_. Breaking their kiss, he pulls back just enough to send Tobirama a curious look. His gaze is shyly met, and Tobirama’s blush is deep enough that his tattoos are nearly overpowered.

“I, ah”—Tobirama licks his lips—“wanted to be prepared.”

Izuna’s brain sputters.

“You, ‘wanted to be prepared’? In case I, what, decided to sequester you off into a small, cramped, dark closet in the Hokage Tower even before checking in with Hashirama about the details of the mission—a success, spoiler—and have my filthy, dirty way with you upon my immediate return?”

“Precisely.” Tobirama sounds a bit breathless. Maybe it’s because Izuna’s gently feeling out the base of the plug inside him.

(_Fuck_, Tobirama is twitching _so much_—)

Izuna hums as his brain kicks back into gear, reminding him sharply of the tightness of his pants.

“And how is it, that you’re stretched open right now, when I know my mission scroll estimated I’d be back in another day and a half?”

Tobirama keens as Izuna pulls the plug out just a bit, cutting off whatever sort of answer he was planning on giving.

Izuna has no time for answers, not right now.

No, right now, all he has time for is pulling the _holy shit what the fuck where the fuck did Tobirama get one this size_—

Whimpering, and feeling like he may have just cum a bit in his pants, Izuna takes a moment to watch Tobirama’s hole twitch as it gapes open, before holding up the plug to a very, truly red face.

“What the fuck.” Now Izuna sounds a bit breathless. Maybe it’s because all of his blood is pooling in his dick.

He works himself out of his pants faster than he ever has before and slides into Tobirama in a single, smooth move.

Whatever Tobirama’s answer was going to be, it’s now a moan (that he matches), and has been put on the back burner until Izuna finishes fucking them both stupid.


	53. Miniature (honey I shrunk myself)

Izuna lifts his head at the small pop and flash of light he’s come to associate with Tobirama using that weird jutsu that he nearly got skewered by.

There’s no one around.

Izuna squints his eyes, fiddling with the brush in his hand.

Hm.

Maybe his brain just decided to fuck with him. Entirely likely.

Maybe his beloved is actually trying something new and is the cause of this weird happenstance. More likely.

He stands up, sharingan active as he tentatively steps away from his desk where he thinks he heard the sound.

“Watch it!”

Izuna freezes, foot mid-air, as his beloved’s voice sounds out in _that _tone of voice.

(Izuna still hasn’t forgotten the last time he heard it: he’d gone in search of Tobirama in his lab and ended up with bright purple eyebrows. _Just_ his eyebrows. For _three weeks_.)

“Tobirama?”

Izuna barely hears the sigh. His eyes slowly trail across the room, trying to figure out—

“Oh my gods, Tobirama!” He can’t help but smile as he places his foot down (and very much away) from his husband’s now much, much smaller form.

Kneeling, he holds out his hand and while Tobirama huffs, he still steps onto his hand.

It’s entirely too adorable to feel Tobirama’s cute, tiny body squish into his fingers to latch on when he moves. And because Izuna still has no self-preservation even after years of Tobirama trying to beat it into him, he opens his mouth.

“Oh~ Look at you~! You’re so _tiny _and _cute_! You’re probably as long as my—ow!”

“Ah, good, it seems I still have nearly my original strength, given how easy it was to break your finger.”

Izuna pouts at his pint-sized husband.


	54. Perfectly Palm Sized (honey I shrunk myself)

“Do I need to—_hah_—break another finger of yours?”

Izuna smirks as Tobirama valiantly tries to avoid his fingers. It really doesn’t help him that Izuna’s tugging gently on his clothes and hair.

And his dear, sweet, tiny husband is squirming! _Squirming!_ Getting all flustered, and his swats at Izuna’s fingers are only half-hearted, at best. (There hasn’t been any more broken fingers, so Izuna’s taking that as a go-ahead.)

One might think that Tobirama enjoys being manhandled so.

(Izuna _knows _that Tobirama enjoys being manhandled so.)

So Izuna continues playing with Tobirama like a cat would a mouse, succeeding in getting Tobirama all flustered and blushing. A finger rubbing between Tobirama’s legs makes him nearly collapse over Izuna’s hand. Izuna’s dick twitches at the hot, small pants of air that tickle his palm.

Suddenly, Tobirama bites his palm, and it’s only a faint prick of pain, but it’s accompanied by a muffled groan. All that Izuna’s left with is a puddle of perfectly-palm-sized Tobirama in his hand.

Izuna desperately needs to go deal with his hard-on, and looking at Tobirama in his hand and imagining just, wrapping his hand around his dick, Tobirama there, braced by his hand and wrapped around it—

Maybe giving his husband one more orgasm will make him pliant and willing enough to try it. Like this, Izuna could wrap his entire mouth around _everything _of Tobirama’s—

Izuna has never scurried off to their bedroom faster.


	55. Mission (Mission)

Hashirama re-reads the scroll handed to him.

“What.” He repeats, voice low and chakra stirring.

The messenger bows deeply. “That’s what Izuna-sama wrote, Hokage-sama!”

Hashirama’s chakra spikes again. He takes a deep breath, and then mentally tells the trees to fuck off as their oh so helpful commentary isn’t needed right now.

(Although, the firs make a good point that he probably should burn the rot in the village; he just doesn’t approve of who they say is rotten.)

Dismissing the messenger (who is more than willing to leave the room that’s suddenly filled with vines), Hashirama slumps back into his chair, defeated.

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sounds being the faint _shhh _of the vines creeping away, the cracks and pops of the warped desk and floor righting themselves.

Another moment of silence passes.

Madara breaks it gently, unsure. “Is . . . everything alright?”

It’s a dumb question, because clearly everything is _not _alright, but Madara really has no idea how to handle this situation.

And then Hashirama’s popping out of his chair, flying over the room to cling to him and Madara regrets everything.

“Oh, Madara!” Hashirama wails oh so loudly right next to his ear. “Tobi got caught in some strange genjutsu and is attacking Izuna!”

Madara laments his hearing, and his ribcage, because _ow_.

“Hashirama, they were equals on the battlefield; they’ll both be alright.” Madara would like to think so, especially since Tobirama has never truly been caught and _kept _in a genjutsu for very long.

Hashirama perks up, and Madara’s ribs cry out in relief as the bone-crunching assault ends.

Madara needs to have a serious conversation with Izuna when they get back.


	56. Excuses (Mission)

“Think they’ll buy it?” Izuna pants out as Tobirama pushes him against the door of their inn room to kiss him.

“I’ll sense if they send someone to come and ‘rescue’ you.”

Hands run under clothing and it’s a small miracle all their clothes come off without ripping.

“Oh, fuck—Tobirama!”

Izuna shakes as Tobirama lifts him up effortlessly and follows him down onto the soft, plush bed.

“I’m going to ride you _so hard_, Izuna.”

Izuna keens as his ear is nibbled on. He pulls Tobirama’s hips down and strokes both of them, blood whooshing in his ears loudly but he can still hear Tobirama’s long moan.

“Aniki’s going to have my head; I think he’s figured it out.”

Tobirama snorts. “I’d have questioned his mental capacities if he hadn’t, by now. Our excuses have become pretty blatant.”

Izuna hums, because it probably means he’s going to get tossed into Aniki’s newly built koi pond when they get back.

“Less talking, more touching.” Izuna punctuates his statement by gripping Tobirama’s hips and pulling him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly Hashirama clings harder to his ignorance than Madara~
> 
> OMAKE  
Madara: give me a good reason not to  
Izuna: because you love me? (´▽`ʃƪ)♡  
Madara, whose ribs are still bruised: *throws Izuna into the koi pond* NOT GOOD ENOUGH D:<


	57. Hot and Dangerous (hot and dangerous)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, poorasdirt~

Izuna falters.

Oh, oh fuck.

Tobirama—he!—

“Cat got your tongue, Uchiha?” Tobirama taunts and—

Izuna suppresses a whimper at the faint traces of blood he can see coating his rival’s lips and teeth. How had he never seen how utterly and devastatingly hot his rival is?

Oh, oh no.

This is not good.

He risks a look towards his Aniki, desperately hoping that either he or that tree bastard are about to call a retreat.

Grimacing as he watches the two exchange blows, he realizes that a retreat’s not going to happen right now.

Well.

Izuna refocuses on his rival, and firmly closes his lips around the sounds desperate to get out. His lips turn into a snarl as Tobirama raises his eyebrow.

Fucking Senju!

Tobirama wipes the back of his hand against his mouth, smearing the red further up his cheek.

Oh shit, he’s still so hot.

Izuna’s sharingan registers that Tobirama’s hand clenches around his sword just a fraction tighter, in preparation of a strike.

Oh _shit_, he’s still coming at me, Izuna thinks and then raises his own sword, parrying the blow.

His mouth goes dry as this close, Izuna can see all of that stupidly pretty (and dangerous) face. The bright red standing out against that pale (oh so pale) skin.

Izuna’s never been as grateful for a retreat in his entire life.


	58. Confused (hot and dangerous)

Izuna gasps for air. His ribs hurt like a motherfucker and he’d honestly be very surprised if they weren’t all cracked. The trees swim in his vision and Izuna once again curses his stupid ass luck.

Why is it always _his _missions that wind up being the ones with bad intel?

Fucking Senju.

Yeah, the Senju probably target him, knowing what he means to Aniki.

Figuring out who to assign blame to gives Izuna something other to think about than the pain blooming over his chest and his cheek.

Fuck, that scratch on his cheek is probably how he got poisoned.

Stupid poison.

Fucking Senju.

Ugh, now Izuna’s thinking about that last battle, where Tobirama _licked his own bleeding scratch on his arm_. Like that’s just a thing he does. Like what the fuck.

Izuna’s dizzy, and he’s not sure now if it’s just entirely the poison.

Rustling in the bushes next to him makes him pause and palm a kunai. Fuck anyone who thinks he’s going down without a fight!

A squirrel pops out of the bushes when Izuna throws his kunai (that spectacularly misses) at it.

Sighing, Izuna really needs to—

“FUCK!”

Izuna’s sort of glad he threw the kunai, otherwise he would have impaled himself as he grips his chest in terror. And wouldn’t that have been a way to go.

The vision of his rival looks as unimpressed as ever.


	59. Unsure (hot and dangerous)

Izuna’s not sure why his brain decided to conjure up Tobirama’s image, but in case Izuna hasn’t thought it in the past minute:

Fucking Senju.

(Obviously this is a poison-induced vision, because he’d be dead otherwise. The White Devil would never allow such a prime opportunity to cut him down go.)

Vision Tobirama sighs, like it’s _his _fault that he’s here and—

Well, shit. It _is _his fault.

But Izuna’s not going to take any shit from Tobirama, even if it’s his own brain doing it!

Why him? Why now? Why can’t something go completely right for him just _once _in his life?

Izuna’s aware he’s rambling out loud as he shuffles his steps closer to home. Because Tobirama vision or not, he still needs to drag his ass far enough for Aniki to sense him, at the least.

The soft moss feels amazing—

Why is he sitting on moss? Why is that stupid vision of Tobirama getting closer?

Fucking _Sage_, why couldn’t it be Aniki his brain decided needed to make sure he gets up and hauls his ass back home?

(Probably because Izuna ignores Aniki when he gets screechy, which is the only way his brain would manifest him. Maybe he should be thankful it’s simply his reticent rival.)

Izuna nods sagely.

Blinking his eyes back open that he doesn’t remember shutting, it’s to see his rival much, much closer than expected, a hand reaching out towards his face. He can’t help but to flinch back a bit.

(He’s _poisoned_; his responses can be a bit less controlled than usual.)

That makes Tobirama pause, which makes Izuna pause, little warning bells starting to go off in the back of his brain. But then that pale hand is pressed against the side of his face, opposite the poisoned cut and it’s . . . honestly much _softer _than he’d imagined it would be. Wow, so his brain is now resorting to surprising itself in order to keep him going in his hour of need. Spectacular.

Then Tobirama’s face comes even closer, and the unease grows exponentially inside him. Something wet touches his cheek and Izuna reaches up (because he remembers he can) to stop this vision Tobirama from—from _licking_ his cut!

His wrist is gripped in that other too soft hand and Izuna can only sit there and wince as Tobirama licks his cheek, little pauses in between strokes where his tongue curls back into that mouth and—

Izuna nearly whimpers. He hates his brain for conjuring up this Tobirama who has too soft hands and a too hot tongue.

(Izuna would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of something similar to this, after the last battle. Curse his brain and sharingan memory!)

After what feels like hours, vision Tobirama finally backs up, a smirk firmly in place.

“A patrol isn’t that far off in that direction”—Vision Tobirama points—“You should start walking.”

And between one long blink and the next, Izuna’s left staring at nothing. His brain hurts, and his chest hurts, but surprisingly his cheek _doesn’t_.

Izuna can’t even begin to process what the fuck just happened.

“Fucking Senju.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As poorasdirt wrote: Izuna would probably lose it if Tobirama came up with a way to disinfect a wound with water, but figures out how to use his saliva and licks Izuna's wound


	60. The Start (hot and dangerous)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning more of this storyline, but it's hit me in the head so here we are C:
> 
> Enjoy some Tobirama POV

Uchiha are dumb, Tobirama thinks, and slow.

At least, all the ones he’s met so far have been.

(It’s a trend now, with as many data points as he has.)

It holds true until he winds up face to face with Uchiha Izuna on the river. He’ll never admit it, but he introduces the other out of sheer panic. Because somewhere in the very back of his brain, as he stares at a face he can place the name to, goes _mine_.

(Tobirama’s sure that the Uchiha would see being compared to a mewling kitten barely able to stand as an insult but . . . the Uchiha _does _set off the same sort of reaction; adorable, if slightly pathetic.)

Maybe it’s the mulish expression set on a face too round, with a too thick upper lip, nothing like how his own face, even with some baby fat left, looks _dangerous_. Izuna’s face looks nearly angelic in comparison.

Perhaps it’s the fact that even as they grow, and clash blades against each other each battle, that little feeling in the back of his head grows stronger.

If Tobirama casts his senses out to really feel the myriad emotions that are shown through that _wispy-smoke-and-lightning_ chakra, well, no one truly has to know how often.


	61. Curious (hot and dangerous)

After the last battle where Tobirama, on instinct, licked clean his scratch on his arm, he’s been thinking about his rival’s face as it happened.

Izuna had faltered.

(Izuna never falters; the fact he did so for _Tobirama _makes him preen.)

He certainly never thought that his water healing technique would garner such a reaction.

(Saliva, Tobirama found, is much more readily available than pulling water from the air, and given how it comes from his own body, he’s had much more success healing his own wounds through it.)

So Tobirama does what any good scientist does: tries to take it a step further.

Within the last few weeks, he’s been able to test his healing on Anija and Touka, with resounding success. Except for that one incident that still causes Tobirama to blush just thinking about.

(It’s well and truly _not _Tobirama’s fault that his saliva takes on a tingling sensation, but it was interesting to note the, ah, unique reaction when it lands on certain places.)

Anija made him promise not to lick-heal anyone after that incident. Tobirama stubbornly chose to ignore him and focused his newest tests with Touka, who, upon learning what exactly she signed up for, simply sighed.

Tobirama leans back in his chair as he ponders his latest trail of thoughts on his technique. Poison. Specifically, extracting poison at little to no risk of it harming himself.

Frustrated at his lack of progress, Tobirama finds himself doing what he normally does while feeling upset: casting out his senses and searching for that one signature that always dances so prettily and shifts and slides with the barest of changes in emotion.

Ah, there Izuna is—Tobirama’s brow furrows as he picks up the sluggish and _painpain**pain**_—

Tobirama’s out the door before he even realizes it.


	62. Friendly Encounter (hot and dangerous)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty much the other side of chapter 58 and 59 :D

“FUCK!”

Tobirama very, very carefully doesn’t move as he watches his rival grip his chest. An injured shinobi can still be a dangerous shinobi. Upon looking closer, Tobirama notes that Izuna truly doesn’t look well.

(His chakra spilling out in painful ripples attests to that fact.)

So Tobirama helps Izuna sit down, knowing that a sitting shinobi is a slightly more controlled shinobi, but with how Izuna’s mumbling and his eyes are unfocused, Tobirama would bet his left sandal that Izuna’s not completely aware right now.

After all, the worst thing Izuna’s said to him since showing up was cursing him for . . . being so hot?

(Tobirama still has a faint blush because Izuna’s the pretty one, though Tobirama’s not sure if saying so would cause insult, so he remains silent.)

More thought required on that, but for now, Tobirama pushes it all to the back of his mind. He needs to focus on the present situation, which is that Izuna’s got one hell of a nasty poisoned wound. He sets his jaw and leans closer.

Izuna flinches.

Tobirama pauses, watching Izuna carefully as he finishes leaning closer and then finally when his tongue meets Izuna’s cheek.

The flailing arm is easy enough for Tobirama to catch as he begins to draw out the poison in slow, mindful swipes of his tongue.

Regrettable, really, that he must metabolize the poison instead of him figuring out how to—

Ah.

Who says he must ingest the poison after drawing it out? If he simply creates a—yes, a barrier of saliva that could contain the poison in a pocket he creates on one side of his mouth, to be spit out later—

Tobirama could almost kiss Izuna, for being the catalyst for an answer that’s been stumping him for many days. Seeing as he’s already licking Izuna’s face, however, Tobirama will take what he can get.

Afterwards, and in thanks, Tobirama manages to point Izuna in the direction of the nearest patrol he can feel.


	63. Embarrassment (Personal)

Izuna’s not sure how much more of this he can take.

“Excuse me, but did you just ask me if I preferred _virgins _over, ah, more experienced partners?!” Izuna shrieks.

Tobirama has, for the last couple of battles, been in the practice of asking him the most random, and quite _personal_, questions. It’s bad enough that topics always include some manner of indecencies and generally stomp all over social niceties, but it gets worse because Tobirama is _serious _about the questions!

There’s a strike to his—apparently unprotected—right flank that’s definitely going to bruise and fuck!

“Are you dumb now, as well?”

Izuna grits his teeth as he parries another blow while vehemently ignoring the rising blush on his face.

“Need me to repeat myself?”

“NO! PLEASE DON’T!”

Tobirama pauses, and Izuna sees the telltale glint in his eyes that means he’s about to get serious and oh _Sage _the scar has just healed from the last time—!!

“I DON’T CARE!” Izuna lies, but puts as much emphasis on the words as he can.

(He very much cares—the clan as a whole don’t go around just, just sleeping with people!)

FUCK!

The sharp (very sharp, ow) side of Tobirama’s blade bites harshly into his side and if that’s not a fucking pout on Tobirama’s face then Izuna would eat his own pants.

(It doesn’t really look that much different than his regular stupid face, but Izuna’s very, _very _good at picking up the micro-expressions that Tobirama probably does on purpose—the bastard!)

“I can tell when you’re lying, Izuna. You should answer me truthfully now.”

Whatever blood that’s not trying to leave him through that slash (that’s definitely going to scar, wow if that’s not insanely hot, the skill Tobirama displays by casually scarring him) instantly floods his face. The result leaves him a lot lightheaded and he tries not to openly gape at Tobirama.

“Virgins! Okay?! Why on earth would anyone sleep with anyone they don’t truly love?! That’s not just something you do—” Izuna cuts himself off because in his embarrassment he’d forgotten that he rambles when socially pressured severely, and he’d say he’s being pressured _quite _severely right now.

His tiny, small—insignificant, really—crush on the deadly man that’s his rival has nothing to do with exactly how embarrassed he is. None whatsoever.

(And this is why Aniki says he’s a lousy pushover when it comes to his rival. Which is easy for Aniki to say, since he always says it from the edge of the koi pond _after _he’s been thrown in it.)

Tobirama pauses long enough to give him a considering noise and a vaguely surprised look (oh _great_), before Aniki and that tree bastard are upon them, calling a retreat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama, this is probably not a method of exchanging cultures that Hashirama would approve of.


	64. No More (Personal)

This is it. This is as much as Izuna can take.

If he ends up coming out of this alive, he’ll not only support peace, he’ll beg Aniki. Seriously.

“I’m bored.”

Izuna thunks his head into the tree trunk he’s tied to. “Clearly you’re not.”

Tobirama hums noncommittally.

Izuna knows better than to close his eyes, but he allows them to fall half-mast as he watches his rival crouch in front of him.

“Not anymore, I’m not.” And Tobirama smirks, a slow thing.

“You—bastard!” Izuna snarls and thrashes again, if only to try and keep Tobirama away that last, scant space between them.

It only works marginally, but it still works.

“So, Izuna, while we’re both stuck here—”

“WHAT! YOU’RE NOT STUCK HERE! FUCK OFF SENJU! TYING ME TO A FUCKING TREE—”

“I have a question for you.”

Izuna immediately quiets down, not because he really wants to, but, well . . . Tobirama doesn’t like to repeat his questions just because Izuna was ‘being disruptively loud and was unable to hear him the first time’.

(Izuna learned that lesson rather quickly, when all of his clothes ended up making him break out in a rash. Izuna’s still not sure how Tobirama did it, but considering it happened three times after Izuna failed to show a modicum of interest in Tobirama’s questioning, Izuna’s pretty fucking sure the stupid Senju is behind it.)

Grimacing at the faint (and cute, Sage dammit) smile that Tobirama graces him with at the silence, Izuna waits.

“Do you prefer men, or women?”

“You tell me, since you seem to know everything.” Izuna sasses back before he can stop himself.

(Again, this is why Aniki says he should just get his mouth sewn shut when going off to battle his rival. He’ll hear the same speech _again _while coming out of the koi pond . . . _again_.)

Tobirama clearly takes his statement as an invitation to creep closer, and _oh_, Izuna hopes Tobirama can’t hear how hard and fast his heart is beating. Especially since Tobirama has _that _smirk on his face—the one that makes his face look even more angular and—

“I think you prefer _dangerous_.” Tobirama says as he leans even closer.

Izuna can’t be faulted if a tiny (the tiniest) whimper escapes his lips. Not when faced with Tobirama in all his pointed interested glory.

Tobirama's cheeks puff up (not adorable in any way) and then a—dare Izuna think it, gentle—stream of water soaks him.

Sputtering, Izuna manages to shake off the water that _Tobirama spat at him _only to find himself alone.

Still tied to the tree.

“FUCKING SENJU!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, Izuna sure loves getting wet :D
> 
> (whether from Aniki's koi pond or his rival's water, Izuna is simply always _wet_~~)


	65. Wet (Personal)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara is Done™ and Izuna can’t catch a break

“So help me Amaterasu, if the next words out of your mouth even _hint _at Tobirama, you’re going into the koi pond.”

Izuna closes his mouth as his gaze slides off to the left.

“In-_fucking_-credible.” Aniki mutters and rubs his face. “Without saying anything, was your mission at least a success?”

Izuna nods, extra enthusiastically so water ends up flinging off his hair.

“Great, then get the fuck out before you start a river in here.”

Izuna smiles brightly at his Aniki while leaving, gleefully hearing the grumbled “couldn’t even fucking towel off a bit” before closing the door behind him.

It’s a nice day out, he could just sit out on the engawa and dry off. Yes. This has nothing to do with actually drying off and everything to do with the fact that the water Izuna’s currently dripping in won’t dry off for at least another day—or so Tobirama said.

(Izuna’s not sure he can really trust it to be only a single day. Knowing his rival, and how utterly smug he looked, it’s more than likely going to be at least another two days.)

The mission, a simple courier one, yet lead through more treacherous terrain and weather, led Izuna to seek shelter in a cave which, apparently, his rival also sought out. Which led to the dilemma of whether or not they fought each other while they were both sopping wet.

(Okay, _Izuna _was soaked through, princess water fairy wasn’t _at all_—and because Izuna definitely has at least _some_ self-preservation instinct, he knew better than to pick a fight with _Tobirama _in a fucking hurricane.)

So, naturally, the night was spent in uneasy silence as Tobirama seemed to be thinking harder than usual, which made Izuna twitchy.

And since Izuna was already feeling terrible because he was wet and Tobirama was _not_—he may have gotten a little snappish with his rival.

Which meant that Izuna got the Look That Brings 10,000 Years of Pain and any fatigue instantly vanished, leaving Izuna twitchy, wet, quiet, and in full dread mode.

(Izuna foolishly thought Tobirama had let his mean comment go, when Tobirama asked him whether he prefers to be on top or bottom during sex. And Izuna, ever the fool, had quickly latched onto the new topic, eager, if embarrassed.)

So here Izuna is, completely wet and just on this side of cool so as not to get him sick, but still yearn for a blanket. Even though he answered completely truthfully without even _attempting _to bullshit, too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when your not-boyfriend answers your question so nicely but you still have to punish him so you create a jutsu while sitting in a cave next to him all night


	66. Subject (Personal)

Izuna very carefully does not tense up. Even without turning his head, he knows who’s behind him, knows whose hands are braced on the table on either side of him, knows the large, hard, _hot _figure that’s pressing against his back.

Fuck.

He shakily swallows as Tobirama’s mouth gets right up next to his ear and Izuna doesn’t want to think what sort of picture they make, pressed up against the table as they are. If Izuna stretches his hearing, he can just make out Aniki cursing at Hashirama. They’re going to be here, in this room, talking the cease-fire and future plans, and Izuna knew it was a bad idea to arrive early.

He doesn’t close his eyes when Tobirama starts speaking, but it’s a near thing.

“So, Izuna”—dear _Sage_, Tobirama’s voice is going to feature in his dreams for the next couple nights _at least_—“I have a question for you.”

Always with the questions—!

“Why,” Izuna croaks, swallows to try and wet his dry throat, and tries again. “Why are you always asking me so many questions?”

It comes out a hiss, due to how quiet he’s pitching his voice. Aniki and Hashirama are getting closer and the very last thing he wants is for them to come into the room and see them like this. His heart is racing and a small unbidden shiver works its way through him.

(A part of Izuna desperately wants them to find them like this, see how Tobirama’s all but trying to work his way into him. Aniki’s face would be _priceless_.)

“I find you to be my favorite specimen of study.” Tobirama’s hands move slowly, and Izuna watches as they grip his upper arms and slide up towards his shoulders.

The touch is light, is gentle, is nearly reverent and Izuna has nowhere near enough brain cells to spare to dissect the motion because it’s still trying to process the _favorite specimen of study_ part.

“Tell me, do you prefer to sleep in a yukata, or in the nude?”

Izuna gapes, but Tobirama’s backing off of him, taking a few steps away and crossing his arms in his signature way. Just in time, too, because Aniki and Hashirama finally turn into the room.

Tobirama doesn’t approach Izuna again, even as the talks conclude and they’re dismissed for the evening.

Izuna’s got a bad feeling about this.


	67. Unexpected (Personal)

Izuna wakes up in darkness, surrounded by walls not his own and promptly flips out for a few moments. That is, until he realizes that he’s not chained up or otherwise restrained. Huh.

That’s right, he’s in a guest room. On Nara land. Because there’s peace talks. Right.

An owl hoots.

So what woke him up?

He wants to activate his sharingan, but he probably shouldn’t unless he really thinks his life is at risk, because they explicitly went over that point yesterday. That the sharingan stays inactive while the talks are going on. The Nara had really good, logical reasons, and Madara had scowled a little more at them, but ultimately agreed.

Izuna doesn’t want to get thrown in the koi pond that he saw (and gave a wide berth to) on their way in if this turns out to be something inconsequential.

“So it is a sleep yukata.”

A hand gets slapped over his mouth just as his screech builds up and Izuna jerks himself around to face—

“_Tobirama_!” Izuna hisses as he bats the hand off his face, trying to remind himself to _breathe _because fucking Senju!

(The fact that Tobirama’s hand covered pretty much all of the lower half of his face shouldn’t be so _hot_, it shouldn’t!)

“Of course it’s a sleep yukata! You think I would sleep nude here?!”

Tobirama raises his hand again in a clear way that makes Izuna lower his volume again.

“You would be a creep and come in while I was asleep to check, you bastard!” Izuna whisper yells.

“You’re awake now, I fail to see the issue.”

“Fail to see—?!” Izuna sputters and flails.

Sage, to think Izuna has at least another week of this. He’s really going to kill Tobirama. That, or he’s going to spontaneously self-combust. He’s not sure which one would be better.

“I happen to have another question for you.”

Izuna gives his darkest glare he can in his current state, hair sleep mussed and eyes still deactivated.

“And you have to ask me it _now_?” Izuna’s going to pretend that sounded a lot more annoyed and less petulant than it actually did.

Tobirama seems to glow at his question, small smile coming out, and the image that Izuna thinks of is a kid getting served a box of dango all for themselves.

Fucking Senju.

Izuna waits, annoyed.

After another beat of silence, Izuna finally works up enough energy to speak. “What’s your quest—”

“May I kiss you?”

This is a dream. A terrible, terrible dream—no—nightmare, fueled by the fact that Tobirama is just on the other side of the Nara compound.

But . . .

Tobirama inches himself closer, nearly on top of the futon.

“You do know what you’re asking for, right?” Izuna says hesitantly, because Uchiha don’t do casual, and if Tobirama wants Izuna solely for experimentation—

Tobirama scoffs, cutting off his trail of thoughts. “Of course. I know I’m not asking in the traditional way of either of our clans, but traditions aren’t meant for everyone.”

Izuna raises his eyebrows at that and actually stops and thinks. In a nebulous way, they _have _been courting each other for several years now. If getting asked super invasive and personal questions, beating the shit out of, cursing, and taunting each other counts as courting.

But it fits.

“Yes.” Izuna whispers, and not a moment later he has soft lips pressing against his.

It’s chaste, which probably shouldn’t surprise Izuna at all but somehow it _does _because it almost feels _hesitant_, which is absolutely no good, because if Izuna’s had to endure all of Tobirama’s teasing, then he’s going to pay it all back tenfold.

Starting with kissing the shit out of his Senju for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama: oh, what a pretty silk, Tobi!  
Tobirama, wearing red silk wound around his forearm: thanks, Izuna gave it to me  
Izuna: *preens*  
Madara: wait a fuCKING SECOND


	68. Clueless

“—really shouldn’t leave your brushes just everywhere because I tripped on one and the bruise I have now is _entirely your fault_.”

Hashirama sighs, listening to Izuna and Tobirama, yet again, quarrel. Heh. It’s not unlike how Mito and him do. Isn’t that a thought?

“Hey, hey! Tobi! You two fight like an old married couple!” Hashirama exclaims with a large grin, because anything, even Tobi scolding him, is better than the screeching and jabs being thrown about.

But instead of scolding, Tobirama’s shooting him an almost . . . smug look?

He looks to Izuna, who’s looking at him with a—okay, Hashirama’s never been one to actual be able to read Izuna, so he’s just going to glance over at Madara—

Who’s bright red, looking torn between a screech of epic proportions and murderous rage. Huh, even his hands are twitching.

“What?” Hashirama eventually says, because no one’s spoken a single word, discounting Madara’s kettle noises.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘WHAT’?!” Madara finally lets out the screech he’s been holding in. “THEY _ARE _MARRIED, YOU IDIOT!”

Hashirama blinks.

Then he laughs, full-bodied and has to grip his stomach because, “Tobi and Izuna aren’t married; I would know!”

As Hokage, he would’ve had to sign the papers.

“I told you so.” Tobirama shoots at Madara, who’s looking even more red and Hashirama didn’t even know that was possible.

“Tobi?”

“Anija.” His sweet Tobi answers but doesn’t say anything else.

His eyes cut to Izuna, and narrow just a bit. If Madara’s spewing these, these _lies_, and Tobi isn’t answering him, then so help him, he’s going to get answers.

“You signed the papers, you were there at our wedding party.” Izuna quickly says.

What.

_What_.

He did no such thing! His precious Otouto! NO! He can’t be married!

From his crouch on the floor, he barely hears the conversation happening above him.

“I told you he never reads what I give him to sign.”

“That’s . . . wow.”

“Aniki, you owe us, now~”

“I DON’T OWE _YOU_ ANYTHING, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

“I can still say I told you so~”

Hashirama pops up, since clearly his depressive mood isn’t going to garner him any attention, and turns his smile onto his apparently-brother-in-law.

“I think it’s about time to have a little talk, I-zu-na~”

Because for the life of him, Hashirama can’t even recall when Tobirama might have brought him his damn marriage papers to sign, and therefore instead of brooding, he should beat the crap out of Izuna.

That’ll at least improve his mood just a bit.


	69. Symbol

Izuna does a double take as Tobirama walks in with Madara. Well, he would have anyways, since Tobirama is _Tobirama_, but what grabbed his attention wasn’t him, for once.

There, taped to his back, is a piece of paper with the uchiwa drawn on it.

It makes something curl with glee inside him, because even if it’s just a simple marking, easily removed, it’s still the symbol of his clan. And Tobirama’s wearing it.

(Something also snarls in jealousy, because he certainly didn’t put it there, and there’s only a very select few who could have pulled this off without being noticed and then drowned, and he hasn’t heard of anyone meeting their untimely doom.)

Izuna shoots Tobirama’s brats next to him a quick look, and it's almost cute, how they're caught between mortification and laughter. Kagami is tellingly missing.

Perhaps if Izuna bribes Kagami with some dango, he’ll do it again. He has to hit him over the head first, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Izuna, jealousy looks so good on you~
> 
> Because the Uchiha tend to simply write an uchiwa on absolutely everything, not unlike how dicks are drawn on shit
> 
> The Uchiha tend to overlook these instances; denying that their youth would mark things up in public and that other people are just trying to frame them (but in private snicker among themselves)


	70. Accidents are Simply Surprise Opportunities

Izuna feints left, and while he hopes Tobirama goes for it, he knows better, and is already working on his biggest, grandest, Grand Fireball.

And it leaves him feeling nearly drained, but that’s okay, because Aniki should call a retreat here any—

Izuna stares.

It hurts to look at, but Izuna can’t force himself to look away.

The Fireball he blew, it’s now a bright ball of white and blue flame. And it pulses once, before dissipating.

Izuna stares more.

Because surely, surely the _water-natured_ Tobirama couldn’t have done—couldn’t have—

The whole battlefield is quiet, and it’s probably due to the Uchiha side being in absolute shock, as he is.

Because Tobirama’s just standing there, his fingers still in their last position and there’s no mistaking that he just blew a Heart’s Flame at his Grand Fireball.

“I REFUSE!”

Aniki lands next to him and makes to step in front of him.

“Tobi?”

“That worked better than I’d expected it to; I’m not sure why it turned white and blue, though.”

“I didn’t even know you were practicing fire jutsu, Tobi!”

Aniki turns to him and stares at him _hard_. It’s his _we’re definitely talking about this later_ Look that definitely means Izuna’s going to get screeched at later and thrown into the koi pond.

“What are you refusing Tobi for, Madara?”

Aniki sputters as he points at Tobirama accusingly. “HIS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!”

“What?”

“What.”

Tobirama’s tone is definitely one that meant he had no idea what he just did, but given how _he’s not supposed to know that jutsu to begin with_, his lack of knowledge doesn’t negate the proposal.

(It’s one of the first things all Uchiha were taught, when learning the jutsu, after all.)

“Oh, Tobi!”—Hashirama’s crying, and it’s not gross crying, so it should be illegal and now Izuna’s thinking about whether Tobirama would look just as good crying—“I didn’t know you felt that way about Izuna! Going out and learning their customs!”

“Wait, Anija—”

“And announcing it like this!” Hashirama continues as he clings onto Tobirama. “You should’ve told me! Now our clans can be brought together through marriage for peace!”

Tobirama looks like he wants to be having this conversation anywhere else but in the middle of the battlefield, if at all.

(He’s not allowed to rescind his proposal, and neither can Aniki refuse it, for that matter.)

And just because Tobirama’s put him on the spot like this _by proposing to him_, Izuna turns a vicious grin towards his rival.

“I accept.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tobi, all his hours spent <s>stalking</s> watching the Uchiha and the jutsu he learns is a katon that ends up stopping a Grand Fireball in its tracks is actually how they propose to one another.
> 
> I'm a slut for accidental marriage, customs confusion, and all the shit that goes with it~


	71. Gift

Izuna bristles as Tobirama slinks closer—fangs bared, tail twitching, and ears flattened against his head.

Who does Tobirama think he is, to come and disturb Izuna’s nap like this?

Hissing and spitting, it rankles that Tobirama seems completely nonplussed towards his obvious displays of ire.

Okay, now _that _got a reaction.

Tobirama’s eyes squint even further than their usual narrowed look, but it’s a sign that he’s finally gotten something through that thick skull of his!

A white ear flicks a bit at his short yowl, and Izuna is totally going to count that as a victory.

As he’s turning back around (this particular spot of sunshine will be gone soon and it’s his favorite spot in the whole village) Tobirama moves towards him again.

Just as Izuna’s about to spit a damn Fireball at him, Tobirama holds up—

Izuna can’t help it, his tail curls up and he stares at the grilled fish Tobirama’s extending out towards him. After a quick glance at Tobirama’s face, Izuna snatches the fish up.

Trilling a bit, because if there’s anything better than a sun spot, it’s a well-cooked fish. And this is the best damn fish Izuna’s ever had.

So really, while Izuna _could _fight off Tobirama as he’s picked up and hauled over Tobirama’s shoulders, he won’t.

Not if he can get more fish like this out of Tobirama by being his mate.


	72. Helper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Izuna and Madara are fox spirits, and Tobirama and Hashirama priests who tend to their shrines.

Tobirama loves his shrine; he works tirelessly to ensure its upkeep. Some days are much easier than others, and it helps when he doesn’t get many visitors.

Which makes him sad, in a way, but he supposes that not many people want to visit _because _it’s way out in the countryside.

Ah, and there goes his mindful meditation.

Withholding a sigh, Tobirama stands up gracefully and brushes straight his light blue hakama.

He still has chores he can do before the rain comes in.

He steadfastly ignores the little pitter-patter of feet as he grabs his broom and heads out towards the sandō. There’s some faint yips and something that sound suspiciously like something small face-planting.

Tobirama is ever so glad to have perfected a resting neutral face.

And so his afternoon is spent sweeping the walkway to the shrine, listening to the chimes of bells and the whistles of the shrine’s kami that’s teetering and spinning around him. Tobirama thinks it’s really cute, all but going to his knees in height in its more human form, with furred ears and tail.

The fact that it picked up a small branch to mimic sweeping puts a smile onto Tobirama’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On sandō:  
"The _sandō_, or “worshipper’s path,” is a walkway that leads you into the shrine and to its constituent structures. Most _sandō_ are paved with gravel or flagstone. The _sandō_ takes you naturally along the shrine’s pilgrimage route, providing a complete tour of the grounds. It is best to keep a step to the right or left of center, since many shrines regard the central axis (_seichū_) as a path reserved for the _kami_ of the shrine." [source](https://www.nippon.com/en/views/b05203/sando-the-worshipper%E2%80%99s-path.html)


	73. Cultural Differences

“Izuna!” Madara yells as he sees his brother almost _slinking _out of the Hokage’s office.

“Aniki.”

Immediately his relief to see Izuna again is gone, wiped away by Izuna’s terrible grief-stricken plea.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Damn that stupid rat bastard! And Hashirama! Especially Hashirama! I knew Hashirama shouldn’t have sent just the two of you—”

Madara pauses in his fretting and checking over as he notices that Izuna’s shirt is . . . decidedly _not _his.

“Izuna, where’d you get this shirt?”

Izuna can’t meet his gaze and he’s looking like a petulant little child, and the only other time that’s ever truly happened was when—

“You caught your robe on fire, didn’t you.” It’s not a question, not really, and Madara drops his arms and sighs. “And to think, I was actually worried for you! YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU, THREE?!”

“Hey! It’s not my fault the enemy knew some futon and put a lot of _oomph _behind his attack!”

“I CAN’T TELL WHETHER I SHOULD BE IMPRESSED OR NOT, SO I’M GOING WITH NOT.”

“Aniki!”

“Hold on a second. Whose shirt is this?”

Izuna clams up faster than Madara’s ever seen him do, which is certainly saying a lot. He has a feeling that he’s not going to like the answer, which pretty much tells him _exactly _whose shirt his little brother is wearing. But Madara needs to teach Izuna a lesson, so he persists.

“Izuna. Whose. Shirt. Is. This?”

“It’s Tobirama’s.” Izuna sounds so terribly defeated as he mutters it. Really, it’s half a whine.

Madara opens his mouth to tell Izuna that he’s a good little brother, when an errant thought worms its way into his brain.

“If you’re wearing Tobirama’s shirt, then what’s Tobirama wearing?” While Madara knows the man to be prepared nearly to a fault, they purposefully packed light for their mission.

“Aniki!” Now Izuna really is whining and it’s annoying.

“Izuna, really—_guh_.” Madara gapes as his face flushes horribly.

Tobirama, the bastard, simply raises an eyebrow at the two of them before walking past them. Madara tracks him with his eyes, and then turns back towards Izuna once Tobirama turned the corner. Madara’s not sure whether it’s the fact that Tobirama’s blatantly ignoring every social convention to cover up or whether it’s—no! No, it’s most definitely that the rat bastard has no shirt on and is being very, very _rude_ by not wearing one! No other reason!

“The entire way back, Aniki.”

Madara grimaces in sympathy.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

Izuna tsks at him, like he should know what he just got smacked for. “I saw that, Madara, and you know _he’s mine_.”

And then Izuna trots off, probably following that wall of pale flesh he calls a boyfriend and flashing everyone that smug face of his while he does.

Madara grumbles and walks into the office, wondering, yet again, what the fuck is wrong with the Senju.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Senju having no body/skin shame while Uchiha being Utmost Prudes gives me life.
> 
> OMAKE  
Izuna: thanks for the shirt  
Tobirama: you looked on the verge of an epic meltdown, so of course I gave you my shirt; I don't mind being shirtless and I'd do it again in a heartbeat  
Izuna: thanks, you're so sweet!  
Izuna: wait a minute  
Izuna: *has epic meltdown*


	74. Necessary (Onsen Ryokan)

Izuna curses as his gaze falls upon none other than Senju Tobirama.

Then he curses Aniki, for making him take this mission in the first place.

Finally, he curses his rival, because it should be absolutely illegal to be so indecent yet be acting so casual and like nothing is amiss.

Slinking further back into the dark shadows of the branch he’s on, he shamelessly watches as Tobirama walks calmly out towards the onsen—wow, Izuna did not know that those tattoos on his face were part of the whole set. Hm.

Sparing a glance towards the window where his mark slept, and then a glance up at the moon’s height, Izuna makes up his mind.

He hunkers down on his branch.

(His mark can sleep soundly for another few degrees of the moon.)

While some might balk at the blatant disregard of privacy, none would be shinobi. So Izuna’s completely justified at gathering intelligence on his rival.

He has quite the vantage point, and what he’s seen has both made him reevaluate his manliness and made him nearly pant with want.

(Izuna thinks he may simply skim the details on his report, lest Aniki give him another Talk; one was enough, thank you very much.)

The groan that Tobirama lets out as he sinks into the hot water sends a lightning bolt down his spine and Izuna bites his lip _hard _to stifle the whimper that threatens to come out.

He very, very quietly palms himself so he’s not as uncomfortable before checking that he’s secure in the tree.

Hesitating, he weighs the pros and cons of activating his sharingan, before ultimately deciding that he definitely should.

As slow as he can manage, he activates his sharingan, hoping that the small changes in his nearly smothered chakra won’t be overtly noticeable.

Normal water hurts when it hits him; Izuna really doesn’t want to find out how much _hot _water hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna, you idiot


	75. Vacation (Onsen Ryokan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay WOW at the responses from last chapter, you guys hit the nail on a lot of things! It just goes to show these two are completely predictable and should just fuck already C:

Tobirama’s too relaxed to deal with his flustered rival who’s trying so very hard not to be noticed—no, no, he really can’t just ask why Izuna’s chakra feels muted to him. That would be telling, and the last thing Tobirama needs is his rival trying to figure out his sensing.

So instead he grins internally as he feels the sharingan whirl to life slower than he’s ever felt before. Tobirama is feeling generous, so he’ll give Izuna props for his attempt. After all, he truly doesn’t want to cause problems for the elderly couple who run the onsen ryokan by starting a fight.

(The water feels absolutely divine, and it’s this particular onsen ryokan that he always frequents while taking the missions Anija should not take. The fact that he’s given a daifukumochi in the shape of a rabbit every time, without fail, despite it not being given to other guests—he knows, he’s checked—is yet another reason he selfishly hoards the missions in this region. Tobirama always wonders as he eats it if this is how it feels to have grandparents.)

Tobirama brushes aside all his thoughts on family and Anija and missions and stupid Uchiha sitting on branches.

(Though that last one, however, he admits requires a bit more thought while he’s acting a distraction. He needs to figure out what he’s distracting Izuna from, and stop him if it’s business in the ryokan.)

In the meantime, he’s going to _enjoy _his soak, errant voyeur Uchiha be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Obaasan knows Tobirama needs a hug ;_; 
> 
> (She also knows that when Tobirama comes, business booms for the few days—she can't help but laugh and try to protect the obliviousness of her dear white-haired moon child.)


	76. Decisions, Decisions (Onsen Ryokan)

Izuna’s better prepared this time, he’s shored up his footing, regulating his breathing and—

And Izuna still nearly falls out of the tree he’s in when Senju Tobirama stand up to get out of the onsen. He shamefully watches the water drip down his rival’s full form with a bright red face. For how slow they’re dripping, Izuna nearly thinks they’re taunting him to go down there and wipe them off—

No! No, bad Izuna, what would Aniki say if Izuna botched this mission by doing something so stupid?

Probably throw him into the koi pond before screeching at him that he never learns.

When he refocuses on the Senju, it’s to see an empty space.

Ah, _fuck_.

Very, very quietly, he palms a kunai, sharingan cataloging his surroundings for an attack. There’s movement—

Izuna lets out a faint hiss as he winds up slicing his finger on the kunai at the sight of his rival through the doorway.

Somehow . . . somehow Senju Tobirama is _more _indecent wearing a yukata that he doesn’t close properly and _oh my fucking Sage his chest looks so **good**_—

Focus! Izuna needs to not get caught, not be seen, finish his mission. He can go through these memories later, in the privacy of his bedroom.

Another look shows Tobirama turning the corner, out of sight. Izuna juggles his options, and a quick glance at the moon shows that he still has plenty of time to get to his mark.

With that thought, he trails silently after his rival.


	77. Invitation (Onsen Ryokan)

Tobirama’s well aware of his Uchiha-shaped shadow. Being aware of this fact doesn’t make his irritation any less, however. His lips twitch when he leaves the onsen and feels Izuna’s chakra flicker. He shakes his head as he makes his way to his room.

There’s the daifukumochi sitting on his table when he opens the door and it actually makes him smile. Baachan should be sleeping right now, not making sure he has a treat after his bath.

Bypassing the table, he heads towards the windows and, after checking to make sure the notches he’s made still line up, opens them further.

(Tobirama’s still not entirely sure how Baachan always has this room free for him to stay in—without fail. Nor how his tea always comes unprepared. He’s also not sure why he’s never been accused of vandalizing the window frame to make it easier to check for tampering. He’s long since put these questions to rest with a simple: it’s Baachan magic.)

He doesn’t do anything so gauche as speaking out loud—he knows Izuna can read lips.

_You may as well come in, if you’re set on watching me. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are._

Tobirama waits a beat before moving back to the table and sitting down on a cushion. There’s a small tap that Tobirama didn’t need to hear to know that Izuna has come into his room.

Instead, he busies himself with preparing some tea that’s been set out with his rabbit daifukumochi.

There’s two cups on the tray that was set out, when there’s only ever been one before.

_Baachan magic._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Obaasan knows what Tobirama is, and certainly never confronts him about it, but tries to make Tobirama feel more at ease while under her roof. (and hey, there’s never been any incidents while Tobirama’s been staying here)
> 
> Obaasan hasn’t gotten this old, in this world, running this kind of business, without being able to observe and act upon those observations. (The middle-aged man in the room opposite her moon child was constantly looking over his shoulder as one might when death is hanging over them when he came in. She hopes her moon child takes the initiative, and that’s why she set out two cups.)
> 
> Okay, wow, I could probably write a fucking chapter just on the sweet little old Obaasan who’s fond of Tobirama


	78. Two Bad Choices Probably Make a Good One (Onsen Ryokan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt title: Izuna has very bad impulse control

Izuna’s feet hit the tatami with a faint tap.

Fuck.

Between seeing Tobirama _actually _smile (dear Sage no wonder he doesn’t do it more—it’s fucking _adorable_) and the insult to his sneaking skills (he’s one of the best in the clan; since there’s no need to speak), Izuna hadn’t thought his action of entering the room through. In fact, his body seems to have moved itself without his knowledge.

(Izuna refuses to believe his Aniki that his involuntary body movements are tied to his rival.)

Thankfully, there’s no immediate traps, and looking around, Izuna can’t find evidence of any more. It’s not an overly large room, but it’s still large enough he could swing his tanto without worry of hitting anything. He deactivates his sharingan and internally pats himself on the back when the faint line of tension in Tobirama’s shoulders fades away.

(Ha! Take that, Aniki! Izuna can be _civil _and _not _escalate things if he chooses to!)

Refocusing on his rival, he watches Tobirama tilt the teapot in his direction, tip it upside down, before putting some tea leaves in and adding hot water. Izuna’s confused, until Tobirama places a cup opposite him and it dawns on Izuna that his rival is preparing tea for them and wanted to show that there’s nothing inside the teapot—like poison.

(Shinobi are paranoid. Shinobi facing the Senju are doubly paranoid since somehow they tend to use poisons they themselves are completely immune to and that’s really, really unfair.)

He eyes Tobirama again, and really, he should learn to tie a yukata right because Izuna doesn’t think they should show that much skin. He pauses.

What the hell.

Izuna plops down on the cushion opposite Tobirama and opens his mouth to speak but stops short when he recognizes the rabbit daifukumochi sitting on the table.

A little seed of unease blooms in his stomach.


	79. Obaasan (Onsen Ryokan)

Hisako’s old enough where if she were to drop something, someone else usually picks it up for her. It’s nice, especially when the rain about to come makes her back hurt more than usual. It’s not so nice when the young man who picks up her dropped bag makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up, even if he’s smiling politely.

She didn’t get this old through being stupid.

A lack of a sword strapped to his side means he’s not a samurai.

A lack of a travelling cloak or bag means he’s not a merchant.

No, this young man, who’s barely out of his boyhood by the looks of it, is most assuredly a shinobi.

There’s only one shinobi she cares for, and that’s her sweet child Tobirama. Who, coincidentally, she’s out in the market for. See, her tea leaves this morning arranged themselves just so, and along with her intuition, means her boy is going to be coming by.

She also heard from Takao last night that he heard from his cousin Keikou that a messenger was seen delivering a scroll tied in red cords in the town over.

Which explains why the merchant who came in yesterday was so skittish; he knows there’s someone after him.

It’s not Hisako’s place to judge who gets to live or die, nor whether they deserve either.

“Thank you, young man.” She says with a dip of her head, not yet taking her bag.

“My pleasure!” The foolish boy says in reply.

“Good, good, then let’s go.” Hisako cackles internally as she starts walking away. Now she has a young man to carry her purchases.

“W-Wait!”

“Now, now, didn’t you just say it’s your pleasure? Surely you wouldn’t leave an old woman to carry so many purchases by herself.”

“What purchases?”

“The ones I’m going to make!”

Hisako smiles genially at the poleaxed expression on the other. She doesn’t make small talk with anyone, and the boy should feel grateful for that. Her knees thank her that she was able to pull a fast one on the other; not having to carry all the vegetables and other food is wonderful.

She saves the most important purchase for last: the daifukumochi.

(Oh, how her poor boy looked close to tears when she had handed him one on his first night! It’s like he’d never gotten one before!)

“Say now, young man—”

“Yes?” He sounds so pitiful! Pah! Her Tobirama wouldn’t sound so tired after a day at the market!

“Which one of these would you give to someone truly special?” Hisako points to the display of rabbit daifukumochi and waits.

It says volumes that the boy simply doesn’t point at the nearest one, but truly takes his time to think about her question—meaning he’s thinking about a certain person while doing so.

“The blueberry one.”

Ah, that’s the one that Tobirama likes best, not that he’d ever tell her that to her face. But the lack of even the sugar dusting on the plate when she sets out a blueberry one speaks to his preferences. It’s not a flavor one would traditionally pick, and her eyes narrow as she watches the boy get lost in thought.

Perhaps they’re thinking of the same person, then. The young man blushes, and suddenly Hisako understands. Better set out two cups tonight, she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onsen Obaasan is a scary lady, she knows a lot about a lot of things and can see right through you. And she pegged Izuna for the fool that he is rather quickly.
> 
> Luckily she’s deemed Izuna a good enough person for her Tobirama :D


	80. Distracted (Onsen Ryokan)

“I’m not sharing.”

Izuna looks up from the daifukumochi. “The Obaasan—”

“Ah, she runs this ryokan.” Tobirama’s lips quirk up ever so slightly and Izuna swallows because his throat suddenly went dry. “I see you’ve met.”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

That gets him a soft huff of almost laughter. Izuna wonders where his rival went, since clearly the person in front of him isn’t him. There’s no way this soft-looking and soft-spoken man is his rival.

(Without the happuri, Tobirama’s hair falls so sweetly against his face. Izuna vehemently squashes the small part of him that wants to touch.)

“What are you doing here?” Izuna blurts out and immediately regrets ever stopping to peek at Tobirama.

A raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t that be my question?”

“Aha, you’re right.” Izuna sheepishly tilts his head in apology.

They fall back into silence and _dear Sage _deliver Izuna from this awkwardness. He fingers the top of his cup to give his hands something to do. After taking another sip, he can’t help but break the silence.

“Why aren’t you trying to kill me?”

Well, fuck. _That’s _not what Izuna should ask.

“Why indeed.” Tobirama takes a sip of his tea and Izuna watches that pale throat swallow. “I figured that you’d be better company if you weren’t bleeding by my hand.”

(Suddenly Izuna’s accosted by imagery of Tobirama gently marking his skin up in fine, crisp red lines not entirely unlike his tattoos. Dream Tobirama definitely, ah, _makes up_ for the fact that he’s hurting Izuna. Mm.)

Heat floods his face and he ducks his head to try and shield himself from Tobirama’s gaze.

Watching from underneath his bangs, Izuna tracks Tobirama as he shifts the plate with the daifukumochi on it closer and—

Izuna feels faint. Those long, long pale fingers are being brought up to thin lips and a tongue that licks—

Sage give him strength.


	81. Planning (Onsen Ryokan)

Tobirama is curious.

His rival must be here for a reason, since he’s obviously dressed for a nighttime excursion. If Izuna’s here, at the ryokan, then perhaps his mark is here. He nearly frowns at the thought; Baachan certainly doesn’t need to make her morning rounds and find a dead body.

Tobirama’s mind is made up: he needs to incapacitate his rival. At least until the sun comes up.

But how?

While he has no doubts he _could _slip some dried poppy milk powder onto his daifukumochi, he also wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t sharing it. Not the blueberry one. Never the blueberry one.

Which leaves his options rather limited—until he sees the blush on Izuna’s face and feels the tingle of his chakra.

Ah. Tobirama knows a good plan. He’ll have to execute it very, very carefully.

(Touka always did say that he’s absolutely terrible at flirting and should never take honeypot missions. Anija wholeheartedly agreed. Tobirama, annoyed, had spent countless hours pouring over scrolls and following all manner of people around to try and learn. He begrudgingly admitted that he’s probably not the best suited for such tasks.)

Of course, because of Izuna’s peeping, and subsequent stalking, Tobirama’s pretty sure he’s got the first step down. Izuna finds him visually appealing.

Next step, they both need to be naked. Right. Tobirama can do this.

“Say, Izuna,” Tobirama starts, making sure to meet those dark eyes, “Wouldn’t it only be fair for me to see all of you, given how much you saw of me?”

Hm. Tobirama may need to find more scrolls when all this is said and done. None of them ever said what to do if the recipient starts sputtering and flailing.

Tobirama can’t tell if the blush on Izuna’s face is from anger, embarrassment, or arousal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about all of the above, Tobirama
> 
> Tobirama . . . you're missing quite a few steps there ^-^;;
> 
> It'll all be okay, since really Izuna's been looking for an opportunity to climb you like a tree~


	82. Failure (Onsen Ryokan)

Izuna nearly runs head first into the next tree he jumps to as he remembers last night. After his fit—which was perfectly _normal _to have after your sworn enemy simply _asks for you to get naked_—Tobirama hummed and wondered out loud whether it was because Tobirama would still be dressed too, and then casually offered to shed _his _clothing as well!

And things went downhill from there, because after Izuna’s brain rebooted, he was already out of his shirt and halfway out of his pants.

_“You have back dimples.”_

Tobirama had sounded so _pleased _at the discovery and Izuna was so shocked at the sound that he’d _let Tobirama touch his back_. Tobirama clearly had taken his silence as permission and had stroked his back in a half-massage half-teasing way and—

Izuna lands near the gates to the compound and shivers at the aches he acquired last night making themselves known. Thank the Sage that his outfit has a high collar, because Tobirama had been very _bitey _and wasn’t that something? His rival: bitey.

(He has the teeth to match, too! Yet somehow the enthusiastic, yet amateur blowjob he had gotten didn’t even have a faint scrape of teeth.)

Then there’s the scratches that run along his shoulders and down his back, but Tobirama looked so pretty and debauched underneath him!

His happy mood lasts until he reaches Aniki’s office, because now he has to report what had happened, and why his target’s still up and alive.

(Wasn’t that a moment, when Izuna had woken up—woken up!—and realized that it was indeed morning and his target probably had already left and caused who knows how much damage with the trade agreement? Of course, when he sat up and looked around, there was Tobirama, simply sitting at the table eating breakfast. Izuna joined him, because what else was he supposed to do?)

“Aniki—”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Izuna snaps his mouth shut as he watches Madara pinch the bridge of his nose. Probably to attempt to stave off the headache that’s bound to come from Izuna’s failed mission.

“I hope you realize how fucking bad this situation is.”

Izuna nods.

“I said we were sending our best.”

Izuna looks towards his feet.

“And you FAILED. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WHY THE FUCK—_HOW _DID THAT FUCKING HAPPEN?!”

Aniki’s right in front of him, so when he goes to shrug sheepishly, he gets a front row view of him wincing as his robe irritates the scratches on his back.

Immediately, Madara’s attention turns from scathing to concerned, and gloved hands are tugging on his robe and—

“Izuna. What is this.”

Izuna purses his lips.

A gloved finger presses mercilessly against a rather large hickey on Izuna’s neck.

A small hiss and half a flinch is all Izuna gives Madara in response.

Izuna watches Madara take a very big, deep breath in through his nose.

“You can contemplate what you’re going to tell the elders while you’re making your way out of the koi pond.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna has back dimples pass it on


	83. Asshole

Izuna’s ribs creak in protest at the dull impact. Like a flash he buries his hands into the fur surrounding Tobirama’s neck, going so far as to drop his own katana to do so. He’s not sure what made his rival spare him, what made Tobirama decide to hit him with the broad side of his sword, but Izuna thanks Amaterasu above for her mercy, and swears to take advantage of it.

With his hands securing the Senju, he yanks himself closer, his lips meeting his rival’s.

He watches those red eyes widen, feels the way those lips twitch against his with a sense of immense satisfaction.

Pulling back when he hears Aniki’s screech, he once again thanks Amaterasu above when roots shoot up where he just was.

“WE’RE LEAVING. NOW.” Aniki grips his collar hard and all but drags him towards the treeline, leaving Izuna to smirk back at his rival where that stupid tree bastard is hovering around him.

Tobirama looks poleaxed, and Izuna has an epiphany, and can’t help but open his mouth.

“Bet that was the best kiss you’ve ever gotten, Senju!”

The grip on his collar increases, nearly choking him, and Izuna knows he’s in for a trip into the koi pond, but it's so, so worth it.

They’re far enough away that Izuna can’t hear Tobirama’s response, but with his sharingan, he certainly can read his lips.

_“That was the only kiss I’ve ever gotten.”_

Satisfaction curls heavy and hot in Izuna’s gut as trees begin to obscure his vision. A vicious smirk grows on his face and he looks over at his Aniki in victory.

“You know what they say: you never forget your first kiss.”

Izuna’s immensely proud of himself when his statement makes Aniki miss his next branch.


	84. I'll Bite Your Legs Off (Just a Flesh Wound)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up for Extremely Dubious Consent

Izuna’s eyes snap open, sharingan already whirling as hands wrap around his throat.

“_Urk_—”

Tobirama.

For fuck’s sake!

Izuna grips Tobirama’s wrists in an effort to stop himself from being choked out as he gathers enough chakra. In any other circumstance, Izuna would welcome the Senju to straddle him like this, but right now, Izuna really needs to focus.

He releases the chakra in one big burst, gasping as Tobirama’s hands flinch back from his throat.

Thank fuck Tobirama taught Izuna how to flare his chakra like that. He’s described it as a very bright flash in his sensor sight, and to have Izuna do it this close, well. It gives Izuna the precious few seconds to flip them and grab towards the edge of the futon.

“You filthy, cheating, no good Uch—”

“If you have nothing nice to say,” Izuna cuts Tobirama off, “then don’t say anything at all.”

Slapping a chakra suppression seal right over Tobirama’s mouth, Izuna smirks down at those vicious red eyes he hasn’t met for over a year before catching the punches thrown at him. It’s a moments work to have Tobirama’s hands bound and pinned above the futon.

“Now what do you have to say for yourself—oh wait, I almost forgot.” Izuna leans down and kisses the seal over Tobirama’s mouth.

That makes Tobirama stop struggling and tense up, their positions and their general nakedness apparently finally registering in his mind.

Izuna leans back, making extra sure to put weight down on Tobirama’s hips. He cheekily smiles at the glare it gets him.

Mito did say that Tobirama might wind up with amnesia, and that it was a bad idea to sleep next to him. But _someone _had to make sure his Tobira-chan woke up every few hours and he sure as hell wasn’t going to trust some stupid people at the hospital that was just built!

“If you’ve forgotten the last year of us being together, Tobira-chan”—Izuna places his hands on Tobirama’s chest and ignores the muffled sounds coming from him—“then I suppose I’ll just have to remind you~”

Tobirama struggles at that, but he really has no traction to do much asides from wriggle once Izuna twists so that Tobirama’s legs are braced on either side of his hips.

“Come now, _Tobira-chan_, you weren’t complaining so loudly last night when I pounded your ass into this futon.”

Tobirama’s legs clamp around Izuna’s waist in a bid to squeeze the life out of him, and _fuck _if his thighs weren’t so incredibly hot. But Izuna knows this trick, and it only takes a well placed pinch behind the soft part of one knee for a choked-off pained sound and Tobirama to stop.

“Look at that, it looks like I get to have your first time all over again, To-bi-ra-ma~”

The glare Izuna gets is blistering, yet with how his amnesia is going, it’s almost sad that Tobirama won’t remember this later. Good thing he’s recording it all with his sharingan!


	85. Tis But a Scratch (Just a Flesh Wound)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Alasse_m!

“Who are you?”

“Now you’re just fucking with me.” Izuna says, grimacing at the question Tobirama just asked.

Tobirama tilts his head like he’s thinking hard and—_fuck_.

Izuna’s pissed.

Tobirama’s memory of him should be stronger than a fucking head wound!

“Come on, we need to get you to someone to get your head checked out. Fucking you like this wouldn’t be as fun.”

That gets him a questioning sound, but Izuna simply grabs his wrist and walks him over to Hashirama’s house. Because Hashirama’s known Tobirama longer than Izuna, so he’ll _probably _remember Hashirama. Yep. Solid plan.

“HEY TREE-BRAIN!”

“Izuna! Tobi!” Hashirama’s voice is as good a beacon as ever and Izuna drags Tobirama further into the house.

“And you are?”

It would take a much bigger person than Izuna to not snicker at Hashirama’s devastated face.

“Tobi! It’s me: your Anija!”

“I apologize, I don’t remember.”

The wailing Hashirama does is decidedly less funny. But it does bring Aniki in from outside.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on?”

“Madara.”

Izuna nearly snarls at his Aniki, and a quick glance at Hashirama confirms they’re both in agreement.

“What?” Aniki says, irritated.

“You’re Madara.” Tobirama sounds so incredibly _pleased _that it makes Izuna’s upper lip curl back into a sneer.

Only _he _should make Tobira sound that pleased!

“Yes . . . ? What’s this about?” Good. Let Aniki sound worried! He should be!

“Tobi can’t remember who Izuna or I am, yet he can remember _you_.” Hashirama’s smile is actually creeping Izuna out. Thank fuck it’s not directed at him.

Izuna can recognize the moment Aniki finally _gets it_, and in the blink of an eye, he’s gone.

A snarling Hashirama disappears moments later.

“I sure hope I’m not related to him.”

Izuna snorts and pointedly doesn’t answer him.

“Come on, let’s go get some breakfast before we find a healer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course out of all of them Tobirama remembers _Madara_. 
> 
> Don't worry, after a lovely breakfast and a trip to a very intimidated healer (Izuna is _scary_ when he's possessive) and then some rest, Tobirama's gonna be just fine :D


	86. What I would do for you (For Love)

Izuna stops himself from knocking on Mito’s door. He won’t have a better opportunity to ask, what with Tobirama out on a long mission, and yet he can’t help but feel nervous for how Mito will respond to his request.

Hence why he’s still dithering about on her doorstep.

And why he doesn’t notice Mito leaning out a front window.

“Izuna. You know my rule: in or out.”

Izuna doesn’t startle so much as _freeze _at Mito’s tone. Ducking his head, he lets himself in the front door.

“Mito, I have a request.” Izuna blurts out the moment he sits down across from Mito, a cup of tea already poured out for him.

“Yes, a rather good one, judging by the fact you stood outside my door for half an hour.”

Izuna winces. Best to just get this over with.

“I would like to ask if there’s a seal you could create that could mask my chakra presence completely without actually sealing my chakra.”

Silence.

Izuna looks up to see Mito taking a sip of her tea.

“This is for Tobirama, I presume?”

Izuna sends a flat look at her.

“And why would you need to sneak up on Tobirama?”

And there’s the heart of the issue, the tiny thread of doubt. While it’s true that Mito and him have gotten along rather amicably, especially once Tobirama started vouching for him, it’s still rather intimidating to be in front of her.

“Well,” Izuna starts slowly, trying and failing to ignore his face heating up, “a blindfold doesn’t do too much to dampen Tobirama’s chakra sensing, and there’s no way I want to take away both his sights at once.”

Mito, ever patient, simply sips her tea again.

Izuna sits there, trying not to fidget.

“His birthday isn’t for another two months.”

“I know. I didn’t know how long it would take to create a seal like this.”

“Hm. I’ll have it done for you.”

“Really?!—wait, no, _thank you_.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure—especially since you’ll be telling me _all _about when you use the seal, and his response to it.”

Izuna sweats. “Yes ma’am.”

“_All _the details.”

Izuna sweats more. “O-Of course, Mito!”

“Good. Then we have an agreement.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mito knows what's good ;)


	87. Birthday (For Love)

“I presume this is when you’ll give me my gift?”

Izuna huffs as he ties the blindfold maybe a little tighter than strictly necessary in response to the dry tone.

“That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble.” Izuna growls lowly.

Tobirama hums, smirk in place.

Well, if Tobirama wants to be a little shit, Izuna’s going to treat him like a little shit, birthday be damned.

“Bastard.” Izuna mutters under his breath as he gets out the rope and refuses to believe that it has even a _smidge _of fondness.

Tobirama’s significantly less smug after Izuna finishes getting him naked and tying him up.

“Izuna—”

“Shh! Be a good bitch and be quiet or I’ll _make _you be quiet.”

Izuna watches as Tobirama’s cock twitches and clear liquid beads at the tip.

“Heh, I know you’d like that, Tobira-chan”—Izuna takes a step closer to where Tobirama’s kneeling on the bed, arms tied behind his back, calves bound to his thighs, knees spread apart—“but I’d _much _rather spend the night giving you your gift, rather than punishing you.”

His low-pitched confession gets him a full-body shudder and a soft groan.

Stepping back, sharingan spinning in anticipation, he carefully transfers Mito’s seal to the back of his hand. The reaction is near immediate, with Tobirama’s head snapping up and Izuna can feel his chakra simply _whoosh _by him, bypassing him completely.

Then there’s a build-up of what’s probably the start to a very good _kai_, and honestly, it’s like—

“You don’t trust me?” Izuna playfully pouts. “After all this time, trying to dispel a genjustu. One would think you’d learn to spot when something _isn’t _one.”

“Izuna? But how—you’re chakra—it’s just _gone_. If not genjustu, and you’re still alive, that leaves seals. Yet for you to talk so readily, without pain, and—judging from how high up your voice is—you’re still standing, that means it’s not a usual chakra suppression seal that usually leaves at least someone’s _ambient chakra they need to live_.”

Izuna grimaces. He really probably should have seen this coming.

“Okay, I’m going to give you a free pass for that one, since it’s your birthday and all. But really, Tobira”—Izuna shoots a hand out to lightly pet that dripping cock and revels in the way Tobirama jerks from his unexpected touch—“you should be worried about what I’m going to do to you next, and from _where_.”

And then Izuna backs away, watching Tobirama angle his head to try and listen for him.

Time to show his sweet Tobira why Izuna’s the Uchiha clan’s most successful assassin.


	88. Calm (In a Bottle)

“Tobirama-sama, please go collect your husband.”

Tobirama sighs and looks up from his work to see a slightly singed Uchiha Hikaku.

“He’s not my husband.” Tobirama finally settles on saying.

The long-suffering face of Uchiha Hikaku stares back at him.

He stares back.

A moment passes and Tobirama’s not actually sure Hikaku put himself out properly, given how bits of his hair are still smoking.

Finally, Hikaku sighs. “Please, Tobirama-sama, he’s making a _scene_.”

Tobirama lifts an unimpressed brow but says nothing as he stands up.

After all, he is curious—what kind of scene causes _Hikaku _to show up on fire and be more worried about Izuna than personal injury?


	89. Fire (In a Bottle)

Izuna’s night has gotten ten—no—a _hundred _times better.

“Tobira! I was just talking about you!” Izuna sends his not-quite-a-husband-but-he’s-working-on-that one of his trademark grins as he shifts his weight and accidentally knocks the glass next to him over.

“Oh, shit, my bad, that’s really—hnn—you should ask Tobira to do his thing where he”—Izuna gesticulates—“goes _fwoosh _and—and then _waaaaah _and gets your drink back into your cup!”

“Izuna, what are you—”

“TOBIRA! YOU’RE HERE! I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU!”

His almost husband stands there, even when Izuna shifts to pat the half a stool in invitation. They can share half a stool at this point in their relationship, right? Maybe Izuna should move over another bit; his Tobira’s a fair amount bigger than him. Yes, a sound decision.

The floor hits his side and Izuna feels mildly insulted.

He hears a huff of not-quite-laughter and looks up to his soon-to-be husband and freezes.

The floor making him look bad? He can handle that. But the floor making him look bad _in front of Tobira_? Oh. It’s on.

“ . . . fucking blow a fireball up your ass see how you like it then you piece of shit floor—”

Izuna’s cut off from his rambles when large hands pull him upright and makes his vision swim nauseatingly before he finally focuses enough—

“TOBIRA!” Oh, oh man. Izuna’s night’s just gotten a thousand times better. “I was just talking about you! Had to defend your honor.”

“From the floor?”

Izuna nods sharply and nearly overbalances himself but he stubbornly clings to the long, strong arms around him.

“I REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MET, ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, ON THE RIVER. YOU TRIED TO KILL ME—”

“Somehow I never would have considered Izuna to be a _happy _drunk.”

Izuna looks over to the other side of his Tobira to see who he's talking to and sees Hikaku and his grin nearly splits his face as he continues on over top of all the noise.

“I NEVER TOLD ANYONE, BUT I—”

A hand slaps over his face and Izuna wonders if he could blow a fireball like this and not burn himself.

“Izuna, please, let’s just get home.”

Oh, well, if his lovely Senju wants to go _home _then Izuna’s completely down for that.

“Anything you want, Senju~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: sexy times  
Tobirama: no, have a glass of water and get under the covers  
Izuna: for sexy times  
Tobirama: no sexy times  
Izuna:  
Tobirama:  
Izuna: THEN SLEEP WITH THE FLOOR FOR ALL I CARE  
Tobirama: I am never letting you live this down
> 
> (Edit: thanks kitsunesongs!)


	90. Lightning (In a Bottle)

“Hey, Bastard—” Izuna pulls up short.

Tobirama isn’t in his office.

Izuna’s gaze narrows. The sun’s still up—albeit not by much—and Senju Tobirama isn’t in his office. His soft _kai _sounds utterly too loud in the quiet (and empty) space.

Not an illusion, then.

(His sharingan also verifies that what he’s seeing is, in fact, the truth.)

Izuna has to wonder where his deadly pretty and pretty deadly husband—although Izuna has yet to make it _Official _official—is.

There’s no sky falling, no other worldly disaster happening that would pull Tobirama away from his paperwork. Nothing truly pulls Tobirama away from his paperwork.

(Amaterasu, he needs to compete with stupid sheets of dead tree for Tobirama’s attention!)

Sneering, Izuna quickly turns around and leaves, intent to pump the twitchy secretary for info.

He makes it three steps before Hikaku accosts him.

“Izuna-sama, please go collect your husband.”

Izuna preens. Most of the Uchiha already know of his claim to Tobirama, and on one notable account several years ago, actually put Tobirama down in the Uchiha Clan records as officially his husband.

(Izuna loathes that he can’t actually remember that night. Thankfully when he woke up with a massive hangover, he was still able to read the copy he was given—the only way that Izuna actually knows that it’s clan official.)

“Hikaku!” Izuna starts as he walks, and thankfully Hikaku wastes no time guiding them. “What’s going on.”

Hikaku makes the most pained expression he’s ever made, and that’s certainly impressive given that Madara drives him mad.

“Tobirama-sama is making a scene.”

Color Izuna impressed; Hikaku’s made of stern stuff—the sternest, to deal with Madara and his antics—so if Hikaku says there’s a scene, then there’s a _scene_.

Izuna hopes he can get some blackmail—er, emotionally-charged material for the sole use of sentimentality and nostalgic purposes. Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Izuna, you drive Hikaku to drink too
> 
> Hikaku: the one (1) sane Uchiha


	91. Water (In a Bottle)

Tobirama doesn’t normally indulge in public, too wary of others to fully relax, too severe looking for good company to seek him out.

His high alcohol tolerance also doesn’t help.

(And if Tobirama’s honest with himself, it’s much more inexpensive to simply drink at home—better company, too.)

However the moon is close to the earth, and its pull—as always—evokes a visceral response from him. Normally, he hides himself away during the worst of it, however, it doesn’t help that the sun is also in alignment, strengthening that _tugging_, that bone-deep _ache _Tobirama has.

Hashirama never fully understands, his spring instincts tend to run more towards the propagate, sow seeds of life rather than his own rise rise _risepushpull**spread**_—

Tobirama’s sake dances along his fingertips as he flutters them above his cup. He sees the way his current drinking rival eyes them, clearly trying to see if he’s cheating by sending the sake away and not matching him cup for cup.

No hesitation, he finishes off his cup and makes the last remaining sake twirl around his fingertips before bringing them closer to his mouth and depositing the sake right onto his tongue.

The weak-constitution of his fourth opponent makes itself known when they topple over, a flush from their excessive alcohol intake making their face look terrible.

Letting the smooth warmth from the sake spread through his chest, he breathes in and out slowly, feeling the water around answer him, rising up and settling back down.

There’s so much humidity in the air that the dryer, warm air in his senses hits him much like a punch to the face. And with those sorts of chakra signatures—

“You didn’t tell me he was—was doing _that_.” Izuna sounds like something got stuck in his throat, voice cracking.

Tobirama focuses his gaze towards his rival and, without breaking eye contact, twirls some sake in the air towards Izuna’s mouth, taunting, teasing, brushing the smallest amounts across those full lips—

“Oh my Goddess, Hikaku, I’m going to die, but I’m going to die happy.”

“Please think of the other patrons’ blood pressures, Izuna-sama.”

“You’re absolutely right. We should definitely go somewhere else.”

Tobirama arches his brow as Izuna takes three long strides over to him, slams money onto the counter, and then grips his wrist gentler than Tobirama thought he was going to.

“Let’s go. Now.”

Tobirama makes a sound of disapproval.

There’s a pause.

Tobirama focuses on making water skitter and slide and spread along his hand, down his wrist, across Izuna’s wrist—

“I have water”—Tobirama’s interest is piqued—“Lots, lots of water.”

His cheeks are warm from the sake he’s drank, but the call of a place with more water than the bar he’s in, of _more water_—

He nearly skips alongside Izuna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: i have lots of water  
Hikaku: do you really  
Izuna: i’ve been thrown into that koi pond so many times—it’s *mine*  
Tobirama: ｗ ａ ｔ ｅ ｒ


	92. Brush

Izuna tries to catch his breath where he’s laying next to Tobirama. His hair’s sticking uncomfortably against his skin and he makes a disgusted noise as he works up enough energy to get his ponytail out from underneath him.

Fucking his boyfriend into the mattress is always, always worth it, though.

Tobirama sighs, or, well, not much of a sigh but Izuna _knows _it’s a sigh. Izuna purses his lips, because—

“I would love to brush—”

“No one touches my hair.” Izuna is quick to cut him off. Not even Aniki gets to touch his hair, not after Mother died.

“I suppose it’s just as well,” Tobirama states dryly, “It’s never been _your _hair I’d love to brush the most. Now, your _brother’s_—”

Izuna bristles, then promptly uses both feet to shove the Senju off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama, why must you give Izuna this sort of ammunition? He's going to make you pay for it for the rest of your life.
> 
> <s> also hnnn I couldn't resist the brush pun, please forgive me </s>


	93. Little Black Dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs a LBD and but _especially_ Tobirama
> 
> Inspired by [Little Black Dress](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20727011) by drelfina

There’s little that Tobirama hates more than sleazy rich men, and that would be sleazy rich men who are mean to children.

His current mark is going to die a rather painless death, as per the mission requirements, and Tobirama has never wished to fail a mission this much before.

(Okay, that’s a lie; that one time in Hot Springs Country notwithstanding, because what happens in Hot Springs Country, stays in Hot Springs Country. Sage save everyone if _Anija _finds out what happened.)

Tobirama makes an encouraging sound when his mark starts enthusiastically (grossly) licking his neck, and as he tilts his neck the strap of his dress slides off his shoulder.

(It’s a tiny little black thing that Touka had found somewhere that’s more straps than fabric, but lent itself well to being dipped in poison that would sit on his skin but not be absorbed due to the oil Tobirama put on beforehand.)

The poison’s a particular beauty that the Senju normally save for killing their livestock, since the poison dissipates and leaves the meat viable—too hard to make and precious to waste on simple assassinations, but the client was adamant that it must look like a natural death.

“You taste so sweet, little bunny.”

Tobirama nearly sneers, but instead his eye catches a shadow on the other side of the room, by the balcony window. He doesn’t tense, but doesn’t avert his eyes, hoping that whoever it is knows that he’s dangerous and will kill him, even if he’s wearing ridiculously high heels.

(Tobirama _practiced_, okay? Touka oversaw his progress and was thoroughly impressed when he could tree run with the heels on. He’s not going to be taken out by something as stupid as not being able to run in shoes.)

“How about you lay down, and I’ll show you how sweet I can taste.” Tobirama makes sure to pitch his request lowly.

But as soon as the man disengages and flops down onto his back, Tobirama continues to stand, counting back from the time his mark first licked his neck.

Once he reaches zero, and after he’s rearranged the uppermost straps of his dress to recover his neck, he turns towards his shadowy companion.

“Going to simply stare at me all night, Uchiha?” Tobirama would know that chakra even asleep, and while Izuna has better chakra control than Madara, it’s not enough to fool him.

(It’s never enough to fool Tobirama. Tobirama can feel when Izuna activates his sharingan _inside his own compound_ for training.)

Tobirama hears Izuna sputter, and wonders exactly what his problem is for three seconds, before walking towards him.

It’s not Hot Springs Country, but Izuna and Tobirama have never truly fought each other outside of their clan battles save when certain missions coincide. Judging by how Izuna didn’t step in as Creepy licked poison off his skin, Izuna was probably hired for the same assassination.

“Have a good night, Uchiha.” Tobirama murmurs as he passes the still staring Izuna.

Honestly, Tobirama has no idea what Izuna’s problem is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama, Izuna’s problem is you. You’re his problem. You in that strappy LBD that is now permanently stuck in Izuna’s brain.
> 
> Tobirama and Izuna had a No Good Bad Day in Hot Springs Country that Will Never Be Mentioned and subsequently will never fight each other in Hot Springs Country. They swore on their Anija’s and Aniki’s lives.


	94. Pause (Take a Breath)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The village is still in its infancy, and Tobirama and Izuna have just started exploring a _more than friends_ relationship. Still all very chaste~

Izuna’s eyes feel like he’s rubbed dirt in them. Quickly abandoning his struggles to open his eyes, he rolls over and pulls the kakebuton up over his head. His chest feels heavy and a sticky feeling in his throat rises up. He must have picked something up on his latest mission. Fuck the swamp lands, just, fuck them and their freaky plants and freaky smog and—Izuna groans as his shivers.

The world can survive without him for a day, Izuna’s sure.

* * *

The world, apparently, _can’t _survive without him for a day, and Izuna’s not entirely sure why.

Not even an hour after he first woke up, Aniki bothered him, then mothered him (not that Aniki would admit to that), and then Izuna had to suppress his cough long enough for Aniki to _go to work, Aniki, seriously_—

And afterwards he got several hours of well-deserved sleep.

Then Hashirama came bursting in, making his walls sprout little flowers and Izuna nearly screamed at his sudden entrance.

Wait.

No, Izuna’s _sure _he screamed at Hashirama.

Possibly.

The fever’s making it hard to remember the exact details.

Aniki comes back after that looking more frazzled than ever before, and Izuna hacks and wheezes but still manages to scold Aniki for being such a mother hen.

Silence falls again as afternoon turns into evening and Izuna’s chest aches_aches**aches**_—

A cold cloth wipes over his brow and he groans in relief. Blinking open his bleary eyes, part of that ache in his chest melts away at the white blob he recognizes as—

“To-Tobira—”

Fingers touch his lips and he closes his eyes again, a small smile tugging on his lips.

Cool, minty chakra floats on the peripheral of his own and selfishly Izuna grips and tugs until Tobirama huffs and lays down to become Izuna’s personal pillow.

“—took you so long?” Izuna mumbles out, face buried into Tobirama’s chest.

Fingers with water infused with that amazingly cool chakra on them slide against his forehead and neck and feel so, so amazing.

Tobirama huffs. “Madara spent the day fretting, messing up paperwork that I had to redo. Anija, because Madara was fretting, spent the day ignoring his paperwork and trailed after Madara.”

There’s a pause, and then Tobirama continues, softer. “I wanted to come sooner, but there was simply too much that needed to be done.”

Another pause, and even softer, “How can I make it up to you?”

Izuna’s half asleep and already it’s the best rest he’s gotten all day. It takes him a moment to understand he was asked a question, and then another moment to remember how to speak.

“Stay,” Izuna slurs, “stay with me? ‘s nice . . . ”

“Whatever you need, Izuna.”


	95. Break (Take a Breath)

Izuna feels better than ever, and he probably has his not-quite-boyfriend to thank for that. His presence over the last few days was very much welcomed, and if Izuna ever falls ill again, he wants his Tobira around.

(Because he’s certainly had enough of Aniki.)

He’s packed a bento in thanks, and heads towards the tower to give it to Tobirama, knowing full well that his albino probably hasn’t eaten lunch.

Knocking on Tobirama’s office door once in courtesy, he lets himself in.

“Tobirama! I made—what the fuck’s wrong with you?” Izuna cuts himself off, stopping just inside the room to stare at the sight Tobirama makes.

Head hung, only being propped up by his hand and even that’s questionable, eyes drooping and hand slower than normal.

“You’re si—”

“Don’t say it.”

Izuna sets his jaw. “Just because it’s not _said _doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Yes, but Anija can’t know; he’d make a big fuss over nothing.”

“Over nothing—?!?”

Izuna slams the bento onto Tobirama’s desk, then swipes all the papers he can manage to get his hands on (which is, not surprisingly given how much slower his rival is moving right now, most of them).

“Go home!”

“Izuna—”

Izuna’s already halfway out the office. “STAY RIGHT THERE I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!”

“But you just said—”

Izuna can’t hear the rest of that sentence, far enough away and mind focused on one thing.

“HERE’S YOUR WORK FOR TODAY.” Izuna says without preamble as he drops the messy bundle of paper onto Hashirama’s desk.

“What? Izuna?”

“Tobirama’ssicksoI’mtakinghimhome—okay bye!”

Izuna’s sure he’s never moved faster than that before, and he hears a squawk of protest but that really doesn’t matter, all that matters is—

“TOBIRAMA!”

Tobirama winces and Izuna tries again, quieter.

“Tobirama, let’s go, get you back under the covers and I can feed you your bento, it’s no problem, and we can—”

“Izuna, _what did you do with the paperwork_?”

“Hmm, you know, if you can’t figure that out right now then you clearly shouldn’t be working on said paperwork.”

The glare sent his direction isn’t the worst he’s ever received from Tobirama, so it slides right off him.

“Now, home then!”

Izuna’s probably the one who got Tobirama sick in the first place, and if Tobirama feels even half as bad as he himself felt, then Tobirama definitely shouldn’t be working.

Besides, Izuna thinks as he tugs a cranky and death glare-y Tobirama by the wrist home, he’s kinda cute when he pouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama: oh no, MY TOBI IS SICK, I MUST GO D:  
Madara: *grips him by the collar* YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH ALL THIS PAPERWORK NEEDING TO BE DONE  
Hashirama: THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR  
Hashirama: *furiously focused*  
Madara: . . . it's probably too much to ask Tobirama if he could get sick every day


	96. Surprise

Madara’s instincts scream at him as chakra flickers ever so lightly right outside the house. Stretching his senses out, because it’s way too damn early for anyone to be at the door—let alone Tobirama!

They’ve only been together for less than a month, and Tobirama’s on his doorstep. Focusing back on his sensing, Izuna’s chakra is steady and slow—fuck!

If it weren’t Izuna’s birthday today, Madara would attempt some very creative shurikenjutsu to wake Izuna up.

(Not that he’s _attempted _such a thing before. Never ever.)

Getting up, not bothering to even attempt at cover up his annoyance, he stomps (lightly, ever aware of Izuna’s sleeping state) towards the front door. He stands there and lets his irritation grow as he thumps his head against the back of the door.

It’s too early for this shit!

(Whatever _this shit_ is that Senju Tobirama has come to his door for.)

Sighing, Madara opens the door.

“Uchiha.”

“Don’t you think you should call me more familiarly now that you’re dating Izuna.”

“I do think that, but I’d hate to offend you.”

Madara rubs his face. “It’s too damn early, do whatever you want—why are you coming in—I didn’t invite you in!”

“Izuna lives here.”

“Yes, he does!” Madara hisses under his breath. “And he’s _asleep _like every other normal person out there!”

“I know.”

Madara’s brain sputters and he tries his best to reign in his temper because _Sage fucking dammit it’s too early for this shit_—!!

Tobirama helps stave off the aneurysm of the century by holding up a bag.

“Are you going to help me set up the decorations?”

Madara’s gaze flicks from the bag to Tobirama’s face—he’s serious about this!—and then back to the bag, where he can see colorful fabrics and paper sticking out of it, then back to Tobirama.

“What.”

That gets him a Very Unamused face. “It’s Izuna’s birthday today. You’re his older brother, shouldn’t you know this?”

“Yes—I don’t—” Madara lets out a really long sigh as he closes the front door. “Nevermind. At least you got plenty of red in there; that’s his favorite.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Tobirama: you know, I wake up an extra two hours early when it's Anija's birthday to prepare his surprise  
Madara: . . .   
Tobirama: it's rather difficult to surprise him; what with the floorboards so willing to whisper to him  
Madara: . . .   
Tobirama: it's worth it, however, every year, to have the entire walls and floor covered with colorful fabrics—makes cleaning up from the breakfast I make Anija much easier  
Madara: JUST HELP ME PUT THE STUPID BANNER UP  
Tobirama: wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed; you don't have to yell  
Madara: _!!!_


	97. Seeking Warmth (Seeking Warmth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Ewina!

Izuna streaks into the cave full tilt, not caring at all whether an animal might be inside or not. He’ll fucking fight a bear off with his bare hands to escape the _never ending flood_ of water that’s burst from the low-hanging clouds.

He’s going to take for-fucking-ever to dry out.

A shifting sound cuts his thoughts off and Izuna has a moment to panic because what if there’s snakes in here?!

A quick flick of his fingers and a small fireball lights up the cave and throws him and the other person in here with him in orange light.

Ah, ah _fuck_!

As if his luck really is that bad!

“Senju!” Izuna growls.

There’s no response. If Izuna’s sharingan wasn’t catching the minute changes in Tobirama’s chest, Izuna would think Tobirama was dead. Of course, Tobirama doesn’t look nearly as soaked as he does, but the slightly blue tinge to his lips doesn’t look so healthy.

“Hey.” Izuna tries as he cautiously steps towards his rival. “Hey, Senju, bastard, you dead?”

There’s more silence.

Honestly, Izuna’s wondering whether to poke Tobirama with a stick or something, because it’s getting _boring_—

His rival’s eyelids flutter and those red, red eyes seem to swirl around before settling on him. He makes a quiet noise that Izuna can’t parse the meaning before his eyes close again.

“What was that?” Izuna says, louder, because there’s no way that he’s going to let the Senju bastard leave him alone all fucking night. If Izuna has to suffer through the shitty storm, then so does Tobirama!

“. . . warmth.”

“And, what, you wanna cuddle or something for it?” Izuna scoffs, glad that his fireball has died and those red eyes can’t see his cheeks heat up.

No response.

Ahhh, fucking Senju!

“You try and stab me and I’ll fucking sit here in the cave with your cooling corpse for all I care!” Izuna yells at Tobirama as he goes to brace the much larger (and colder) man against him.

(Izuna very much cares. He’d rather not spend the night (and however much else until the storm lets up) in a cave with a corpse.)

There’s a faint noise and with an aborted flick of those pale—and nearly blue _what the fuck what the fuck—_fingers most of the water flies out of Izuna’s clothing. Izuna’s quick to capture those cold fingers in his grasp.

“C-C-Contrary to pop—popular opinion, I don’t—_shh_—wa-want all Uchiha dead.” Good, _Sage_, Tobirama sounds absolutely miserable, teeth chattering while he shivers against him.

“Save your fucking breath, Senju! I’m not saving you so I can have a conversation partner for the night!”

Tobirama hums, and Izuna wants to punch him, except that wouldn’t entirely be fair, given how fucking frozen the other man is, it’s seriously like hugging a damn snowman!

“Why are you so cold, anyways? Aren’t you water natured? Shouldn’t you be, I dunno, out frolicking or whatever in this storm?”

He gets a very withering glare that probably would be more effective if Tobirama weren’t squished up against him. Izuna simply raises an eyebrow at him.

“My body runs cuhh—_colder _than a normal person’s _because _I’m water natured.” Tobirama states like he’s reciting something that everyone should know.

Ah, he should have seen that one coming, given how, being fire-natured himself, he runs hotter than normal. He represses the urge to sigh.

He’s in for a very long night.


	98. Until Morning (Seeking Warmth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the last chapter, because Deeambles gave me a really cute idea to work with!
> 
> Thanks Deeambles!

Izuna yelps as cold, frozen fingers that _were _cupped between his own touch his unprotected stomach. He squirms a bit to no avail.

“Ah, fuck, Tobirama! Why are your fingers so cold?”

Tobirama simply snorts and flips his hands over so the backs of his cold hands touch warmer spots and send goosebumps all up Izuna’s sides.

“I believe I’ve already answered that question, but if you’re still confused I can spell it out so that your tiny Uchiha brain can understand.”

Izuna sputters and wonders whether he should shove the cold bastard off him, because _clearly _if he’s well enough to sass him then he’s well enough to not freeze to death. But then Tobirama flips his hands again and Izuna can’t help but hiss.

“If you’re so adamant about complaining, maybe you should do a better job at warming me up.”

Is . . . is that a challenge?!

Izuna bristles, because fuck him, fuck this cave, fuck this storm, fuck Aniki for pulling rank and sending him on this mission, fuck fuck fuck!

“_Fine_.” Izuna growls out as he concentrates on pulling his chakra in. “I’ll show you warming up!”

Izuna grips Tobirama under his chin and presses his lips to trembling cold ones and then breathes out, into Tobirama’s unsuspecting mouth, letting part of the heat that all Uchiha carry work its way down into Tobirama’s chest.

Immediately Tobirama looks better, eyes wide and face starting to color—probably from the new warmth.

Izuna pokes Tobirama in the shoulder, hard.

“Don’t think you get to keep that, Senju! I’ll be taking that back before you leave or so help me I’ll make sure it burns your lungs to a crisp!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Izuna, Tobirama’s blushing because you just kissed him, you moron
> 
> Also, I just imagine that the Uchiha’s fire nature is a little bit different from a “standard” fire nature, and they can temper the flame of it very instinctively, so basically Izuna shoves a part of his chakra into Tobirama that’s all _warmth_ like sitting in front of a fireplace, rather than _fire_ but Izuna still has some degree of control over it. 
> 
> It’s not a technique that’s very viable in battle because, well, Uchiha don’t go around kissing people lol


	99. Time Stands Still Here (Seeking Warmth)

Tobirama stares up at Izuna, his words barely registering over the warmth that’s suffusing through his chest. He lets his own chakra swirl beside the foreign chakra and lightly curl around it protectively. This feels _nothing _like healing chakra.

And Tobirama’s not giving it back.

No, Tobirama thinks as he focuses on how warm he is, how he can feel Izuna’s chakra crackle and spark in response to his own prodding at it, Tobirama’s not letting this go.

Tobirama would also like to see Izuna try and fry his lungs. Tobirama’ll cut him in half if he dares.

Instead of entertaining morbid thoughts on whether the Uchiha really does have control over this small bit of his chakra, Tobirama flips his fingers over and casually splays them across a flat stomach, eager to feel more and taking advantage of the fact he has an excuse to do so. If his pinky winds up dangerously low, well, Tobirama’s not of full faculties, being half frozen to death.

And somehow, Tobirama doesn’t think Izuna minds. It could be that Izuna keeps fidgeting with every change in position, could be because Tobirama can feel the shivers and twitches that probably aren’t all from the cold.

It could be that Izuna kissed Tobirama.

It could also be the embarrassment and low curl of arousal _that’s not his own_ he can sense.

It’s so much clearer to him than if he were to sense in his normal way.

(And it’s all for him, all because _he’s _pressed against Izuna.)

Tobirama sighs, content, and thinks about what he’s going to report to Anija once the storm lets up enough, because this night belongs to him.

(And Izuna. But Tobirama’s pretty sure Izuna won’t say anything about this, especially if he doesn’t get this bit of chakra back.)

So Tobirama continues to press himself against Izuna and his warmth, continues to suppress his chuckles as he maps out that smooth abdomen with chilly fingers, continues to enjoy this space that feels disconnected from the rest of the world.


	100. Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 chapters! WOW!

Izuna doesn’t fidget so much as smooth his hands over his haori every ten seconds.

Madara hates it.

“Izuna, stop. You look fine.”

“Fine isn’t good enough!” Izuna snaps back.

Madara takes a breath, because this is Izuna’s day, and he’s simply worried—fuck that.

“DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED OR NOT?!”

Izuna’s sharingan activates.

Madara activates his in response.

A moment passes as they stare at each other.

“Madara~! Mito kicked me out, so I’m coming to help you out with Izuna!” Hashirama all but kicks in the door.

Madara pinches the bridge of his nose.

What a fucking day.

“Oh! Izuna! You’re looking fine!” Hashirama beams, a drastic change from his pout he entered with.

“FINE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!” Izuna wails.

Someone please come and save him from his brother.

* * *

“You look quite fetching.” Mito says as she makes small adjustments to the _shiromuku _Tobirama is wearing.

“Fuck that! She means you look _stunning_, Tobes!” Touka grins from her perch by the window.

Tobirama huffs, but there’s a small smile that’s been there since Mito first came in to collect him. It makes Mito very happy to see Tobirama finally getting what he deserves, and he deserves a life partner who makes him happy.

The fact that it’s Izuna . . . well, Mito can be civil towards people she dislikes.

There’s a knock on the door and Mito cracks the door open to find Hikaku, holding the _uchikake_.

Oh, what absolutely stunning colors! Mito’s almost jealous.

The Uchiha fan stands out, but in a way where the designs and colors seem to swoop and accent it. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Tobirama close to tears, staring at the colors he’ll be wearing by the end of the day.

She pats Tobirama’s arm lightly and smiles at him.

His returning smile is shaky, but Mito thinks it’s one of his best smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Shiromuku_: a traditional, very heavy, white kimono  
_Uchikake_: a kimono that's worn like a coat - it's not tied with an obi and is worn over another kimono. This is supposed to drag along the floor.


	101. Growing Up

“Heh, what do you think about that, Senju!” Izuna looms over his rival who’s sprawled in the dirt.

His rival, predictably, says nothing, but glares with those bright red eyes. Izuna can barely stand still long enough to gloat; Senju Tobirama, in the dirt! And _he _was the one to bring the White Demon down!

“Well, since you don’t have anything to say”—Izuna grips that white hair (that’s so soft) and lifts Tobirama’s head up—“Then I suppose I can find another use for that mouth.”

Izuna shivers at the wet sounds as he pistons in and out of that delicious mouth, looking down at the narrowed, ruby eyes of Senju Tobirama.

“Fuck! It’s like you were made for this,” Izuna moans as he shoves himself further down that tight throat, “It’s like you were made to suck my dick.”

Izuna takes a deeper breath, the only outward sign he’s just woken up. There’s a delicious, half-second where the warmth of sleep still clings to him, where his dick throbs at the reminder of his dream.

Then the moment’s over, ice shooting through his veins.

Izuna’s not thinking about his rival! Not right now, not in his bed, not after having a dream like _that_—

Whining, Izuna rolls over to bury his head into his pillow, wishing to scrub his brain clean of his dream and delete any number of memories that caused his sharingan to cobble together his rival’s face like that—

Growing up _sucks_, Izuna thinks fiercely, then promptly grimaces at the reminder of his dream.

Izuna decides to blame Aniki, who pulled him aside the day before last to give him a very uncomfortable, awkward talk.

Izuna also decides to blame his stupid rival, too, who’s stupid face looks the way it does, even with the last little bit of baby fat clinging to his face.

Grimacing again at the turn of his thoughts, he decides that a cold shower is his first order of business. Then, it’s Aniki punching time.


	102. Concern (First Time for Everything)

“WHAT!?”

Madara zeroes in on Izuna at his exclamation. His shocked face morphs into horror and damn that Senju for having his back to him! He blows a quick fireball at Hashirama before darting over and plucking his little brother from the reach of the ever unfeeling White Demon.

“WE’RE LEAVING!” He bellows, keeping a firm hand over Izuna’s wrist.

Madara normally worries for Izuna, but when Izuna’s completely quiet on the run home, not even giving him the normal punch-by-punch of his fight with that white bastard?

Madara’s concerned.

And then when they get home, the first thing Izuna does after taking off his cape and his under armor is head for the kitchen.

“Izuna?”

“ . . . can’t even imagine . . . ” Madara hears Izuna grumbling under his breath as he turns into the kitchen.

Izuna’s pulling out the cinnamon, mochi rice already on the counter.

Madara reevaluates his timeline for brutally murdering Senju Tobirama. For Izuna to be _baking_, whatever that rat bastard said to his little brother must have really bothered him!

Wisely, Madara leaves Izuna alone in the kitchen, and instead goes to plot exactly how he might enact his revenge.


	103. Rage (First Time for Everything)

“Madara-sama!”

Madara nearly bites the messenger’s head off. The only reason that heads aren’t rolling is because it’s Hikaku. It’s the day after a major battle with the Senju, which typically means—

“Who’s fucking dying?” He growls out, already short fuse non-existent.

“Izuna-sama, he—”

Madara shoots up, already pulling his gunbai off its rack, ready to kill whatever or whoever is standing between him and his little brother. A look towards Hikaku has him continuing.

“Scouts saw him speeding towards Senju lands—”

“HE’S _WHAT_!”

Hikaku shoots him a disapproving look at being cut off again. Madara will feel appropriately chagrined later, after he’s dragged his foolish brother back.

Maybe if Madara breaks Izuna’s legs, he’ll _stay put_ for once.


	104. Confession (First TIme for Everything)

“Your brother’s on his way.”

“Yeah, yeah, I kinda figured when I didn’t give that scout a solid reason that he’d go tattle on me.”

“There’s another person—”

Izuna waves his concern off. “It’s probably Hikaku. That’s the only person who’d still be alive after delivering a message the day after one of our battles.”

Tobirama raises an eyebrow, but ultimately says nothing as he bites into another mochi. The cinnamon, a spice he’s never had before, adds a warm aftertaste that has just enough bite to leave him wanting more, not unlike the person who made them.

“They really are quite good.” Because despite Touka’s (and Anija’s) insistence that he has no social awareness, he actually does have some, but simply doesn’t care to be anything more than painfully polite, yet standoff-ish.

If he allowed himself to have even a shred of the personality his Anija has, he’d have people just walking up to him and talking to him and then he’d have to _talk back_—no, he’d much rather let Anija deal with the people. Besides, his perceived cold exterior means he can get the Senju favorable trade agreements _and _means he can be left alone to his research: a win-win.

Izuna beams like he swallowed the sun and Tobirama finds himself giving a small smile back. Then he gets punched in the shoulder as Izuna stands up. Tobirama huffs.

It’s a weird relationship they have, given how it all started many, many winters ago, when Tobirama found Izuna lying at the base of a tree, half-starved, and offered him the food he had on him if he could land a single hit on him in a spar, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

So, pointedly not looking at Izuna as he shuffles awkwardly a bit closer, he tracks those burning, bright chakra signatures as they approach. Then, as he senses them but a few dozen seconds away, presses a kiss to Izuna’s cheek before reaching out to one of his marked kunai and allowing his hiraishin to carry him away.


	105. Beginning (Seeking Warmth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation from [chapter 99](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031613/chapters/49465445)

In retrospect, Izuna really should have known better. While he had _hoped _that his threat of frying his lungs (which he can’t actually do) would be enough to deter his rival from making off with part of his chakra, he had resigned himself to snagging it back as soon as the clouds stopped pouring the entire ocean over them.

A kiss was needed to transfer the chakra to the other person, but not required to take it back, so Izuna wasn’t afraid.

Which was his first mistake. Because apparently Tobirama has some fucking incomprehensible chakra control and Izuna _felt _the way Tobirama’s curled around it peripherally like a fortress. And oh, Amaterasu, how weird it is to have a part of his chakra sending sensations and, and, and _feelings _back to him.

Izuna’s second mistake was thinking that his sense of when the weather would let up would be roughly equivalent to Tobirama’s.

It wasn’t. It wasn’t anywhere close. Tobirama had stood up, and in the precious moments Izuna could have attempted pulling his chakra back (which he knows now that he couldn’t have, even if he wanted to) were spent admiring the slightly loose curls of white hair that framed Tobirama’s face without his happuri on. The rain was still a very heavy downpour, more than what Izuna could hope to travel through, but Tobirama had up and, with a look back to him—that Izuna still hasn’t sorted out the meaning—had disappeared out into the storm.

He feels kind of betrayed, if he’s being honest with himself.

The vague feelings of _awe _and _curiosity _he’s getting from the little piece of himself in Tobirama is enough to temper the edge. It’s so new to Izuna, nearly overwhelming, since he’s never had even a modicum of chakra sensing ability before, and now he’s sensing. Granted, it’s only one person, but the distance hasn’t lessened the effects.

Izuna vainly hopes that Aniki won’t be able to tell how much he’s screwed up.


	106. Shared Experiences (Seeking Warmth)

Aniki never noticed. Or at least, left Izuna with the impression that he was simply glad to have Izuna back dry after a storm like that. There is the prerequisite mother henning but otherwise no outbursts at the fact Izuna’s chakra levels aren’t entirely up to snuff.

Izuna’s quite content to let that sleeping dog lie.

It’s honestly really interesting, and eye opening, to feel the myriad emotions that his rival feels. (Annoyance, usually in the early morning, fading to fond exasperation throughout the day, with bubble of happiness that make his chakra feel like it’s been shaken up.)

The evenings and nights are the _worst_, however. That’s when Tobirama seems to pointedly attempt to mess with his chakra. It’s not _painful_, per se, but it definitely keeps him up at night. On one notable occasion, he felt Tobirama’s chakra coil and tug and pull_pull**pull** _and release, likely in the form of some sort of jutsu, and Izuna had nearly sprinted over there, consequences be damned. He was left shaking, panting in exertion that was decidedly _not _his own.

Thankfully, most of the time it’s simply prodding, to which Izuna attempts to shift his chakra, and is able to—to an extent. It’s unsatisfying when he learns his limits rather quickly, however that seems to make Tobirama’s chakra hum, which lessens the sting a bit.

Tonight, however, tonight it seems like Tobirama’s testing something Izuna really wishes he wouldn’t. Doesn’t his rival know that you shouldn’t do _that _when there’s an audience?! Izuna can’t even blame his dick for rising when all he’s getting is a steady thrum of arousal and his chakra is being rubbed against like a cat would rub against a hand petting it and—

Izuna groans and finally gives in, rolling onto his back to grab his dick.


	107. Potential Misstep (Seeking Warmth)

“Let me scan you.”

Tobirama looks up to see Hashirama standing in the doorway of his room.

“What?”

Hashirama makes a frustrated little noise and pulls on his hair. “The trees! They’re whispering that you’re, you’re pregnant, or, well, not _pregnant _pregnant, because you’re decidedly male and as far as I know there’s really no physical way—”

“Anija, breathe.”

Hashirama takes in a breath. “The trees are saying that you’ve been ‘pollinated’. That can’t be anything _good_. Let me scan you.” Hashirama lifts glowing green hands and he’s got his serious scowl on.

Tobirama knows that it’s not a question, but a politely worded command. It’s interesting to note that the _trees _have picked up on his extra bit of chakra.

“Very well.”

Hashirama’s hands are on him before he even finishes his short agreement, and so he gets a front row seat to his Anija’s wide eyes.

“What—I don’t—Tobi??”

Tobirama says nothing, because he’s not sure exactly what he should say. The whole situation is still rather new to him.

“Tobi!” Hashirama’s tone shifts from confusion to scolding. “Did you steal—”

“I was _gifted _the chakra,” Tobirama cuts Hashirama off, angry even at the implication that he would do such a thing, “from Izuna.”

Hashirama looks stricken. “Gifted? Izuna?” He says in a small voice.

“Yes.”

And then suddenly Anija’s face clears, a deathly calm descends with a small smile, and all Anija says is, “Ah,” before leaving.

Tobirama looks down to where the tatami have sprouted and somehow manages to not be as upset as he normally would have been. Because now that Anija knows about his ritual courtship gift, it’s official.

Tobirama is sure that he can learn to appreciate his new partner, at the very least. There are several qualities that he’s been able to analyze and dissect over the years and it’s even better now that he has a bit of Izuna’s chakra.

Anija lets out a terrifying roar that Tobirama is sure all of Fire Country can hear.

Tobirama isn’t sure whether leaving Izuna in the dark about this was the right decision. Hm.


	108. Self-Contained Happiness (Seeking Warmth)

Izuna has a sinking feeling about this upcoming battle—the first since he gave Tobirama some of his chakra. It could be because of the faint amusement laced with worry that’s coming through the chakric bond.

There isn’t even an order to charge before Izuna finds his face full of an enraged Hashirama. Roots curve and reach for him and, Izuna’s not proud, but he panics. The fireball is weaker than usual, Aniki seems more outraged than he’s ever seen him, and Izuna is so, so very dead. He casts his eyes about, desperate to at least give his Aniki a smile, but his eyes are drawn to white, to red without sharingan.

Tobirama.

His world inverts and it feels like he got thrown into the koi pond but instead of water there’s ice and nothingness and he’s tumbling head over ass over head over ass and—

He throws up.

Even with his ears ringing and his body telling him he’s still spinning despite the solid ground he feels on his hands and knees, he knows who’s at fault.

“Fucking _Sage_, Tobirama!”

“If it makes you feel any better, that was my reaction the first time, too.”

Izuna groans. It doesn’t make him feel better to know, but it definitely goes in the ‘what the ever living fuck is Senju Tobirama’ mental folder, because what sane person would ever go through that once and _decide to do it again_? To get used to it? Fuck, Izuna’s getting sick again just thinking about it.

There’s a terrifying roar that Izuna’s not entirely sure isn’t the blood suddenly pulsing in his ears, but Tobirama’s sigh confirms it’s very much real.

“That sounds—”

“It’s Anija. And he’ll get over it.”

“Over what?”

“That we’re courting.”

Izuna wants to laugh. Wants to get up and go back to Aniki. Wants to forget the last couple weeks where he’s had to come to terms that Tobirama is as much a person as he is. Wants to ignore the bloom of happiness those words give him.

But honestly, all Izuna can do is wipe his mouth on the back of his hand and will the stars to stop circling his head.

Whatever Tobirama had done, it sure is a good way to keep someone off their guard.

“Are we?” Izuna says once he feels as though he won’t bite through his tongue attempting to talk.

There’s a hesitation, and Izuna glances up just in time to see Tobirama’s face color as he looks away.

“If you’d like, even though _you _were the one to gift me chakra in the first place.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s . . . a ritual beginning courtship gift. It’s used specifically so the couple can get to know each other better.”

Izuna’s stunned, because, “Uchiha share Inner Fire all the time.”

Tobirama seems to wilt at his statement, the hurt a felt thing, not a seen thing, and immediately Izuna wants to retract his statement.

“I mean,” Izuna adds hastily, “it doesn’t normally _feel _like this, though.”

“I have never experienced anything like this, either.” Tobirama admits.

And Izuna. Izuna _wants_. He watches as Tobirama’s cheeks color again and he feels the shy, almost hesitant brushes of chakra against his own in response.

Oh yes, Izuna can work with this. He grins up at Tobirama. He’ll give Tobirama a hug or something, once he can stand up again.

There’s a bright light as fire reaches above the treeline, and Izuna groans with Tobirama.

“We should probably go stop them from actually killing each other.”

“Eh,” Izuna waves off Tobirama’s concern as he sits up and pats the grass next to him, “There are better things to do and I’m sure they can survive on their own. For a few minutes, at least.”

Tobirama huffs, but sits down next to him with a shy smile on his face and bubbling happy chakra effusing their bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Tobirama: would it be okay to kiss you?  
Izuna: I just threw up but I'm not going to say no  
Tobirama: . . . *cups Izuna's hands together and calls water into them*  
Izuna: my future husband is so talented~  
Tobirama: *blushes and loses control of the water*  
Izuna: *big grin*
> 
> OMAKE  
Madara: HASHIRAMA (>WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING IZUNA?!?!<)  
Hashirama: MADARA (>TOBI SAYS HE GIFTED HIM CHAKRA!!<)  
Madara: HASHIRAMA!! (>WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER?!?<)  
Hashirama: MADARA!! (>THAT MEANS THEY'RE COURTING!!<)  
Madara: HA-SHI-RA-MA (>WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET TOBIRAMA DO THAT!!<)  
Hashirama: MA-DA-RA (>WHY THE FUCK DID _YOU_ LET IZUNA DO THAT!!<)  
Madara: *cries*  
Hashirama: *also cries*


	109. Ruffled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Lilili_cat, for shoving this plot bunny so far up and fast in my face it immediately got turned into writing

Izuna slams Tobirama into a tree and immediately kisses him.

“How long do you think they’ll be distracted?” Izuna manages to pant out between kisses as his hands deftly remove only the essential armor pieces necessary.

“Mmm, at least for a little while”—his rival tilts his head to the side and Izuna takes the opening for what it is to bite and suck on that _oh so sensitive_ neck—“if someone wanted sentimental sex then they shouldn’t have missed our usual meetup.”

Izuna huffs. Rude. It’s not like he had any choice in the matter! Not with the Elders keeping him under lock and key after the fourth ‘suspicious _potential _Uchiha baby’ birth outside the clan. It was _Tobirama’s _plan to have him build up his womanizer persona so that they could meet up with Tobirama under a henge periodically in different locations. Izuna had said that they could alternate who’s in disguise but _noooooo_—Tobirama had taken one look at his henge and _laughed_.

(Izuna had been very pissed off, and demanded to see Tobirama’s henge as well. Tobirama, the bastard, had shrugged and then Izuna’s arms were full of a rather busty petite brunette with big blue eyes who’s image didn’t waiver in the least when Izuna had checked it over with his sharingan.

Izuna pointedly did _not _pout for a whole week afterwards. Fucking seals. Fucking Tobirama. He _did _fuck Tobirama in frustration afterwards. So hah!)

Izuna groans as Tobirama works a hand between them.

“Oh, _fuck fuck fuck_—” Izuna chants as he ruts against Tobirama.

It really has been way too long.

“I think we only have enough time for one fuck, unfortunately.” Tobirama huffs right next to Izuna’s ear and he shudders from the stimulus.

Then the words catch up to his brain. He feels entirely justified digging his nails into Tobirama’s ass at that comment. Because again, rude.

Izuna’s going to ensure that his rival looks _properly _ruffled from their very _obvious _fight to the death since the battlefield is _highly _dangerous and they clearly take their own fight away from the rest of the forces because they’re just, _so _destructive.

And besides, it’s Tobirama’s turn to limp home.


	110. Oasis (Water Source)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, peppymint!

“You know, for a mirage, you’re still really pretty.”

“Mm.” Tobirama wisely does not point out that he is, in fact, very real.

The sun stroke and dehydration and this stupid _fucking _desert have very clearly worn down his rival. He can’t blame him, either, since he nearly went mad himself. If he weren’t able to sense where the small spots of water—the oases—were, he’d probably be attempting to chum it up with his rival too, if it meant water.

Tobirama doesn’t know what mission the Uchiha got that Izuna was sent on, but it was probably just as stupid as his own was—scouting in the fucking desert because some asshole merchant thinks the bandits are just hanging out here. But the pay will be good, for all that Tobirama actually did find the bandits and ended their little operation.

Izuna then places his bony elbows onto his shoulders and—

“Oof!”

“If you insist on not following the rules I laid out for you, you’re welcome to finish walking your way out of this desert on your own.” Tobirama snarls at Izuna, because he very clearly stated when Izuna clamored onto his back that his shoulders were not to bear weight.

Even with his layers and layers of clothing, his salve and his lotion, his shoulders feel like two giant, heat-radiating rubbed raw sore spots. Because they are. Sun-blistered and scabbed and blistered on top of that. He’s had to quit drawing water away from them because they’re more than likely infected.

While civilians might balk at drinking their sweat, they aren’t shinobi, aren’t stuck in the desert, and they certainly aren’t suiton users. Tobirama purposefully leaves some of the salt in the water he draws away periodically from his skin to store in his waterskin—he doesn’t want to have to use the precious salt he’s carrying if he doesn’t absolutely have to, but one can’t simply drink pure water if they’re dehydrated.

“No! Tobirama! I’m sorry! Please! I can’t, I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME—”

Tobirama clamps a hand over his rival’s mouth and feels his cheeks burn underneath the windburn already there. The very last thing Tobirama needs is for Izuna to start crying and losing even more water. He already feels bad for killing a few dozen cacti at the last oasis they stopped at.

(Stupid Anija and his stupid plants and how upset he gets when Tobirama pulls water from them.)

When Tobirama believes Izuna’s not on the verge of another desert-induced mental break, he lets go of him and turns around, grimacing at the clumsy way Izuna crawls on top of him.

He lets out a hiss as Izuna’s arms gently lay on his shoulders.

“’m sorry, Tobira.” Izuna mumbles as he buries his face into Tobirama’s neck.

Tobirama feels the heat creep back over his neck and ears at the familiar name and really wishes Izuna would _stop_—

“I pr’mise I’ll be a good husb’n from now on, dun worry’self Tobira.”

As he feels Izuna’s chakra even out in light sleep, he withholds a sigh of relief. If he hadn’t fallen asleep, Tobirama would have _made _him sleep.


	111. Disgust (Water Source)

“—and then I woke up just beyond the treeline of the Fire Country forest.”

Madara feels his eye twitch. He takes a big breath. This is the healer’s house, he can’t yell here, he’ll get kicked out. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t _desperately _want to.

“You mean to tell me that, after you had gotten hopelessly turned around in the desert, that you stumbled upon an oasis and subsequently lost your waterskin to a _fucking _desert coyote pack, then”—Madara takes a moment to fucking breath _fucking don’t lose your temper_—“had a desert wedding ‘under the midnight sun’ with Senju _fucking _Tobirama and then were carried out of the desert on his back?”

His little shit of a brother simply shrugs and smiles from where he’s sitting on the bed.

Madara gnashes his teeth. “I would hit you, but I don’t want to touch those gross and awful looking blisters.”

He gets a withering look shot at him from one of the medics, but Madara doesn’t care. He would. Also, he absolutely wasn’t prepared for the state, both physically and mentally, Izuna would come back from the desert in. Losing his waterskin to some fucking dogs? Predictably Izuna. Losing his gods-forsaken mind and believing _Senju Tobirama_ came to the rescue? Marrying him? Madara could snort in disbelief. 

Madara does feel a little bad about those blisters. Despite having gone roughly knowing what might happen and having some supplies, Izuna’s still sporting large welts and sunburns in stripes where his clothing had slipped. They’re _oozing _and Madara’s pretty damn sure some of them might actually scar. Fuck, what he wouldn’t do to go back in time and _strangle _that merchant when he even _suggested _the mission.

Somehow, Izuna had a few shirts and daggers of the bandits he was supposed to eliminate, so they’ll still get paid—Madara _will _make sure of it.

(Madara _is _going to strangle the next person to even _think _the word desert in his vicinity.)

“Oh! You really should get a good look at the one on the back of my hand!” Izuna suddenly says and thrusts his hand out towards his face.

Madara shrieks and bristles at the offending limb before darting off, Izuna’s cackling following him.

Izuna can’t get very far! The medics are still treating him, giving Madara a much needed edge to get away from the sand covered scabs and sores.

Bleh.


	112. Rumination (Water Source)

Despite how vehemently his Aniki told him, and how Izuna still isn’t quite sure what _exactly _when on while he was in the desert, he is damn sure Tobirama was there. He’s willing to bet his sharingan on it.

(And wasn’t that terrible, that he was so out of it that he hadn’t even used his sharingan to double check like he normally does for illusions.)

Izuna’s sure as hell never going back, not for all the riches in the world.

Fuck the desert.

His disjointed memories and experiences are so maligned that he was surprised to learn he’d lost weeks, rather than days. That would explain why Madara looked like he’d seen a ghost, when Izuna had fumbled his way back through the gates. Then he turned a lovely puce as he rushed towards him and took a closer look at his injuries.

Izuna thankfully has _that _memory in picture perfect quality.

(Even if he did feel woozy afterwards because he used his sharingan. Worth it.)

The last thing he can reliable say happened was those damn desert coyotes making off with his waterskin. He remembers the shouting, the chasing them down, then that frigid night where Izuna thought his toes would fall off.

(Who knew the desert got so cold at night?)

There’s no fire that night—no, that’s not right. There was a very large bonfire. But he was hiding from the bandits, trying to make sure they didn’t know he was on to them. So the fire isn’t real. But he remembers the heat, the way arms wrapped around him as he sat between someone’s legs.

No! Cold, dark, no fire, no other person, just him, and his teeth chattering so much he could hardly chew his heavily spiced food.

He remembers a harsh sting woke him up at sunrise. Or was it sunset? Did he crawl underneath that rock formation for a day? Two days? He knows now that the sting he felt was from a scorpion, but at the time all he felt was fire lacing up his calf, the swelling and twitching making it hard to walk.

Which is why Tobirama had carried him.

But no, that couldn’t be right. Tobirama would be the last person the Senju would send to the middle of the fucking desert. What, with all that paleness (more than an Uchiha, even!) there’d simply be too much—that would be why his Tobirama had thrown him off his shoulders. Had explained to him in a cool, calm voice that he wasn’t entirely unscathed either.

Hm.

Logic says there’s no way Izuna should have made it out of that desert, no way he could have alone, meaning that there _must _have been someone else. And, logically, with Tobirama’s sensing, he could have found him and then . . . what, gave him precious water and married them under the blazing sun during the cold, cold night—

Izuna shakes his head as the memories overlap, leaving him with a headache and no real answers to his burning questions.

_Did _he marry his rival?

(He does want to, but since there’s no peace, clearly he has to make sure Tobirama has no time for anyone else and attempt to kill him with every fiber of his being therefore securing his place at the front of Tobirama’s thoughts.)

Why can’t he reliably remember the events of the _weeks _he’d spent out in the desert?

(_“Severe dehydration can cause intense hallucinations even discounting the heat stroke and mild starvation, Madara-sama.”_ The medic had told Aniki after he’d asked for his initial report in the healer’s house.)

And then the biggest question of all:

Why did Tobirama help him?

(Izuna tries to foolishly squash the hope—that makes his eyes burn and heart race—that Tobirama had saved him because he feels similarly, that his feelings are reciprocated.)

He flops back onto his futon and stares at the ceiling. Perhaps he’ll ask Aniki for a spar, to show him that he’s _completely fine_ and fully recovered now, and to get his mind off of his morose thoughts.


	113. Business as Usual (Water Source)

Tobirama’s the one who files mission reports for the clan. Truth be told, he’s the only one to ever go back and look up some detail from one of them since he first implemented the system.

So Hashirama never truly noticed that his report was more taciturn than usual. Hell, once Tobirama showed up, Hashirama’s worry doubled and he made no small nuisance out of himself as he dogged his steps during his recovery.

His condition wasn’t nearly as bad as his rival’s—at least mentally it wasn’t. Physically, well, they both were probably out of commission for at least a month, given how bad some of his burns are and how his muscles still ache. There’s only so much medical chakra can do, after all.

The Uchiha is probably worse off; he doesn’t have a veritable chakra titan for an older brother who can _also _shove chakra into him willy-nilly and heal most things without any semblance of precision.

He pauses in his thoughts and grimaces down at the paperwork he hasn’t touched for a few minutes.

Why is he worrying over his rival?

(He once again infuses chakra to sense clearer and winces at the headache but still looks towards the Uchiha compound. Izuna seems to be stationary, while Madara—at a glance, because anything else will hurt right now—is pacing. Izuna’s chakra seems to expand and contract in rhythmic little cycles, so it’s entirely likely he’s thinking deeply.)

Clearly, his rival is physically fine, since his chakra levels are back up to what he would consider normal levels.

Is he worried for Izuna’s mental state?

(Asides from bouts of confusion, Izuna’s emotional state—when he’s checked—seems stable, if decidedly Uchiha.)

Maybe he should go check on him in person. He’s a decent sensor, and can dampen his chakra enough to pass for a squirrel (those were some fun experiments) so it’s not a question of if he could, but rather if he should. Should he go for Izuna, to make sure the incompetent Uchiha healers have found and treated everything to the best of their abilities? Should he go for himself, if only to stop himself from wasting any more time thinking about Izuna?

Tobirama takes a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose and asks himself when the last time he slept was. Anija always did say he got the worst sorts of ideas into his head when he hadn’t slept. Scrubbing his hands down his face, he realizes that he can’t remember, but that’s hardly ever mattered before. Plenty of ideas of his that Anija’s thought were great came from a three day research binge.

His hands have secured a field kid to his hip before he even realized he’d made up his mind to go.

Just a peek.

Just a peek at his rival, and then he’ll come straight back home.


	114. Happenstance (Water Source)

Izuna stares.

Blinks.

And Senju Tobirama is still there, perched on his windowsill.

Huh.

The healer did say he might have lingering effects from his _lovely _time in the desert. She said something about hallucinations but Izuna can’t recall if they’re supposed to decrease with time or become more vivid or only happen during the night or—

Izuna can’t remember, is the point, but there’s definitely a Senju Tobirama in his room and that takes top priority.

“Is this real?” He whispers, because clearly his hallucination would know whether it’s real or not.

“You’re still hallucinating?” Falls out of that pretty pretty mouth Izuna’s looking at.

Izuna sits up and takes a moment to stretch before answering. “You’d be the first, if you are one.”

Senju Maybe a Hallucination Tobirama nods and comes closer, hands out and almost shaking, now that they’re in front of Izuna’s face and he can notice it.

Actually, all of Tobirama seems to be worn down; there are deep bags under his very enchanting red eyes and his shoulders are hunched up and there’s a furrow between his brow. Izuna should make his husband sleep. Then there’s a light touch distracting him, fingers on his temple and then there’s cool, soothing chakra entering him.

Sighing, his eyes flutter closed without his permission and his hands rest gently on Tobirama’s wrists.

Then suddenly he remembers: Tobirama did this exact same thing to him in the desert! He grips those hands now and nuzzles into them as he did before and hums in appreciation.

“I wondered . . . ” Tobirama starts and stops, so Izuna opens his eyes to show he was listening, “How much do you actually remember?”

Izuna licks his lips. The memories he’s been pouring through are still very scrambled, and so he admits, “There’s a lot of memories, but the timeline’s all screwy and I _know _some things couldn’t have happened—”

“Like what?”

Izuna can’t keep himself quiet even if he wants to, and he _so _desperately wants to tell _someone_—

“Asides from thirty feet centipedes trying to take my right arm and a big blue beetle attempting to eat my face”—Izuna looks away from Tobirama’s face—“there’s also . . . ”

“Also?”

Izuna _does _whine then and take a deep breath. “There was a marriage. Our marriage. There was a sun in the middle of the night and it poured heat onto us and told us we were married.”

“I . . . see.”

He probably doesn’t, Izuna thinks as he sighs.

“How are your shoulders?”

That gets him a raised eyebrow. “You remember that?”

“I remember getting thrown off of you. Thanks for carrying me.”

Tobirama snorts. “You had a very bad scorpion sting that had your whole leg swollen and I didn’t have enough water to attempt to extract the toxins. Carrying you was the only option to get you out of the desert alive.”

And that—that’s Izuna’s other question.

“Why?”

Izuna’s gaze holds Tobirama’s red gaze as Tobirama shrugs. Suddenly it makes sense. He was saved because—

“You like me.”

Red eyes widen and Izuna tightens his grip, pulls on those hands attempting to escape and they both wind up falling back onto his futon in the resulting struggle.

“I don’t—”

“You doooo~” Izuna crows as he swings his leg over Tobirama and continues to pull him closer. “You like me! I like you! And we’re married!”

“I hardly think that the moon marrying us counts.”

Izuna doesn’t hear a _no _to marriage. He smirks into Tobirama’s hands he’s pulled up against his face again and lets himself blush.

“We can find a temple tomorrow, for now, sleep.”

That gets Tobirama squirming away, which makes Izuna cling and smack him a few times on his chest.

“Sleep now, other worries tomorrow.”

“I don’t think—”

“Shh, shh, shh! No thinking, sleeping.”

There’s silence, and Izuna takes that as a win as he lays his head on Tobirama’s chest.


	115. <<REMOVED>>

This chapter has been removed at my discretion as it's come to my attention that it doesn't exactly fit in with the overall themes of this fic. I apologize to those looking forward to reading a new chapter only to be blindsided by what I had posted. That being said, instead of deleting the chapter, I moved it. I absolutely cherish the comments I get and it feels very wrong to delete so many. 

**There was non-consensual somnophilia (rape) in the removed chapter and therefore if that bothers you, please do not look at the comments section.**

I will continue to tag as I go and will continue to be very grateful for people helping me out, as I'm not perfect and cannot be expected to catch everything.

Thank you everyone who's read, commented, left kudos, or subscribed! It makes me very, very happy to share my writing with you all!

Please see [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058829/chapters/50095055) for the removed chapter.


	116. Crappy Morning (Water Source)

Madara doesn’t particularly enjoy mornings. He never has, never will. As usual, he infuses chakra, pointedly to give himself a few more minutes under his covers. Izuna’s chakra is steady, which isn’t surprising given how he’s actually (thank the Sage) been sleeping in while he’s recovering from his terrible desert mission.

A tiny flicker of chakra next to Izuna’s has Madara waking up more.

For fuck’s sake.

Izuna, somehow, has brought another squirrel inside the house. It’s been years since he’s done so, years since he brought anything into the house that he deemed ‘needed love and attention’.

(Begrudgingly, Madara has to thank Tobirama for giving his little brother something to focus on rather than attempting to make a pet out of every creature he got his grubby little hands on—no matter how dangerous or large said creature was.)

It’s too early for this shit.

Rubbing his eyes, he makes his way to Izuna’s room by rote and opens the door.

Blinking doesn’t change the sight of his little brother curled up on top of one lightly snoring Senju Tobirama.

Madara closes the door and turns away.

To the medic, then.

Because clearly Madara’s having hallucinations, too.


	117. Hectic Mid-Morning (Water Source)

Madara is glad his face is, by default, scowling. It means that getting unfortunate news can make him appear unaffected, which is a very, very good thing right now. Because Madara is screaming inside.

But the medic’s house is not the place. Nor is it where the person he really wants be screaming at is.

He thinks over his conversation with the medic as he stomps home.

(_“Are hallucinations catching?” The medic had repeated his question back. _

_He hated when they did that, but he nods and watches the medic avert their gaze and then look back to him._

_“I-I don’t think so, Madara-sama.”_

_Madara’s scowl didn’t change, and he thanked the medic for their time._)

Which means that Senju Tobirama really is being used as a body pillow by his little brother. Unless squirrels can mold chakra and henge. Taking a deep breath in, the exhale is full of raw fire chakra, and he can feel the heat of it warm his face.

Fuck, he doesn’t want to think that his last brother actually _is _married to _Senju fucking Tobirama_—wait. He hasn’t seen any documents or terms—!!

Shit!

Madara picks up his pace because if Tobirama is here, he’s not in the Senju compound. And if he’s not in the Senju compound . . . he shivers. _Hashirama _might come looking for him.

Scratch that, Hashirama will definitely come looking.

And Madara’s not going to let this marriage end up unfavorably for the Uchiha! Since there’s no paperwork, Madara will _make _paperwork.

And perhaps backdate it a few months, just to be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara is so Done™ but he looks out for his clan like a good clan head


	118. Good Afternoon (Water Source)

Izuna sighs as Aniki wakes him up with some high pitched and very loud screeches. Using all of his lifetime’s worth of experience, Izuna tunes him out to watch Tobirama, who he’s very much still snuggled up next to, slap a hand over his eyes and groan.

“Morning, sunshine~!” Izuna beams as he props up on an elbow.

That large, pale hand raises just enough for Izuna to receive a very Pointed Glare before it drops and that pretty mouth is moving.

“What is Anija doing here?”

Izuna frowns, before turning his attention to the pounding and screeching.

“—YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE!”

“Madara”—there’s a pause, something large suspiciously getting hit, then Hashirama’s voice, sweeter than honey—“You can’t stop me~”

“HASHIRAMA!”

“Shit.” Izuna says and winds himself closer around Tobirama. Perhaps he’ll be saved from being planted to death.

Tobirama’s arm falls over him and makes a very warm, fuzzy feeling bubble in his chest.

Hashirama crashes into the room with none of the grace of a shinobi and throws a scroll that Tobirama easily catches.

“Tobiiiii—”

“Anija.”

Izuna reads the scroll along with Tobirama and can’t help but gape. When—When did this happen? Wait—HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?

Tobirama lowers the scroll and looks at Hashirama.

“What?” Tobirama finally asks to break the tense silence.

Hashirama breaks into big, gross sobbing. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL YOUR ANIJA YOU GOT MARRIED? IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED TO TAKE THAT DESERT MISSION? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME—”

“Anija, please leave. I’m sleeping.”

“NOOOO, TOBI!”

Izuna valiantly tries to keep his smile contained when Tobirama ignores Hashirama’s wails to tuck him under his arms. Then, seeing that he’s being ignored, Hashirama stops crying to turn a vicious glare onto him.

Izuna can’t control his flinch.

Tobirama untangles an arm to flick the bird to Hashirama over his shoulder.

Hashirama starts wailing again.

Izuna allows himself to be pulled in tighter to his _now fully legal and has been for a few months??_ husband and let his Aniki, who looks like he’s been dumped into a rather big, leafy bush, deal with Hashirama.

With all his lifetime’s worth of experience, he once again tunes out his older brother’s muffled yelling as he drags a, once-again sobbing, Hashirama out of the room and enjoys the peace of just him and Tobirama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama: I’m worried about Tobi :C  
Madara: *sigh*   
Hashirama: why are you so okay with this?!?  
Madara: oh, I don’t know, maybe because IZUNA CAME BACK FROM THE DESERT PRAISING THE GROUND YOUR BROTHER WALKS ON  
Hashirama: really~? :3c  
Madara: YES.  
Hashirama: huh, guess Izuna loves Tobi then~  
Madara: *spit-takes* LOVES?!?
> 
> OMAKE  
Tobirama: the date on this is wrong  
Izuna: *looks* no, that’s about the time I started saying I’d marry you off-handedly  
Tobirama: *blushes*  
Izuna: wait a minute . . . does that mean we haven’t consummated our wedding yet?  
Tobirama: what  
Izuna: TONIGHT’S GONNA BE OUR WEDDING NIGHT~♡  
Hashirama, from downstairs: *angry tree noise* D:<  
Madara, also downstairs: *disgusted noise*


	119. A Letter to Anon <<NOT A CHAPTER>>

First off, this is not a chapter and I will be posting the next chapter as soon as I finish typing this up.

This is a letter for Anon. You know who you are.

I woke up this morning and saw your comment, and cried. I read it again, and cried again. (Thinking about it now is making my eyes water.) I was (and still continue to be) overwhelmed by your comment. (I may even print it out and hang it up.)

This letter is a way for me to begin to show you—as much as I'm able to—how much you moved me.

(Also because I cannot be sure you watch your comments for a response, though your wording leads me to believe that you do. Either way, we're here now.)

There is, without a doubt, no better feeling than to be appreciated, supported, and encouraged. From the bravery of you stepping forward when you thought you might be rebuked, to this comment full of warmth and understanding and show of support, you've definitely made a very meaningful and deep impact on me. I've had to carry tissues around all day because thinking about this makes me feel so incredibly happy that I start crying all over again. (Typing this up, I'm crying.)

**When my choices were questioned, especially anonymously, the last thing I expected was, after I had deliberated and made my decision on the issue, to be thanked and told that I was appreciated for my efforts. I didn't know how much I needed to hear those words until I _did_ hear them.**

I never thought that my writing would come to mean so much to myself and other people. In the beginning, putting a smile on the face of the friends I shared it with gave me joy, and kept me writing. Then the views went up, people started leaving comments, and writing has become more therapeutic and rewarding to me than ever before.

I am currently fighting for disability, as I cannot work and have been suffering from rather severe medical issues the past couple years. I'm essentially stuck at home since moving exacerbates my situation. I have a lot problems yet no _real_ solutions because my medical team hasn't been able to properly diagnose me yet (another battle I'm fighting). I'm still hopeful that I can receive the aid I need. I state all this not because I want pity, but because my days _aren't_ filled with work, and are instead filled with reading and writing (and video games, when my hands are agreeable).

I got tired of holding onto my ideas in collections of half-formed notes and little snippets of what could be a longer story. And this fic collection was my answer. I continue to grow and enjoy the challenges of giving enough details to build a background, but without the feeling of _needing_ to write long expositions. It has also given me the freedom to try new styles, new techniques and see what works, see what doesn't. Sometimes I write a chapter and all the comments say one thing, and that was definitely _not_ what I had intended, and it makes me go back and examine things closer to try to figure out why there was a disconnect. Other times comments show that I got my point across and those always make me smile.

Thank you for coming forward to show your support for me.

So, for you Anon, I hope you will continue to enjoy my chapters and my works during your long commute. It makes me really happy knowing that I'm helping make your day better.

CS

P.S. Madara's shit at paperwork, but he tries (he's still better than Hashirama)

P.P.S. In related news, Hikaku's pretty decent with a brush


	120. Wake-Up Call (Wake-Up Call)

Izuna wakes up the moment a small body lands on his stomach and he deftly catches his attacker’s wrists with one hand and disarms the kunai with the other.

There’s a beat of silence, and then:

“Kagami,” Izuna sighs out, eyes still closed, “we talked about this; no assassination attempts before ten in the morning.”

More silence.

Izuna can feel Kagami trembling in his grasp and his brow furrows. Normally by now Kagami would be shouting how _‘Today is the day Tobirama-sensei becomes all mine!’_ or even _‘HYAAAAH’_ or, Izuna’s personal favorite _‘Tobirama-sensei deserves a REAL Uchiha!’_

Izuna knows it’s all in jest, otherwise Kagami wouldn’t be shouting _‘SNEAK ATTACK’_ when he attempts to murder him. But the silence is new, and also slightly worrying. So Izuna, with a grimace, because he really _did _mean _not before ten in the morning_, cracks open his eyes.

Only to see white hair and red eyes.

His husband is now a child, and is attempting to kill him. Just like the good old days.

Tobirama’s struggles increase when Izuna checks his surroundings with his sharingan for a genjustu. Then Tobirama stills and Izuna’s quicker than him, fully grown and years more experience, and slaps his hand over Tobirama’s mouth.

“You little brat, stop that!” Izuna snaps at his miniature husband, knowing full well that he was about to spit some water at him.

Tobirama bites his hand.

Izuna despairs that he actually wishes it _was _Kagami trying to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always Izuna waking up to Tobirama trying to kill him. Hm. 
> 
> Perhaps it wouldn't happen if Izuna wasn't so fun to sic Tobirama on :D


	121. A Couple Sizes Too Big (Wake-Up Call)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Kuroteishi!

Tobirama’s attempted four types of traps, two acts of ‘unintentional destruction’, and one grapple since waking up this morning next to Uchiha Izuna.

He will land something. Eventually.

The sleeves of his too big long-sleeved shirt fall past his fingertips again. Angrily, he pushes them back up, bunching the fabric above his elbows in a bid to _keep it there_.

At least his pants had a drawstring he could wrap around a few times and tie off, the legs simply folding over the re-tightened bandages around his calves. Tobriama doesn’t mind how it looks; he’s a shinobi, fashion is overrated and he can still move around easily with the extra fabric.

His unwelcome Uchiha chuckles as they walk towards the beacon that is his Anija. He glares. Izuna smiles down at him. It’s irritating.

Izuna kneels down and very, very slowly, with both hands, catches his hand. Tobirama fights off a blush at the intimate gesture and he has seven different moves in the front of his mind that could get him away if this turns out to be a grab.

Instead, those hands tug the fabric of his sleeve down, undoing his work, which nearly makes Tobirama wrench his arm back, but Izuna simply started folding up the material neatly until it rested above his elbow in a thick band. Then, just a tad faster, he reaches for his other sleeve and treats it the same.

And then Izuna’s straightening, beginning to walk again towards a large building. Tobirama takes a moment to stare at his back, well aware that the other could probably catch anything he threw right now at that seemingly vulnerable back, but for the time being, it’s not as if Izuna’s done anything _bad _to him.

Perhaps . . . he can give Izuna the benefit of the doubt, even if he _is _an Uchiha.

Perhaps, once he reaches Anija, everything will make sense.


	122. Pleasantly Unsurprised (Wake-Up Call)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone was thinking it and this chapter was written BEFORE I even posted the first chapter in this verse soooo
> 
> am I that obvious~ ;3c

“Aww~” Hashirama coos as he sees his baby brother looking more baby than he has in years, “Tobi~!”

Tobirama looks vaguely startled when he rushes forward with a beaming grin and hugs him tight. He doesn’t huff and say _‘don’t call me that’_ or turn away, or question his sanity—

Instead he gets a soft little, “Anija?” muffled into his haori where Hashirama squished him in a hug.

This might be the best present Hashirama’s ever gotten, except—

“It’s not my birthday, Izuna.” A little crease forms on his brow. Because as awesome as this is, and how amazing it feels to have his baby brother all squishy and that he can wrap his arms completely around without being maimed, it’s not the Tobi he’s used to.

Huh.

He almost misses the ‘old’ Tobi. How odd. Before now, it’s always been nagging and stern huffs and cut-off emotions and exasperation—

“He’s not a gift, you dumbass leaves-for-brains!” Izuna squawks, higher pitched and more ear piercing than his older brother. “He woke up like this and can’t remember himself. I thought bringing him to you would at least validate my story a bit.”

Then Izuna grimaces. “And would get us into his lab so this little guy can attempt to find the right notes and fix this.”

Hashirama blinks.

Then laughs until tears form in his eyes. “His lab? I haven’t been keyed into his wards in _years_! I’m sure they’ve escalated in severity from when we were kids and the worst that would happen is you’d lose your eyebrows and a fingernail or three.”

Izuna gapes at him.

Little Tobi purses his lips like he’s preparing to defend himself (and his choice of wards), but that could also be his _‘I could potentially learn something from this if I people correctly’_ face. They honestly look the same to Hashirama and they only got more similar over the years.

Either way, Hashirama most definitely wishes Izuna good luck as they leave.

He’ll keep an ear out for the explosion.

In the meantime, seeing Tobi so small makes him suddenly and viciously want to find their Senju family photo album.


	123. Realized Potential (Wake-Up Call)

Everything does not make sense.

Tobirama doesn’t know what to think with all the information that he’s gotten. He apparently really _is _married to the Uchiha, and Anija grew up to look so much like Father, if it weren’t for his grin and notably longer hair, Tobirama wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference, chakra notwithstanding.

Anija has been pulling away from him these past few weeks, as far as his own memory is concerned, to sneak out (badly) and meet with that boy who screams _I’m an Uchiha_ with every fiber of his being. (His chakra even agrees.)

But when his Anija saw him, he moved so fast to draw him in to his arms, to squeeze him to his chest.

Tobirama had fought tears back, because that’s exactly what he’s been missing. Instead, he allowed the closeness and listened to Izuna talk.

He’s excited to be walking towards his—well, the _older _Tobirama’s—laboratory. He couldn’t hope to contain the skip in his step. Because if there are strong wards on it, it won’t be near other buildings, in case of collateral damage. And if it’s not near other buildings, that mean it must be it’s OWN building and the possibilities of how big it is, how many experiments it houses, how many notes and books and—

“Izuna-sama! Tobirama-sensei!”

Izuna sighs next to him.

Sensei?

Another Uchiha, around his age judging from appearances, trots up to them. There’s a moment of silence, where Tobirama looks around and checks his exit strategies.

“What’s happened to sensei? Is it a new jutsu? An experiment? Can you teach me?”

“Kagami, not right now.” Izuna says, but Tobirama’s caught on what the other Uchiha said.

Teach? He knows he’s good with children, has a few of the Senju children who are old enough to hold kunai toddle after him when he walks through the training grounds. But to have a—have a student?

Kagami gives Izuna a dark look, one Tobirama knows intimately well—Kagami’s jealous.

“I will . . . see you later today, Kagami.” Tobirama says and hopes his acting isn’t too far off from his older self. “I need to go to the lab.”

When Kagami turns to look at him, his face loses all traces of animosity and he dashes in close to give him a hug before running off, waving as he goes.

Tobirama lowers his shoulders from where they had bunched up by his ears because of the unexpected hug and looks at Izuna incredulously.

“I teach?”

Izuna gives him a soft smile at his disbelieving tone. “Yeah, yeah you do, and you’re _brilliant _at it.”

The honest compliment makes a blush rise to his face, and he looks away.

“T-To the lab?”

Izuna hums, but doesn’t remark. Tobirama’s thankful for the small mercy and takes half a step closer to him as they walk in thanks.


	124. To the Lab (Wake-Up Call)

Izuna wants to scream and bury his face in that fluffy, fluffy white hair and never let go of his husband-turned-child. He does NOT remember it being like this when he was younger (perhaps the happuri? Or maybe he simply wasn’t focused on his rival’s _hair_). Either way, he deserves a godsdamned _reward_ for not cooing at how fluffy it looks, or playfully tugging it, or running his fingers through it because it looks _so soft_—

It even bounces a little as he walks.

Izuna can’t handle it.

Even though it makes Tobirama tense a little, Izuna flicks his sharingan on periodically so maybe he’ll dream of this instead of previous battles.

As they near the lab, Izuna’s sharingan activate and he counts it as a win that the only thing Tobirama does is glance his direction quickly, as if to say he knows Izuna did that.

(Izuna _was_ paying attention when Tobirama was talking about normalization and how ‘repeated and prolonged exposure in a non-threatening environment’ plays a big role.

Tobirama had been talking about how he got Hashirama used to spiders by first drawing them on every available surface and escalating it by throwing in _actual _spiders within the drawings on the wall—Izuna found it fucking funny.)

Izuna’s whole focus is on his tiny Tobirama as they stop in front of the door. There’s a moment where it seems Tobirama might cry, because he’s definitely teary-eyed as he looks around and then to him in astonished glee.

Then small fingers are reaching out and Izuna doesn’t tense, but he definitely is ready should the wards not recognize Tobirama.

“_Wow _. . . ”

Izuna grins as Tobirama runs his small fingers over the wood, clearly feeling the myriad wards protecting this place. He simply sits back and watches as a hand comes up to scrub at watery eyes and rub a runny and sniffling nose.

“This is mine?” Tobirama’s voice cracks on the last word.

“Completely.”

Tobirama makes an effort to smile, and it’s just as watery as his eyes, but the sight of him so clearly _overjoyed _makes Izuna’s eyes water a little.

Which is no good, because he wants these memories not blurry!

Izuna blinks away the added moisture and refocuses on Tobirama, who’s now looking at the wards with adoration, and it’s clear to Izuna what the issue is.

“Listen, Tobirama,” Izuna starts in a calm voice, because he can _see _Tobirama’s hackles rising, “If there’s not anything inside there that catches your attention, we can come back out and look at the seals.”

Tobirama waivers.

“If you think the _wards _are so cool, just imagine what might be _inside_.” Izuna sing-songs.

Izuna breathes out a sigh of relief as Tobirama’s chakra deactivates the wards without any fuss.


	125. Time is Confusing (Wake-Up Call)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urgh, I'm dealing with what I hope are simply allergies due to the rapid change in weather.
> 
> Bear with me as updates might come less frequently as I wait for my body to finish battling whatever it is it's battling. 
> 
> (and yes, I'm going to do my best to stay hydrated ^u^)

Izuna watches on, sharingan catching all the micro-expressions his husband’s older self would never make.

Izuna watches on, as Tobirama dashes from one end of the lab to the other, muttering and clenching notes a little too tightly in his eagerness.

Izuna watches on, as there’s little confused noises, little crows of triumph, little sounds of awe as Tobirama fully explores the space.

Izuna watches on, chin propped on his hand and seated at an out-of-the-way counter.

Then Tobirama’s pulling a stool over to sit across from him, a stack of papers hitting the counter with a faint _thump_.

Tobirama clambers onto the high stool and settles with a faint huff.

“There’s just _so much_ I can’t help but—” Tobirama cuts himself off, eyes darting away and then back. “I believe these are the notes that my older self was working on.”

Izuna nods and focuses on the papers with way too much ink and not enough white space on them.

“They’re notes on trans-spacial intra-temporal memory fluctuations—”

_SNAP!_

Izuna flings himself away, off the stool at the sudden sound and stares.

“Tobirama!”

Tobirama—_his _Tobirama, older and more handsome than cute and _alive_—makes a noise when he spies the notes.

“I had wondered why I got the strangest sense of deja-vu when I finished my notes.”

“Tobirama,” Izuna says again, voice watery and full of relief as he steps closer, not even daring to touch.

That gets him a smile, the one reserved just for them, and Tobirama simply shakes his head and uncrosses his arms. Izuna greedily takes the invitation and plasters himself to the front of his husband.

“I missed you!”

Tobirama pulls back with a small noise. “My younger counterpart didn’t take my place?”

Izuna stares at his husband. Then laughs at the absurdity because his husband just did _who knows what_ with those seals of his so of course his first thoughts are on whether his experiment worked or not.

“He did,” Izuna starts and raises his hand to stop Tobirama from interrupting him, “but he wasn’t _you_.”

Tobirama’s brow furrows. “But there’s no way that he _couldn’t _have been—ah.”

Izuna knows the moment Tobirama understands, because a beautiful blush spreads across those wonderful cheeks.

And there’s the smile Izuna’s _really _missed.

“So.”

“So?” Tobirama repeats as he turns away and begins to flip through the notes.

“Wanna tell me where _you _wound up?”

“Approximately a day before our fathers attempted to kill us on the river because our brothers are idiots.”

Izuna blinks.

“Wait a minute . . . is _that _how you knew my name?!”

Tobirama shoots him a secretive smile over his shoulder.

“I quite enjoyed learning to love you before I’d even met you, Uchiha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: wait, you remember all that happened to your younger self when you were here?  
Tobirama: yes and no; I didn’t remember that I remembered until I returned here  
Izuna: I’m going to regret asking, but WHAT?
> 
> OMAKE  
Hashirama: *rummaging*  
Hashirama: ah-HA  
Hashirama: time to look at all the cute baby Tobi pictures~ :3


	126. Lost But Found (Lost But Found)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone, for your patience! I know, it's been nearly a week, and some fics update on a weekly/bi-weekly basis but this fic's been updating nearly every day and it all went DEAD so thank you everyone for not pressuring me, I _have_ been thinking about all of you and this fic while I felt like my face was gonna pop and I was a drooling mess over my desk.
> 
> (Also, please note that unless I'm _really_ out of it, I will always attempt to reply to comments c:)
> 
> Thanks, kitsunesongs!

Izuna wakes up with hands pressed against his face. He does what any good shinobi would do and pretends to be asleep. The hands are large and calloused, but gentle. Oh, they’re really gentle . . . _mmm _. . .

* * *

Izuna wakes up the second time alone, and when he turns his head, a rag falls off his forehead. Is he sick? That would explain why he’s not in his own room. Though Izuna’s never seen any healing room like this. It’s almost like a personal bedroom; books on a tall shelf, a desk with several stacks of paper on it give the room more personality.

Whatever the case, Izuna’s glad it at least gives him something to look at, because he doesn’t think he could get out of bed right now even if he tried.

Man, he’s tired.

* * *

The third time Izuna wakes up, it’s to the door opening.

“Sorry, Zuna, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Immediately Izuna’s eyes flick open, only for his sharingan to sputter and fail to activate. What—!

“Honestly, trying to access your chakra before you’re ready? Madara was right; you _are _a terrible patient.”

The familiar name, coupled with the apology, his sharingan not working, his _rival _saying all of this, mentioning Aniki—

“What a clever trap I’ve fallen into.” Izuna bemoans his situation. Aniki will never let him live this down!

“Trap?” _Senju fucking Tobirama_ says, with a stupid eyebrow raised and his lips—is that a smile? It certainly looks like a smile and fuck oh fuck it looks _good_.

“Please come here?”

Tobirama tilts his head, but diligently comes closer and sits down next to him, placing one hand on his forehead and the other rests lightly on his shoulder. He nearly whines. This is, an impossibility, a complete trick, but oh, his heart nearly bursts in his chest and he can’t help but smile.

“How are you feeling?”

Oh man, Izuna doesn’t even care this is a genjutsu. He can’t activate his sharingan right now, his chakra coils feel like complete shit, but he’s got his rival here, right where he’s always wanted, and the simple domestic shit is just what he’s always craved. Might as well enjoy this little charade while he can.

Fingers brush his bangs out of his face and Izuna opens his eyes he hadn’t realized he closed. He sighs and pushes his head against Tobirama’s thigh.

Then a small frown appears on that gorgeous face and the fingers on his face push chakra into him and Izuna can’t help the instinctual flinch. It makes Tobirama’s brow furrow.

“You look better, but I haven’t seen you act this way since we first started dating.”

Fuuuck, they’re dating??

Tobirama holds up his hand, showing off a solid silver band before huffing out a small laugh. “We’re married.”

Oh, did Izuna say his question out loud?

But he’s already moved on, already laser-focused on that small little band. And then the tears come unbidden as he tugs his husband—_husband!_—by the front of his yukata with all his strength.

Strong arms rearrange them to a more comfortable laying position and Tobirama shushes him and runs his fingers through his hair and lets Izuna cry over him until sleep finds him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I didn't intend for it to get this sappy, my fingers slipped
> 
> Also, this reminds me heavily of that [one video [youtube]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiviQfLyQX4) of the man who wakes up after his surgery and hits on his own wife and is super surprised they're married C:


	127. Married Happily Ever After (Lost But Found)

“—MARRIED!”

Madara pauses as what surely is Izuna’s voice filters into the office. He infuses chakra and—yep, Tobirama’s chakra is right there next to his little brother’s. Clearly Madara missed the memo that said it was ‘bring a distraction into work’ day.

Perhaps they won’t come this way, won’t make that left instead of a right—

No.

Not today.

Madara looks up with despair etched into every fiber of his face. Because he only _just _got Hashirama on task, only _just _began to have him focus! Why in the name of everything holy is Izuna coming?!?

“ANIKI!”

Madara doesn’t even try to hold in his disparaging sigh as he deflates into a very unamused puddle on his chair. It’s too late; all his hard work is now obsolete, if the way Hashirama’s fiddling with his brush is any indication.

But Madara’s always prided himself on making sure his clan, his _family_, is okay.

“What do you want, Izuna?”

“I’m _married_.”

Madara blinks. “Er, yes, you are.”

“To him!” Izuna points at Tobirama, who’s standing in the doorway looking entirely too amused for Madara’s liking.

“Izuna?”

But Izuna’s already gone, shouting his undying love for Tobirama to Hashirama, who, admittedly, looks rather shocked, but after a moment latches onto the distraction with gusto.

Madara stares as Izuna’s yelling reaches loud enough volumes that he wonders whether they’ll have to rename the godsforsaken village. Because there’s nothing ‘hidden’ about this at all, and Izuna might actually be breaking some Uchiha clan records.

Tobirama sidles up next to him and is watching on with a weird sort of fond amusement.

“What happened with Izuna?”

His half-hearted question gets him a confused look, which automatically has him straightening in his chair.

“His head injury; and then subsequent concussion and fever that broke last night.”

Madara stares.

“From his mission?”

Madara stares harder.

And then Tobirama’s posture straightens as clearly he realizes what Madara’s silence means.

“Ah, I thought Izuna had informed you.”

Madara feels his eye twitch.

“The medics said he should be fine within a few days.”

“I’M GOING TO THROW _BOTH _OF YOU INTO THE KOI POND!”

“HUSBAND, NOOOO!” Izuna flies to Tobirama’s side and begins pulling him out of the room. “I know the best ways to hide from Aniki when he gets into these little spats of his!”

Madara fumes as he catches the tail end of Izuna’s remark as they move away.

The office falls silent and Madara really thinks he should throw something. Anything. Preferably his annoying little brother who’s _pulling this shit again_—!!

Hashirama opens his mouth.

Madara chucks a brush at the idiot’s head.

“Ow! Madara!”

“SHUT UP. FUCKING SIT DOWN AND SIGN YOUR DAMN PAPERS.”

Madara sits _himself _the fuck down, because it’s either that, or hunt down Izuna and really give him a reason to have a concussion.

After a beat or two of silence, in blissful, wonderful silence, Hashirama opens his big mouth again.

“You know, it’s even cuter a second time around.”

That’s it, Madara’s going to burn this whole village down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna, upon waking up the next day: I didn’t do anything embarrassing, did I?  
Tobirama: no more than usual  
Izuna: oh, good
> 
> OMAKE  
Hashirama, the next day: MY FOREST OF DEA—I MEAN, LOVELY GARDEN! HALF OF IT’S _GONE_ DDD:  
Madara, somewhere else in the village: ehehe~ >:3c


	128. Disaster Waiting to Happen (Surprise)

“What are you two doing?”

Tobirama simply arches his brow as _both _Kagami and Izuna jump from where they’re crouched over—something. That something is now completely out of sight and Tobirama has to be somewhat impressed at their speed.

Two pairs of dark eyes are filled with varying degrees of guilt and Tobirama narrows his gaze.

Kagami looks down and starts digging his toes into the ground.

Izuna meets his gaze a bit more confidently.

“Well?”

“Nothing!”

“I’m not telling you!”

Tobirama resists the urge to just hiraishin behind them and take whatever it is. Instead, he sighs and decides to make an educated guess.

“Are you teaching Kagami that one fire jutsu again, Izuna?”

Kagami’s head snaps up and—

“Yes!”

“No, of course not!”

Kagami and Izuna share a look.

Tobirama gives them a very, very dry look.

Staying silent for a few moments longer yields no more insight, so Tobirama sighs and turns away.

“Very well. But this time I won’t be setting the lake down on the _fire_.”


	129. Secretive (Surprise)

Tobirama thinks nothing of the semi-illicit jutsu meeting he walked across between his husband and his student until he opens the door to Madara’s office and sees all three of them huddled around the desk.

There’s a squawk, a flail, and a _‘Sensei!’_ upon his arrival.

Tobirama raises his eyebrow as papers go flying off the desk in a flurry, scrolls disappearing into hastily closed drawers and more looks of guilt.

“Am I . . . interrupting anything?”

He gets the same reactions out of Izuna and Kagami as the last time he came upon them, and Madara crosses his arms. The mulish set to his face means that Tobirama’s not going to be very successful in getting any information.

Especially since both Izuna and Kagami seem to be deferring to Madara.

“You _were_, so if you’ve satisfied your curiosity on where your husband has gone, you may go now.”

Tobirama narrows his eyes at Madara’s sharp tone.

Madara stares right on back.

Tobirama sighs, because Madara is right; he did wonder where his husband went, and _why_—but clearly he’ll have to try a more subtle approach to figuring out the Uchiha and what they’re up to.

Perhaps his brother will know.


	130. Suspicious (Surprise)

“Anija, do you know—”

“Tobi!” Hashirama cutting him off isn’t anything new, but the surprised tone and the sudden shuffle around to stand in front of his desk are new.

Tobirama viciously tamps down on his curiosity as to what his anija is standing in front of, shuffling with his hands clasped in front of him.

“Why are you here?”

Tobirama’s eyebrow comes back down into a frown.

“I . . . work here? But—”

Hashirama turns around towards his desk, pushing something off it to land with quite an impressive _thud _behind it, and then there’s a stack of hastily collected papers being thrust into his hands. A quick look down and Tobirama recognizes the trade agreements he wrote up only a few days ago. He figured it would take Hashirama at least a week and a half to get to it; having it now seems highly suspect.

“ . . . thank you?”

Hashirama beams at him and pats him on the shoulder before going back to his desk and sitting down, clearly struggling with something by his feet.

There’s an awkward pause as Tobirama taps the stack of papers against his palm and half turns to leave. But then he remembers why he came in the first place and—

“Anija, do you know what’s going on with the Uchiha?”

“What do you mean?”

“A few days ago I thought I saw Izuna teaching Kagami that one fire jutsu again, but I just saw Madara with Izuna _and _Kagami in his office. I wanted to know if you knew anything.”

“I don’t know anything about anything! I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Tobirama tilts his head and stares at his brother with pursed lips.

Hashirama’s gaze quickly darts away from him.

“Very well.”

Tobirama hears the heaving sigh his brother gives as he closes the door to his office.

Clearly whatever is going on—and his heart clenches at the thought that this could be very, very bad—his brother is involved in it.


	131. Culmination (Surprise)

Tobirama concentrates on the four signatures inside Hashirama’s house. They seem relatively calm, despite what they’re probably talking about. Opening his eyes, Tobirama takes a deep breath.

“Ane-ue.”

“Tobira.”

Mito doesn’t seem surprised that Tobirama is here, has found his way to her side during one of her sporadic shopping runs. He takes a cursory look at the vendor—a new fabric merchant, probably from Wind Country given the man’s looks.

“Ane—”

“Hold this for me, would you?”

Tobirama diligently drapes the deep blue fabric over his arm and starts again.

“I need to—”

“And this one too, please.”

The red fabric hurts his eyes to look at, with the sun reflecting off it, but it finds a home on his other arm. But then Mito is taking it back, and passing some coin to the merchant who bows and thanks her.

Tobirama grits his teeth.

And then they’re walking towards those chakra signatures that seem to be flickering and running around. Clearly Madara can sense they’re on their way and are hiding any evidence of their plans.

“There’s something going on with the Uchiha.”

Mito glances at him. “I haven’t noticed anything different. Perhaps you’re mistaken?”

“I’m not. And Anija is in on whatever it is; they’ve been dodgy for the past week—”

“Who, exactly?”

“Madara! Izuna! Even Kagami!”

“Those idiots.”

The softly spoken non sequitur makes Tobirama’s anger take a backseat to his curiosity.

“Mito?”

She turns around to face him as they reach the door and she gives him a lovely smile while shaking her head.

“You’re going to open this door, act surprised, and then go put on that lovely new kimono before anything else.”

Tobirama finally looks down and notices that yes, the fabric he’s holding is in fact a kimono, before meeting Mito’s gaze as the rest of the sentence catches up with him.

“Surprise?”

Mito simply gestures towards the door.

Shinobi in general do not do well with surprises and are prone to stabbing, fleeing, exploding, or otherwise reacting in ways that are rather unpredictable because of their ingrained instincts. All in all, it’s just a bad idea and never any fun for all parties involved.

Tobirama opens the door, expecting the worst and planning for the reality to hiraishin away, only to be rooted to the spot by the blooming bluebells in the entrance way, the swaying sunflowers he sees further in, the flickering flames of varied colors contained in small glass candle holders, but most importantly by the shouting of the four standing underneath a large, open scroll that reads:

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOBIRAMA_

Tobirama blinks.

Then the moment passes and Mito is pushing him to go get changed and telling him that his birthday party isn’t going anywhere.

Tobirama’s heart feels four times lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Mito:  
Hashirama: I DIDN’T TELL HIM ANYTHING, I SWEAR
> 
> OMAKE  
Tobirama: Kagami, these flames are very impressive  
Kagami: *blushes* well, Izuna-sama helped a little!  
Izuna, under his breath: yeah, a little; suuure, like me single-handedly carrying the whole lake bucket-full by bucket-full to put out your little fires was _‘a little’_


	132. Purposefully Dumb

“You want to _what_.”

Izuna shrugs at Tobirama’s not-question. He doesn’t need to repeat what he said here, not while ears could be listening in.

(Izuna’s checked their meeting spots several, several times over. This one is their most secure one, but that doesn’t mean that there couldn’t be anything or anyone listening.)

Tobirama pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

“That’s got to be the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard, Izuna.”

“Well, when you stay your blade from taking the killing blow”—Izuna nearly snorts, since they haven’t been trying to kill each other for a _very _long time—“I’m sure Aniki will understand that we need to strongarm the clan Elders more for peace.”

“You’re asking me to intentionally wound you, quite severely.”

If Izuna didn’t know any better, he’d mistake the force behind Tobirama’s voice as arrogance. Lucky he did know better, then.

He sidles closer, wrapping his arms around that strong torso and crossed arms and lays his head best he can on Tobirama’s shoulder. A huff tickles his hair and then those arms are uncrossing, pulling him in closer.

“You’ll be right there, Tobira, to heal me once you hurt me.”

Arms tighten around him, and Izuna knows Tobirama’s thinking about his plan, trying to piece through his logic and think of alternatives.

“Besides, it’s not like I’ve never been hurt before.”

Tobirama pushes him off, and Izuna makes a VERY LOUD noise of disapproval.

“If I’m so much as a hair’s width off mark, you’ll wind up dead. At _my _hand.”

Ah, now they get to the real source of Tobirama’s hesitance.

So Izuna gently grasps the hands on his shoulders and gives them a light squeeze, saying words he never truly believed he’d ever say to Tobirama when they first met.

“I trust you.”

And it’s true. Their second meeting went very similarly to their first meeting, except Izuna tripped and went careening into Tobirama’s side while Tobirama was otherwise preoccupied with a rogue, clanless shinobi, sending them both over the waterfall. Izuna, who can't swim and can really just slowly sink and drown, had clung rather effectively to Tobirama, gripping and pulling on his clothes. In his waterlogged and panicked state, he had blurted out that at least he’ll get to die next to the prettiest person he’s ever seen.

Izuna’s still not entirely sure why Tobirama saved him, but after that meeting, and after their next clash on the battlefield, Izuna found a small scroll, tucked into his sash. After fuming that he hadn’t noticed Tobirama place it on his person, he read it and the rest is history.

(Of course, they made their system much better than their older brothers’. Who goes to the _same _spot and the _same _time to meet someone for a _secret _meeting?)

Those beautiful, expressive red eyes meet his own, and that’s enough of an answer for Izuna, and he closes the space between them for a kiss.


	133. Hide and Seek (Hide and Seek)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Tobirama birthday verse got me in a birthday mood lol

“Aniki!”

Madara is long past the point of caring. Clearly today he’s just not going to be able to get any work done. Wow, yeah, okay, he can just get paid to be the ill-advised counselor to a bunch of—

A package of what suspiciously appears to be mitarashi dango is gently placed on his desk, interrupting his thoughts.

“You know, Izuna, today is _your _birthday. Usually people give you gifts, not the other way around.”

Izuna simply hops on top of his desk, ruffling the papers there a bit.

“You don’t get all of them! They were a gift from Auntie.”

Dango from Auntie? Then, “Why are you _sharing _them with me, then?”

Every Uchiha got dango—and they were the best damn delicious dango _period_—from Auntie on their birthday. Because Auntie was every Uchiha’s aunt. That’s how it’s always been.

(And perhaps always will be, because Auntie still looks the exact same as she did back when Madara was much, much younger.)

“Can’t I just want to share the dango I got with my older brother?”

Madara’s eyes haven’t left the neat package of dango since Izuna had said they were Auntie’s. “Any other dango, sure. But _Auntie’s_?”

Madara’s not stupid. One simply does not share Auntie’s dango with anyone. Not unless—

“What have you done this time?”

Izuna looks at Madara, unamused.

“Okay, then what do you want?” Because that’s the only other reason someone might share Auntie’s dango.

Izuna glances off to the side and licks his lips. Ah, the winner.

“Where’s Tobirama?”

For fuck’s sake.

“Why do you want to know?” Madara hopes it’s not a sex thing.

“This morning Tobirama left me a note that said if I found him by the end of the day, he’d show me something I ‘didn’t even know I wanted.’”

Madara _desperately _hopes it’s not a sex thing.

“And you thought coming to me was a good thing to do?”

“You _are _a sensor.”

“ . . . ”

“Listen, Aniki—”

“I’m pretty positive that I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever game you’re playing with your husband.” A little too late for that, Madara thinks as he purposefully _doesn’t _glare at the closet door across the room that contains one Tobirama inside.

“Tobira said I could use anything to find him—”

“USE!”

“—and you’re my older brother!” Izuna carries on like he didn’t hear Madara’s outraged squawk. “Besides, I’m giving you something in return, aren’t I?”

Izuna nudges the box of dango that’s so, so tempting and Madara scowls harder as he carefully enunciates his next statement.

“I’m sure that Tobirama would be more”—ugh—“_rewarding _if you find him on your own.”

“You think?”

Madara nods.

“Huh, I suppose you’re probably right.”

And just like that, Madara says goodbye to those wonderful dango. Izuna’s going to now leave and take them with him—and now Madara’s hungry _and _has loads of paperwork to do.

Izuna doesn’t immediately dash out after he spoke, much to Madara’s surprise, but instead pulls out one of the individually wrapped skewers and places it on the desk.


	134. Annoyance (Hide and Seek)

“You nearly sold me out for dango?” Tobirama calmly walks out of the closet holding a small box and shakes his head at Madara.

“And you nearly sent my brother into a frenzy on his birthday.”

Tobirama doesn’t even attempt to deny it. “He’s cute when he’s all worked up.”

And now Madara knows entirely too much. He grimaces.

Then Tobirama’s reaching out towards the dango and Madara snatches it up with speed that has a pale eyebrow lifting.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say—”

“JUST TAKE THE STUPID TEA AND LEAVE!”

Silence.

“Very well. I’ll make sure to replace what I use.”

And then Tobirama’s gone, off to torment his little brother by his absence and leaving Madara with a stash of rare tea gone. How Tobirama even found out he keeps it in his office closet for particularly trying afternoons (like _today_, which now he _doesn’t have any_—) is a complete mystery to him.

Tobirama even stayed in the closet to eavesdrop, simply closing the door instead of pulling that stupid jutsu out his ass to _leave_ when Izuna had come, the bastard.

Why couldn’t Izuna have fallen for someone who didn’t aggravate him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Madara, it is the prerogative of little siblings to do anything and everything to annoy the older ones~


	135. Preparation (Hide and Seek)

Tobirama unhurriedly walks towards Izuna’s favorite spot in the forest. Well, it’s really a large swath of land that has a large lake that feeds several small rivers that flow in and around the marked area for the growing village that makes the perfect spot for throwing around high-level katons.

Huh. Perhaps he could see if Anija would be willing to mark some training grounds near where the rivers flow slower and less dangerously.

For now, he focuses on Izuna’s crackling chakra as it darts around as he sets up his surprise.

Tobirama knows that as soon as the sun sets, Izuna will get discouraged from not finding him, and come out here to mope and potentially blow some fireballs in frustration. Instead, he’ll find Tobirama.

And the picnic he’s setting up.

He wouldn’t have needed to go take Madara’s tea blend if there wasn’t an unexpected freeze that made his supplier contact him saying he’d be a week late. Tobirama understood, but on the positive side at least he could pay Madara back tomorrow.

The finishing touch is a candle holder in the shape of a dragon, made of rapidly-cooled glass that makes it very sturdy. This wouldn’t be something that Tobirama would have bought for Izuna, had it not been for the placement of the candle (inside the dragon’s mouth, making it appear to breathe the small flame) nor for the few painted reflective planes inside the dragon (which make the holder almost _glow _when a candle is lit).

It happened to inspire Tobirama, so he bought it.

Now all he has to do is wait for Izuna to come.


	136. Together in Flames (Hide and Seek)

Izuna needs to regroup and think about this.

Gnashing his teeth, he fluctuates his chakra in irritation because he _knows _Tobirama can feel it wherever he might be while he sprints towards his favorite spot.

The sun’s just starting to set, which means his frustrated fireballs will look even more spectacular as they light up the night sky.

A small flicker of flame draws his attention and—

“Tobirama!”

Any annoyance he feels disappears as he gets closer and notices the simple picnic set up. Although—

“You bastard, making me chase you around the village when you weren’t even in the village!”

“I was in the village, and came out here.”

Izuna scowls.

“What, did you expect me to stand still and not do anything for hours?”

Izuna flops down, setting his head on Tobirama’s lap with a small huff and not-so-subtle plea for head scratches.

Tobirama pats his head and lifts it off his lap.

“Don’t you want to know what your gift is?”

Izuna sighs but sits up anyways with a nod.

“Watch me closely.”

And with that, Izuna’s sharingan flares, and he feels an amused smile tug on his lips as Tobirama backs away from the blanket.

“This is the extended version; I’ll do the practical one after.”

And then Tobirama’s hands fly through seal after seal, Izuna capturing and counting forty-four—no, forty-five!—before a thin stream of fire chakra spins and ignites when it passes by the candle. A veritable blaze of fire causes their whole side of the lake to light up, the dragon coiling up as flames drop from it over the lake. With a roar, it shoots flames upwards before extinguishing itself on the top of the lake.

Izuna’s lips are on Tobirama’s, tasting the last remnants of smoke and _fire_, as they tumble to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picture this fire dragon as thinner, more coiling than Tobirama's signature dragon, befitting the element just a bit better
> 
> OMAKE  
-After the hour long kissing-  
Izuna: holy shit  
Tobirama: here's the more practical seal sequence  
Izuna: *cackles*
> 
> OMAKE  
-Meanwhile, in the Tower-  
Hashirama: oh, Madara! look at the pretty light! :D  
Madara: FFS   
Madara: IZUNA DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW ANYMORE FIRE JUTSUS >:O
> 
> OMAKE  
-In the Uchiha Compound-  
Hikaku: *shivers* I just got a really bad feeling all of a sudden


	137. Welcome

Izuna stops in his tracks as his house comes into view.

Tobirama’s out on the engawa, sitting cross-legged reading a scroll, but starts to stand up when his gaze catches Izuna’s.

Then Izuna’s running, crying out to his husband, pushing his speed as though he hadn’t just run for the full day just to make it back to the village even a little bit sooner.

Tobirama catches Izuna around the waist, spinning them a few times as the momentum carries them. Izuna laughs, clinging to his husband and gets rewarded with a simple, soft smile.

“I’m home!”

Tobirama shakes his head, and attempts to put Izuna down. Izuna clings harder, wrapping his legs tighter against Tobirama’s waist.

“Izuna—”

“I’M HOME!”

A sigh.

And then: “Welcome home.”

Izuna grins, and kisses his husband.


	138. Misplaced Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Lilili_cat!

Izuna stares at the blaze with something akin to pride. That, by far, was certainly the biggest fireball he’s ever made! It’s not his fault that the trees were a liiittle too close to the training dummy.

Someone should be around shortly.

Everybody knows that Uchihas don’t put out fires, after all.

“Izuna-sama!”

Ah, speak of the only Uchiha who actually does put out fires.

“Hikaku!” Izuna turns up the charm, because if ever there’s someone who could call him on his bullshit, it would be Hikaku.

His perfectly acceptable and jovial tone gets him a bland look.

“Izuna-sama—”

“Izuna!”

Izuna beams at Tobirama, who’s already calling water to extinguish the smolders.

Smolders?

Looking at Hikaku, he notices his hands in the ending position for an earth jutsu. Of course, Hikaku’s one of the non-fire natured Uchiha.

“I didn’t know you knew earth jutsu.”

Hikaku sighs at Tobirama’s statement. “_Someone _has to.”

And then Tobirama’s lips quirk and a chuckle—a _chuckle_—escapes those lips.

Izuna’s brow furrows at Hikaku’s answering smile.

Oh _hell _no.

Izuna marches up to Tobirama, pulling him down by the front of his shirt to mash their lips together.

He pulls away to send Hikaku a smirk. Tobirama is his Senju!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hikaku then rolls his eyes at his ridiculous cousin.
> 
> I just love Hikaku, okay? And I hc that he's not only the one (1) sane Uchiha, but he's also one of the few non-fire natured Uchiha, putting him further out on the "weirdness" scale in Uchiha terms. Oh, he knows and is competent with fire jutsus, he just trains his earth jutsus more, because otherwise the whole compound would have been nothing but ashes.


	139. Hugs Can Fix a Lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Momo!!

“We need to talk.”

“Pleasure to see you too, Izuna.”

Izuna takes that as an invitation and stomps into his boyfriend’s office, crossing his arms and staring at a calm Tobirama, who calmly moves to calmly put his stupid brush down calmly!

That’s fine, Izuna can wait.

Izuna’s cleared his whooooole afternoon.

“Would you like to sit?” A stupid calm eyebrow raises.

“No. No, I would not!”

More silence.

“Then—”

“HOW COULD YOU?!” Izuna can’t contain it anymore, and slaps both his palms down on the desk.

“I’m . . . sorry?”

“Yeah, you’d better be!” Izuna sniffles before crossing his arms again. “Meeting secretly with Aniki.”

“I don’t really know how you learned about that”—Tobirama holds up a hand as Izuna opens his mouth again—“but Madara simply wanted to know if the gift he was thinking about getting Anija would be well received.”

“Yeah, well, I still don’t like how he looked at you!”

Tobirama’s eye twitches, the first real sign of annoyance Izuna’s seen.

“I called him an idiot, because no matter the gift, Anija would still blubber and cry over it, regardless of whether it was a rock Madara had simply just picked up right outside his doorstep or not.”

“He is a big idiot, isn’t he?” Izuna grins, annoyance fading.

“There are few who could beat him and Anija in terms of idiocy. I happen to have the pleasure of talking to one today.”

Izuna’s brows knit together, but Tobirama’s distracting, standing up and making Izuna trace those graceful movements as he comes around the desk.

Tobirama tugs him closer, and Izuna goes with the motion, drops his forehead onto his boyfriend’s chest with a dull thud.

Then he feels those strong arms wrap around him, and Izuna melts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at some point Tobirama’s going to call you out on the whole ‘sitting in the tree right outside his office window’ thing, Izuna


	140. Sacrifice (Sacrifice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, RuinKnight!

Tobirama enjoys sunrises, and normally he finds them very peaceful.

This morning’s would be no different, save for the fact that it’s meant to be his last.

The Senju have always been a superstitious lot, and Tobirama knows his birth was seen as a curse, given his coloring. At first, Tobirama hadn’t thought anything of the missions the Elders gave him, and completed them one after the other despite his young age. As he grew older, the missions grew harder and harder, and at some point, Tobirama simply _expected _the intel he was given to be completely untrue.

But now he sees that it was simply his clan trying to get him to pass on his curse by dying.

The Elders told him to come, so he did. The Elders told him to follow, so he did. The Elders told him to stand and watch his final sunrise before their god comes and rewards them for keeping him alive for so long, so Tobirama is waiting.

He’s never truly been religious, and superstitions are only phenomena that cannot be explained easily, so all Tobirama really needs to do is escape his bindings, perhaps leave some blood, and never return.

It hurts, thinking that Anija and Touka are back in the compound, but from the feel of their chakra, they’re livid, yet sluggish. Drugged, most likely, to keep them from interfering. And that softens the blow, makes Tobirama think that they genuinely want him enough to care what happens to him, and so he apologizes to them mentally for having to disappear.

Escaping will be an issue, however, because everything’s pretty much tied to the post in a way he can’t wiggle out from, and he’s exhausted from his latest mission, so he doesn’t have any chakra to spare at the moment.

So instead he thunks his head back against the large pole behind him and watches the deep indigo sky lighten.

This isn’t how Tobirama expected his 16th birthday to go.


	141. Opportunity (Sacrifice)

Izuna hates patrol duty, but it was either this or the fire guard.

Uchiha were made to set things on fire, not put them out, so obviously Izuna chose patrol duty.

(It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Izuna knows NO jutsu able to combat fires, meaning he would have to fight any fires with a bucket and blanket like a civilian.)

It’s not even that Father disagreed with his statement about how the Inuzuka messenger should learn some house manners (honestly, the dog’s dirty feet was the _least _of their crimes). Oh no, Father had to punish him because the messenger heard him say those things.

(Okay, the entire compound heard him say those things, because Izuna maaay have screeched it as soon as they entered the main house in a fit of annoyance. May have.)

And so now he’s a few hours out from the compound, Hikaku on his—

“Hikaku?” Izuna stops on the next tree and looks towards where he thought Hikaku was following him on his right. He slows his breathing and activates his sharingan.

“Izuna-sama.”

“OH MY FUCK!” Izuna grips his chest and glares at his cousin. “I could have stabbed you, you know.”

Hikaku says nothing, being the stupid bastard who decided to call out to him from _below _him.

Izuna hops out of the tree, dusting his pants off as if he didn’t just scream in fright.

“There’s something interesting at the top of the cliff. Look.”

Izuna follows Hikaku’s gaze and sees the top of a post, but what catches his attention is—

“Is someone tied to that post?”

“Appears so, Izuna-sama.”

“In this kind of weather? Are they nuts?!”

Izuna’s already taking off before he even finishes, because freezing is the absolute _worst _way to go. And by the vultures that are circling, he doesn’t know if he wants to find a corpse or not, doesn’t know which option would be more merciful at this point.


	142. Intrigue (Sacrifice)

“What kind of fresh trap is this, Senju?”

“Izuna-sama—!”

Tobirama would wince at their volume, if he were able to. But his skin has long since gone numb, his muscles stopped their twitching to keep warm.

“What? It’s not like him to be so vulnerable! Something else is going on.”

“Antagonizing him won’t help.”

Tobirama feels like his fingers and toes are on fire.

A snort. “He can barely open his eyes right now! I’m just waiting for the trap I _know _this is to be sprung.”

Tobirama’s not sure why they’re talking, why they’re even here. He needs to speak, needs to—

Hands push his shoulders back down and he at least gets a hiss out through his teeth.

“See?” Tobirama really wishes this _was _a trap, if only so Izuna would _shut up_. Who knew his rival was so paranoid?

“All I see is a Blessed in need of help right now.”

Blessed?

“Fine.”

Then there’s silence.

No, wait, Tobirama doesn’t want the silence, he needs answers! He needs them to continue talking!

Since they’re clearly not going to let him move, he attempts to open his eyes. Two blurry forms greet his sub-par vision. His sensing tells him that the figure directly next to him isn’t Izuna. Which is good, maybe. He probably would have attempted to stab Izuna just on principle.

“B-B—” Tobirama curses the cold that has numbed his face. He needs to _talk_, dammit!

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe. You’ll get warmer here soon.”

Tobirama mentally snorts at the irony that he could be safer in Uchiha hands than he was tied to that post. Instead, he tries to kick his brain back into higher processes, and his chakra is still terribly depleted, but it could be enough . . .

Rhythmically, he starts flaring his chakra, attempting to aim it at Hikaku’s fingers that are covering his forehead. They fly off his face.

_Nooooo, put your hands back on my skin, Uchiha!_ Tobirama attempts to mentally convey this as his muscles decide that they’re warm enough to begin shivering.

“What, what’s wrong? I told you it was a trap!”

“Hush, Izuna-sama. He just pulsed some chakra onto my fingers and I wasn’t expecting it.”

“He did . . . what now?”

“Kindly put those away; I’m pretty sure he was trying to communicate through chakric code.”

Thank everything above that this man knows what he knows, Tobirama mentally cheers. Hopefully he also knows how to decipher the generations old code.

Then fingers are back on his forehead and he flares his chakra. It’s hard to get the right sequences, especially since the code isn’t useful for the sort of depth he needs, but at least he can communicate simpler terms.

It’s a tense few minutes where Tobirama fluctuates the pattern over and over and over again while there’s no discernible change in those fingers, no words spoken to acknowledge that his message is getting through. He’s just about to give up when finally those fingers shift and Tobirama just breathes, attempting to sort the remaining of his chakra.

“Leave now; ambush.”

That’s close enough for Tobirama.

“HA! See, I told you this was a trap!”

“There was more, but that pattern wasn’t part of our archives.”

Giving them the estimated time that a person would inevitably be coming to check on him by was a bit of a stretch, even in Tobirama’s watered down available vocabulary.

A huff. “What now?”

Tobirama would also like to know his fate, but if the heat he’s feeling on his side means there’s a fire, he should be alright if they simply left him untied.

“Why ask that stupid question, Izuna-sama?”

Tobirama feels the chill begin to seep back in and he struggles as best he can, not getting much ground asides from tiring himself out further.

“Forgive me, Tobirama-sama.”

No!

But those hands don’t go for the kill, don’t wrap around his neck as Tobirama thought they would. They instead pull him up, guide his body onto what must be Izuna’s shoulders, and Tobirama feels nearly sick at the change in his center of gravity.

“Alright, let’s get you somewhere warmer.”

And Tobirama has a sinking suspicion where they’re headed that’s ‘somewhere warmer’.


	143. Exhausted (Sacrifice)

Tobirama wakes up burning.

Hissing in discomfort, he claws at the blankets he must be _buried _under before his hands are free and—

“Ow! Fucking Senju! Quit it!”

His hand gets caught by another and is forced back to the bed. It’s only then that his mind races, and the day’s events finally come back to him.

“Uchiha.”

And not just any Uchiha, either—Izuna. Right next to the futon they’ve placed him on.

“Since you’re warm enough to fucking flail your arms around, you’re warm enough to talk. So talk.”

Tobirama opens his eyes, for all the good it does him, just to glare at his ‘rescuer’.

Izuna snorts. “Glare all you like; I’m not going to drag you back out there and tie you back on that post, so don’t even think it.”

“It’s not like I chose to be sacrificed!” Tobirama snaps his mouth shut. He must really be out of it, to be rising to the bait Izuna’s tossing at him.

“Sacrificed? The hell, Senju!”

Tobirama says nothing, confused as he listens to Izuna huff and puff, his chakra crackling in time with his noisy, wordless anger. This would be the perfect time to escape, he thinks as Izuna truly seems to be having some sort of fit.

Ah, but where would he go?

His maudlin thoughts are cut short when Izuna talking again.

“Your religion must really suck, if it calls for human fucking sacrifices!”

“I agree.” Because yes, Tobirama does agree, but also it would do him absolutely no good to fight with the person apparently in charge of caring for him.

“Especially not a Blessed”—Izuna continues on before his agreement registers—“Good, because you’re never going back to that shitty clan again.”

The reminder stings, but Tobirama latches onto the thread that he’s been curious about. “Blessed?”

Izuna’s chakra mellows out, and then there’s two hands cupping his face, to which Tobirama instinctively grasps his wrists, making the hold even more awkward and personal.

Thumbs brush underneath his eyes and Izuna’s whisper is full of awe, a tone Tobirama’s never heard come from his rival before.

_“And those Blessed with the red eyes of Amaterasu, shall see more than simply the world around them.”_

There’s a pause, because—

“I’m an albino.”

Izuna snorts, and shoves himself up. “It doesn’t matter _how _a Blessed has their eyes, just that they have them.”

“Oddly religious, coming from you.”

“Coming from me?”

Tobirama weighs his options; continuing to talk with Izuna may make this whole ordeal more painful, should he answer wrong or poke too far. But his curiosity simply won’t allow him to stay silent.

“You don’t seem the type to get caught up in those sorts of teachings.”

“It’s hard not to, when you pray for something and wind up face-to-face with a Blessed because of it.”

What?

Tobirama opens his mouth to question, but gags instead as a spoon is shoved into his mouth.

“You must be hungry! Chakra exhaustion is really terrible and food is absolutely necessary to get better! So fucking eat your food and don’t talk with your mouth full!”

Even if Tobirama thought that he could feed himself while this bone-deep exhausted, he’d rather use his energy and the spoon to stab Izuna, instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna: *says too much*  
Tobirama: *opens mouth to question*  
Izuna: *PANICS AND SHOVES THE SPOON IN MOUTH*
> 
> how to shut someone up who's on bed rest 101 by Uchiha Izuna


	144. Curiosity (Sacrifice)

The next time Tobirama wakes up, he’s feeling much, much better, but still groans. Foolishly, he opens his eyes without scanning his surroundings as he usually does.

“Ah, Tobirama-sama, you’re awake.”

Immediately Tobirama is on guard, sitting up and watching the Uchiha who feels like the one who helped him off the post with Izuna.

“Good morning”—A sentiment that Tobirama does _not _share, but the other Uchiha doesn’t give him time to so much as glare before he’s setting a tray next to the futon—“I would like to apologize for Izuna-sama; he’s never been very good at being gentle when he panics.”

He swallows, still able to feel a phantom spoon in his throat.

“You don’t say.” Tobirama dryly stares at the Uchiha.

Who chuckles and shakes his head.

“My cousin is a special sort of idiot, but he’s still soft inside. Ah! But where are my manners, I’m Hikaku. If you need anything, I’ll be the one retrieving it, whether you ask myself personally or Izuna-sama.”

Tobirama blinks at the introduction, but understands little of this whole situation and defaults to reluctantly polite. He _was _saved from freezing to death, after all.

“Thank you.”

Hikaku tilts his head and then goes about uncovering the food—which Tobirama will also, reluctantly, admit looks decent and are foods that won’t upset his stomach.

“Are you strong enough to eat on your own?”

Tobirama flexes his fingers and then nods. “I should be fine.”

“Very well, I’ll be back in to check on you in a bit, then.”

“Wait.”

Hikaku pauses and turns around. “Yes, anything else you need?”

Tobirama licks his lips nervously before looking away from Hikaku. “If you can, could you stay? I would like to ask you some questions since I honestly have no idea what’s going on.”

Hikaku sits himself down sieza next to the futon easily enough, and Tobirama wonders, not for the first time, if he’s been dropped into an alternate reality.

“Ask away.”


	145. Silver Lining (Sacrifice)

Tobirama barely opens his mouth to ask his first question before the door of the room flies open, startling him.

“Don’t let him feed you lies! It was an accident that I dropped that koi into the teapot!”

Izuna huffs in the doorway, staring daggers at Hikaku.

Hikaku blinks once, and then stands up and calmly passes by Izuna.

“Nice meeting you, Tobirama-sama.”

“Stop talking to him!”

“Likewise, Hikaku-san.”

A polite nod, and then Hikaku’s gone, and Izuna’s glare turns to him.

“If you want to ask questions, ask _me _because you’re my Blessed and I’m the one taking care of you!”

“And you shoved a spoon down my throat yesterday.”

Tobirama will quietly admit to himself that seeing his rival huff and stomp will always be amusing, and it’s even more so now because of the flush on his face.

“Okay, _listen_—”

Tobirama promptly tunes Izuna out, primarily so he can observe Izuna closer, pick up on the way that he carefully handles the food, the way he straightens out the blanket and smooths out the wrinkles, the way he seems to just . . . keep talking.

“—and Aunt Kiyoko says it’s totally fine for that to happen, and she would know best, because she has plenty of experience—”

“As much as I’m sure you’d love to talk my ear off, don’t.”

Izuna’s jaw snaps shut.

Then he begins picking at the edge of the blanket, rolling it up a little bit before smoothing out creases that aren’t even there. Tobirama might even say Izuna looks nervous.

Which makes him nervous.

“I . . . you’ll stay, right?” It’s spoken so softly, Tobirama doesn’t know what to do with the sudden confession, but Izuna keeps talking, keeps his head down, looking at his fingers.

“Right before we met on the river, I had prayed for weeks to Amaterasu for someone all for myself, because Aniki stopped spending time with me as frequently as he used to”—Tobirama can’t help but feel his own heart clench, because he knows entirely how getting left behind by an older brother feels—“And that day, that morning, was the last time I was planning on praying. But then we crossed blades, and then we always met on the battlefields, and that was . . . ”

Tobirama watches as Izuna’s fingers shake, as he sniffles and then suddenly Tobirama’s meeting Izuna’s dark gaze, a determination filling them.

“So you’ll stay, right?”

His own clan doesn’t want him, but staying with the Uchiha almost seems worse than if he simply wandered around.

But.

But if he were with the Uchiha, then perhaps Anija’s peace would come, perhaps he could work to help the Uchiha see that peace is possible, is preferable.

Very slowly, Tobirama extends his hand and places it over Izuna’s twitching fingers.

“I will stay.”

And then Izuna gives him the most brilliant smile he’s ever seen, and Tobirama allows a faint one of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: well, let’s get breakfast in you~  
Tobirama: attempt to feed me again and I will leave  
Izuna: *puts down spoon* awww
> 
> OMAKE  
Tobirama: I’d like to take a bath  
Izuna: sure! here, I’ll help!  
Tobirama: *dumps water on him* no thank you
> 
> OMAKE  
Izuna: *sigh* why doesn’t Tobirama want me yet?  
Madara: probably because you keep treating him like he can’t do anything  
Izuna: NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, ANIKI >:O


	146. The Sun as Their Witness

“You do what now?”

“Fire dance.”

Izuna attempts to contain his joy at Tobirama’s pinched expression. By the way Tobirama starts frowning, he must not be doing a very good job.

“And you—”

“You’ll just have to come and see~” Izuna sing-songs, shamelessly using his boyfriend’s curiosity against him.

He even bats his eyelashes at Tobirama with a cheeky grin, because he knows who’s going to be doing the main fire dance, and he wants his boyfriend to be in even more awe over him!

“On the summer solstice?”

Izuna nods. “In four days; though the festivities start tomorrow.”

Every Uchiha gets restless during the days and even weeks leading up to the solstice. That’s the reason why there’s so many winter and early spring births in the clan. Perhaps that will change with the village and peace.

Tobirama hums and pulls Izuna into his chest. Izuna, predictably, melts into that strong wall of muscle and his hands immediately start wandering.

Izuna feels the chuckle and he pouts.

It’s not his fault! The longer daylight hours and hotter temperatures affect him, too!

“Come on, let’s get you taken care of.”

“WAIT! Don’t use that damn jutsu of yours! It makes me sick.”

Tobirama pauses, his hands already halfway to forming the signs to that _stupid jutsu_—

And then Izuna’s being picked up, carried off the slightly worn path deeper into the trees, out of sight.


	147. Unwanted Arrangement (Arrangement)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, kitsunesongs!!

“How truthful do you think this information is?”

“Aniki, I don’t care if the gardener’s pigeon said—well, okay, maybe not if it’s Chiyoko’s summons—but if MY rival is getting shipped off to get married to some, some, SOME DUMB WOLF—”

“Izuna, seriously.” Madara sighs.

Chichi-ue looks too pensive, but ultimately nods at him. “Three days, max.”

Izuna needs no more talk, and starts sprinting towards the door.

“Oh! And one more thing”—Izuna’s halfway down the hall, turning around the corner—“DON’T BURN DOWN ANOTHER VILLAGE, IZUNA. YOU HEAR ME?!”

Izuna _does _hear him, but really, there’s tactical retreat and then there’s _covering fire_—both are extremely important to have.

No one can chase you if they’re too busy putting out fires, after all.


	148. Plans (Arrangement)

Tobirama very carefully does not sulk as he continues on towards the neutral location he’ll be meeting his new . . . Hatake spouse. From there he’ll be taken to wherever the Hatake have made camp until their ceremony will take place.

It’s not that he _doesn’t _want a spouse it’s just that . . . he doesn’t want a spouse.

He couldn’t just _say _that to Father, though!

It’s his duty as second-born to ensure that he’s available for any use to better the clan, including fulfilling arranged marriages to keep alliances with strong allies.

What isn’t his duty is to accept the choice lying down.

A quiet adventure into the clan archive revealed the contract that dated back to before he was born. It seems like his mother married in but also future-proofed the alliance for her birth clan by promising one of her own children be wed back into the Hatake.

Smart.

Writing a clause that states if the procession gets disrupted and the betrothed Hatake can’t secure their spouse within a three day period then the marriage is annulled without penalty?

Ingenious.

Tobirama tracks his disruption by the burning chakra that’s badly suppressed heading right towards him.

‘Accidentally’ making his campfire a bit too close to go fully ignored by a wandering Uchiha patrol and grumbling a bit too loudly about his arranged marriage and how he hoped he didn’t encounter trouble on his way seems to have paid off.


	149. Disruption (Arrangement)

“Finally.”

Izuna stops, hiding out in the bushes wondering what his rival’s been waiting for. There isn’t anything immediately noticeable and that makes him paranoid. 

“You can come out now, Izuna.”

Now he’s _really_ paranoid. 

His sharingan flicks on and he thumbs the heavy rope he’s looped around one arm—bridal rope. Because if anyone’s going to marry HIS rival, it’s going to be HIM!

Yeah, sure, there hasn’t been a successful bridenapping in three generations—not since his great-grandaunt roped her husband—but that doesn’t mean Izuna can’t do it! He’ll prove them all wrong by catching the fastest, most brilliant, prettiest deadly—

He’s moving solely on instinct when Tobirama appears on the same branch as him.

However, instead of just throwing the bright red rope, he’s _still holding it_ as he lunges towards his rival.

Izuna doesn’t even get to rejoice in the surprised wide-eyed look Tobirama gets on his face before Izuna knocks into him and they’re both falling off the branch.


	150. Just One Small Problem (Arrangement)

“Can’t you just burn the rope off?”

“Burn the ro—no! Of _course not_. It’s _marriage rope_.”

“Marriage rope?”

“_Yes_, marriage rope—you know, like, the rope you use to marry someone?”

“Your explanation skills astound me.”

“Why, thank you!” Izuna flashes Tobirama his winning smile.

Izuna has an up-front seat watching Tobirama close his eyes and sigh heavily. It has absolutely everything to do with the fact that, when they fell, the rope decided to tie them together—tightly—and Izuna wound up on top of Tobirama. Just like Izuna’s backup-backup-backup plan! 

Then those pretty red eyes stare up past him, towards the sky. 

“Three days.”

“What?”

“We can be married for three days, I suppose.”

Izuna pouts, because—“What if I want MORE than three days?”

There’s silence, and Izuna watches as Tobirama’s sharp red eyes flick around his face, lingering on his lips a moment too long before flickering up to his nose.

“I suppose we can revisit this discussion in three days if you manage to keep my _Hatake_ betrothed from finding us.”

Izuna pales; he had, maybe, quite possibly, forgotten exactly _who_ Tobirama was on the way to meet.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, the Uchiha's marriage rope is fire-proof in this verse.
> 
> Izuna: *accidentally throws the rope wrong*  
Rope: *tangles him and Tobirama up*  
Izuna: *surprised pikachu face*


	151. Quite Flexible (Arrangement)

“How did this happen?” Izuna stares down at his hands in a state of shock.

“I’m rather flexible.”

“How did I never know you could _do_ that?” Izuna slowly raises his head to stare at Tobirama’s, admittedly rather unimpressed, face.

“I’ve never displayed those skills in front of you before today, nor did I ever give any indication I had them.”

“How did this happen?!” Izuna repeats again, bringing his newly freed hands up to smoosh his own cheeks as he continues staring, wide-eyed, at Tobirama.

“I’m not repeating myself, Uchiha”—Tobirama starts coiling the bridal rope—“We should get a move on and get some distance.”

“Aaaaaaah!” Izuna slaps his cheeks and squishes his face even more.


	152. Determined (Arrangement)

“So . . . how long have you been able to do that, exactly?” Izuna’s calmed down some, not a lot, but enough. Walking helps.

“Do what?”

“The thing with the thing and your _foot_”—Izuna strangles the whine that wants to come out at just _remembering_—“How could you bend your foot to the middle of your back like that?!”

Tobirama raises an eyebrow at him. “I stretch. Multiple times daily.”

Izuna flusters more, because he’s imagining exactly _how_ Tobirama stretches in order to get that level of flexibility. His face was bright pink when Tobirama had rolled them over, and Izuna could _feel_ Tobirama’s abdominals work as he arched his back (and yes, that means he arched himself into Izuna—he’s never going to forget that part!) and his foot caught the rope, loosening it enough so that they could begin to wriggle themselves out.

Tobirama’s lips twitch, and Izuna can’t tell if that means he’s laughing at him or—nope. _Definitely_ laughing at him. Izuna sends a glare in Tobirama’s direction as he crosses his arms.

Tobirama simply raises an eyebrow.

“Let’s go.” Izuna frowns and brushes by Tobirama, leading the way. These next three days Izuna will _make_ Tobirama see what a good husband he can be so he’ll never want to leave him!


	153. Content (Arrangement)

“Sooooo . . . ”

“So?”

“It’s been three days.”

“So it has.”

Izuna huffs and pushes Tobirama back into the river from where they’re seated on the bank of it. Tobirama pops back up easily, because _he_ knows how to swim. “Jerk. You know what, I don’t even know why I married you.”

Tobirama pulls himself out of the water and Izuna watches the water caress that pale skin he spent all last night worshipping. After a few moments of staring, he finally makes his way back to looking at Tobirama’s face, eyebrow raised with a small smile. 

“I can appreciate your looks and NOT want to marry you!” Izuna sniffs and turns his head, immediately cracking his eyes open to peek at Tobirama.

“Can you?”

“Yes!”

“Liar.”

Izuna harrumphs, but his smile gives away his amusement. After the initial _walking on eggshells_ bit, then the _who put this snake in the bedroll_ bit . . . and the _setting fire to everything isn’t a valid strategy_ fight, Izuna realized that it’s actually rather fun to tease his rival (and husband). Of course, _Tobirama_ has figured that same thing out, and so now they trade insults and barbs—along with a few spars that wound up putting them both flat on their asses because they both fought viciously.

“It’s been three days.” Izuna repeats, because this is _important_ and he would rather not have to face his husband on the other side of the battlefield.

“My father might not take too kindly to me getting kidnapped and my betrothal interrupted.”

Izuna winces, because Senju Butsuma is one _scary_ person.

“Nor will he enjoy news that I bear a new clan name now.” Tobirama continues, because clearly doom and gloom takes three days to catch up and ruin the honeymoon phase.

This is it. Izuna’s going to have one marriage already under his belt and it only lasted three days. No one’s going to want a separated man! Not one who’s already given his chastity away, not one who still loves another—

“But I believe with Anija’s help I can convince him to keep the marriage.”

Izuna’s brain stutters. “Huh?”

“You’re lucky that I actually care about you.” Tobirama leans over and places a gentle kiss on his cheek. “And what about your father?”

“He—” Izuna stops, because he hadn’t actually . . . told his own father that he was planning on roping Tobirama. “It’ll be fine.”

Tobirama shoots him a skeptical look, but says nothing.

It _will_ be fine. Right? Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: . . . and then I caught him :3  
Tajima: you . . . caught him? I didn’t think you actually _would_  
Madara: *poorly muffling his laughter*  
Izuna: >:C
> 
> OMAKE  
Tobirama: . . . and so I’m married to him  
Butsuma: so you . . . got married to avoid getting married?  
Tobirama: technically, I didn’t _plan_ to get married anytime soon, but it logically would be a better political move to form a tentative peace with our enemies, rather than strengthen an ally bond that’s already strong  
Hashirama: *happy sobbing* you DO care about peace  
Butsuma: . . . I need a drink


	154. Just Another Tuesday (Treeday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see you all in the comments! Happy New Year to everyone! I've been rather sick lately and simply resting, but I do appreciate all the love! Thank you so much!
> 
> This verse is a Tolkien AU :D
> 
> Thank you SammyLerma

"So just where _do_ you go every Tuesday?"

Tobirama doesn't roll his eyes at the dainty Human fire mage who's been a constant shadow since he came to Isengard in request for knowledge found inside Orthanc. Instead, he cuts his gaze to him with an amused smile tugging on his lips. 

"I suppose not telling you would only have you follow me more?"

He keeps walking towards his destination despite how his companion, Izuna, sputters and stops. 

"How—I mean—I'm _not_ stalking you!" Izuna catches up to him easily.

"Ah, of course not; so I suppose it's Human custom to half-hide behind bookcases and doorways and observe someone nearly every minute of every hour?"—Tobirama ignores how Izuna starts sputtering again—"Although, I haven't truly seen anyone else behave that way."

Being careful to stay in the shadow of Orthanc to keep the midday sun off his fair skin as much as possible, he slows his steps as they near the end of the marked path. His long hair is thankfully plaited, as the wind starts picking up.

"Izuna, I'm going into Fangorn Forest."

That effectively shuts Izuna up . . . for a total of three seconds.

"What!? You can't be serious! You can't go in there alone!"

"I can and I will. The Galadhrim have a much _better_ relationship with the Forest than anything Mankind has."

Tobirama frowns at Izuna's nervous sparks coming off his twitching fingers. There's a _reason_ the Ents don't like fire mages. 

"We can stand here and argue, but the fact remains that if I don't pluck my brother from the clutches of the Ents soon, they might actually have enough time to demand he check in with them more frequently."

"Wait, what?"

Tobirama makes a face and _refuses_ to sigh in exasperation. "The Ents are, well, rather protective of their own. And they see him as an Entling of sorts." 

"So—"

"So they insist on having regular check-ins with him, to make sure he's 'adequately nourished' for his 'roots and leaves' to grow." Tobirama snaps. "I'm at least thankful that once a week seems to be plenty for them."

"Don't Ents take, uh, _a long time_ to say nearly nothing?"

"Precisely why I must go _now_ to prevent my rock-brained brother from saying anything."

At least the journey into Fangorn Forest from Isengard is significantly shorter than from Lothlórien.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As SammyLerma said: Well technically for an ent, that’s checking in on a toddler every hour
> 
> OMAKE  
Ent #1: *Entish*  
Hashirama, an hour later: *gasps* the _nerve_  
Ent #2: *More Entish*  
Hashirama, an hour and a half later: *sobs* I CANNOT BELIEVE THE SQUIRRELS WOULD DO THAT TO ALL OF YOU


	155. Slow Panic (Treeday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the last chapter, because clearly this needed more ^u^
> 
> Thanks, drelfina~

“Tobi!” Hashirama says as he smiles down at his from his perch. “I didn’t think you’d bring any friends with you from Isengard!”

Tobirama blinks.

“Izuna.” Tobirama sighs as the Human walks out from behind a tree, who doesn’t even have the audacity to look guilty in any way. “I _told_ you to stay away.”

“Well, _excuse me_ for being worried!” Small sparks fly off the tips of Izuna’s fingers as his gaze flicks around to the various collection of trees gathered.

“Great, now they’re panicking.”

“_HOW_ ARE THEY PANICKING?! They’re _literally_ just standing there!!”

Tobirama glares at the little fire mage while listening in on the trees’ slow, but _sheer_ panic. 

“They’re calling you a ‘tiny fire weasel.’” Because if Izuna wants to be here, Tobirama’s going to translate the absolute _gems_ that the trees are giving him.

“Oh? I personally think they meant ‘tiny fire long squirrel.’” Hashirama cuts in while Izuna’s sputtering.

This might actually be _fun_.

“No, it’s most assuredly ‘tiny fire furry snake.’”

“WHY IS IT GETTING WORSE?!”

Tobirama’s lips twitch. “While we Elves taught the trees to speak, there isn’t a clear defined translation from Entish to the words of Man.”

The Ents, now that they’ve all agreed on what to CALL Izuna, are all patiently waiting their turn to tell the others about just how _much_ panic they should be in.

“Therefore I’m giving you rough translations here,” Tobirama continues with a shrug. “The willow is being especially colorful.”

“And that’s the reason why they’re getting more and more INSULTING?”

“Well, since you’re interested, there was one where they called you ‘skinny hairy fire tendril.’ Is that any better?”

It clearly is NOT any better. 

Hashirama looks like he’s a few seconds away from laughing.

“The word for hairy was specifically ‘root hairs’ not ‘trichomes,’ if that helps”—Tobirama’s voice waivers with suppressed laughter—“The oak called you a caterpillar . . . on . . . fire. Hm. The translation is very rough.”

“I DON’T HAVE TO STAND HERE AND GET INSULTED BY TREES.”

Now _Tobirama_ is insulted. These are no mere _trees_. They’re Ents: shepherds of the forest.

“It’s time to go.”

“No! I am insulted! I’LL SHOW THEM ‘FIRE CATERPILLARS!’”

Well, as much fun as it would be to see Izuna be squished—

“FIREBA—urk!”

Hashirama sends him a blinding smile, the fire mage dangling off one of his shoulders from where he threw him over.

“Lead the way, brother!”

Tobirama sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Hashirama, in Elvish: you never told me you were _seeing someone_  
Tobirama, also in Elvish: I’m not  
Hashirama, still in Elvish: and this _fire mage_ is just some random one that decided to follow you into _Fangorn Forest?_  
Izuna, muffled and STILL slung over Hashirama’s shoulder: can we please all speak a language everyone can understand?  
Tobirama: I never said he was _smart_  
Izuna: HEY  
Tobirama: oh, I thought you _wanted_ us to speak a language you understood  
Izuna: >:C


	156. Teasing

“Okay, look—”

“I'm blind.”

Izuna sputters for a moment. “_Listen_, just because YOU’VE had your entire life to get used to the idea that you're blind doesn't mean I have! I’ve had, what, an hour? If Nii-san was half as good at hiding shit as you are then I wouldn't have to spend so much time cleaning up all the political messes he makes!”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

“THAT WASN’T A COMPLIMENT.”

“Oh, I guess I can stay mad at you if that's what you want instead.” Tobirama sighs. “And here I thought I might have an opportunity to pull out some old clothes of mine . . .”

Old . . . clothes?

“Wait, you don't mean—”

“I certainly do. But alas, there’s no one to help me put them on correctly—”

“I take it back. I take it all back. Please, Tobira.”

“I'm not so sure you mean that.” There's a faint smirk on his beloved’s face and Izuna is totally down for this challenge.

Izuna leans forward, right into Tobirama’s space to whisper the words over those soft looking lips.

“Forgive me and I’ll make it worth your time~”

“Hmm, I suppose.”

Tobirama kisses him lightly and then swats him away and Izuna goes cheerfully. 

And now he's looking forward to later. It's not every night you get to relive your wedding night, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Izuna married Tobirama and _still_ didn't know he was blind :D


	157. Blind Leading the Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE BLIND
> 
> Thanks, Deeambles!

“Turn left.”

_Thud!_

“Your other left.”

“Fuck you, Senju!”

“You already have this morning.” Tobirama sighs.

“Yeah, well, I’ll have you know that I’m _excellent_ with—”

_Slap!_

“Oh fuck! Who’d I hit?”

“Kagami.”

Tobirama gestures for the boy to stay silent and picks him up when he walks close enough, automatically healing the faint red mark where Izuna’s flailing hand hit his cheek.

“Wait—really? Ah, shit, kid! Where are you? WHY AREN’T YOU SPEAKING?!”

“You should be careful where you step.”

Izuna freezes, and turns towards him. The gesture doesn’t go the full distance it needs to to look natural, so Izuna panics at the wall. 

“Why can’t you just TELL me where he is?! Is he at least okay? Oh man, Nii-san’s gonna KILL me if he’s hurt!”

“Then maybe you should prioritize _finding him_.”

Thankfully the sound of Izuna’s _sheer panic_—which sounds a lot like a dying wet cat—covers Kagami’s small giggle.

“DON’T WORRY KAGAMI, I’VE GOT YOU!”

_Thud!_

“Did . . . Izuna just dive head-first into the wall?”

Tobirama turns to ‘look’ at Madara standing there and he hums an affirmative.

“So his lessons are going well.” Madara makes no moves to pick his unconscious brother off the floor.

“About as well as one could expect them to.” Tobirama also makes no moves to pick his unconscious husband off the floor.

Madara grimaces. It’s still a sore spot, despite the surgery happening a month ago, given how the transplant was a success for Madara but not for Izuna.

Then Madara crosses his arms and huffs at him.

“Just remember, _you married that_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna: *_excellent_ with directions*  
Also Izuna: *slaps a kid and panics into a wall*
> 
> At least Tobirama's amused (and is taking advantage of every opportunity to fuck with Izuna)


	158. Seeing Eye

“I thought you’d appreciate my ocular humor.” Tobirama states after Izuna didn't laugh.

“It’s only funny when _you’re part of the group being made fun of_.”

Silence.

Izuna attempts not to fidget. It’s surprisingly easy given how he’s BLIND NOW and doesn’t have to look at those eerie red eyes any more.

And he’s actually kind of hurt; he thought _Tobirama_ of all people wouldn’t use the bandage around his eyes as an excuse to take a jab at him. He _knows_ how much weaker he is now that he doesn’t have his sharingan—his _mangekyou_—he doesn’t need to be reminded!

“Yes.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m blind. I’ve not seen anything my entire life that wasn’t through my sensing.”

Izuna blinked.

Well, it _felt_ like blinking, but he’s pretty sure his eyelids fluttered underneath the bandage. So that counts.

“Aw man,” Izuna groans as he realizes—“I _never_ would have been able to catch you in a genjutsu, huh?”

Tobirama snorts.

“How very Uchiha, thinking that genjutsu can only be cast visually.”

Izuna tilts his head, considering.

“Then—EEP!” Izuna yelps as the sound of thunder claps loudly and he falls over.

After a moment where Izuna feels his way back to standing on his feet, not at all ashamed of using Tobirama’s desk as a crutch, he takes a deep breath in.

“I thought it wasn’t supposed to rain for the next _week_.”

“It isn’t.”

Izuna pauses, coils up some of his chakra and pushes it outwards. The sound of rain and thunder abruptly cuts off.

“How—”

“I suppose I should at least teach you the basics, if you’re going to be of any use on missions and not a liability.”

Now it’s Izuna’s turn to snort. “I’m _blind_; I can’t exactly run any missions like this.”

There’s a distinctly condescending silence and Izuna huffs because _damn it_ he can HEAR the eyebrow raise.

“There’s a lot of training that you need to do.” Tobirama supplies COMPLETELY unhelpfully.

“Fine! _Fine_.” Izuna crosses his arms. “Hit me with your best shot.”

Izuna hits the ground with a thud and a groan the next moment, completely soaked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Izuna: I _meant_ during training!  
Tobirama: *hits Izuna with another water dragon* all day every day is training when you’re blind


	159. Help Appreciated (Choosing)

Tobirama hides a smile when Izuna announces his presence by yelping.

Izuna’s chakra feels very, very chaotic and Tobirama wonders, briefly, if he didn’t just make a very grave mistake.

“What are you doing?!”

“Help me with this?” Tobirama ignores Izuna’s question and sticks his back out further, highlighting the zipper he needs ‘help’ with.

The sound of the zipper and not another question is very telling.

The hands smoothing down the sides of the velvet dress are also very telling.

“Where’d you get this?”

Tobirama hums, shifting back on his heels so he’s pressed up against Izuna’s chest.

“I’ve run plenty of missions for the clan, up to and including infiltration ones.”

The hands stop petting his waist, and Tobirama mourns the loss until they start pulling at his hips and he goes with the motion, spinning around with ease and grace at Izuna’s urging.

“_Fuck_, okay, that answers THAT question.”

Tobirama tilts his head as Izuna starts mouthing along the line of his exposed neck.

“What question?”

“Just how _long_ you’ve been doing this. Your movements are too controlled for this to be anything NEW.”

Tobirama hums, and then, coyly, “So I look good then?”

Izuna makes an offended noise. “‘Good’ isn’t good enough to describe how you look right now!”

A breath of relief. Without Touka here to help him, as she was out on a mission herself, Tobirama was worried he would make a mistake. He nudges Izuna’s jaw and kisses him in thanks, pulling back when Izuna goes to deepen the kiss.

“I’ve got to go to my mark’s place.” Tobirama explains as he henges his hair darker and longer.

“What.”

“I’ll be back before dawn, you shouldn’t wait up.” Tobirama twists his hair up into a bun the exact way Touka taught him to and is out the door the next moment.

The door closes, but not before he hears his husband.

“_WHAT_.”


	160. Help Required (Choosing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, drelfina!

“You want me to what.”

Tobirama resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I explained it to you—”

“Yeah, yeah. But _me_?”

“Izuna, you’re not blind, and Touka laid that outfit out for me before she left on her mission last time.”

Silence.

“I’ll make sure to come back home in whatever you choose for me to wear.” Tobirama offers, because LAST time he came back in his spare set of shinobi blacks and Izuna pouted at him (because the idiot had _waited up for him_) and didn’t even cuddle up next to him until he fell asleep and did so subconsciously.

“Whatever I choose?”

“Anything.”

“Hmph. Fine. You’re going to be the best dressed at the party”—Tobirama hears Izuna start to dig through the clothes—“AND I expect to be doing this for you for all subsequent times! As your _husband_, clearly it should be me.”

Izuna mumbles more, and, at one point, makes a noise like he’s dying. But before Tobirama can even ask what’s wrong, Izuna’s shoving clothing at his chest.

Tobirama catches it easily, and grimaces. It’s the strappy one. Of _course_ it is. He doesn’t ask if he must, because he’s learned from Touka asking that is a surefire way to make the NEXT time even more unbearable, but instead, “You’ll need to help me with this one.”

“What?”

Tobirama huffs. “I _can’t see_ and this dress requires that ability to put it on. You’ll have to help me.”

“Ohhh _shit_ are you SURE there’s not time—”

“_Yes_ I’m sure there’s not time for a quick fuck before I need to leave. ESPECIALLY because you’ve chosen _this dress_ for me to wear!”

“But you’ll still be wearing it when you come back, right?”

Tobirama sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember Tobirama, _you married that_.


	161. Strategically Planned

“Aren’t _you_ just the cutest~?” Hashirama coos to the baby sitting on his desk.

Madara attempts not to grimace at the over-the-top, sickly sweet tone.

“Tell me again why you think it’s necessary to bring your spawn to work today?”

“Aw, Nii-san, she’s not just _his_ spawn! She’s Mito’s too!” Izuna cheerfully informs him from where he’s unhelpfully sitting on the edge of his desk, also carefully situated as far away from the little demon creature as possible.

Madara doesn’t even attempt to hide his disgust.

“Madara, you said you got into a really big argument over those new tax laws with Tobirama yesterday. This will help!” Hashirama sounds so sure, but Madara’s _really_ not sure how a BABY will solve anything.

The baby _shrieks_ and Madara’s sharingan flares on instinct at the grating noise, and so he sees with crystal clarity when Tobirama dashes into the room with much less ice than normal and without the stick up his ass. Sees the way Tobirama’s face looks much, much younger as he _haphazardly_ sets his paperwork down on Hashirama’s desk to _play with the baby_—

Sees Izuna’s bright red face where _he’s_ recording the scene with his sharingan as well. Sees the way Izuna shuffles his legs awkwardly and—

Madara helpfully pushes his little brother off his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE  
Madara: *cackles at Izuna’s misfortune*  
Tobirama: *doesn’t even look away from the baby* you’d better not have hurt the baby  
Madara: what baby  
Izuna: *sweats*


	162. It's the Thought that Counts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up; college/university AU

Tobirama stretches while he waits for Izuna to decide to show up. It’s not like he’s on a time limit, per se, and really the only person who’s going to hurt from being late is _Izuna_. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Izuna’s panting, and Tobirama waves him off.

“It’s fine—”

“No, it’s not.” Izuna takes a few more breaths before sitting down and rummaging through his bag. “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Mm, I know, but I heard from Madara that you’re always so tired during class, so I thought, since you’re helping me study for the test tomorrow, I’d get you _these_!”

With a flourish, Izuna pulls out _caffeine pills_.

Tobirama can’t help it, he laughs.

Ha laughs until he feels tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Izuna looks torn between terrified and indignant, so Tobirama attempts to pull himself together enough to at least _explain_.

“Did you ask Madara _why_ I’m always so tired during class?”

“No?”

“The reason I’m so tired, is that I _can’t sleep_.”

Izuna’s brow furrows for a moment before he winds up laughing.

“Ahh, I guess I’ll just give these to Nii-san, then.”

“A wise decision.” Tobirama agrees easily. Madara is always tired in class even though he _can_ sleep through the night. 

“And thank you, Izuna. I appreciate the thought.”

Izuna sputters for a moment, turning bright red, before clearing his throat. “No problem!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tobirama the insomniac


	163. Temporary Confinement

It’s only been an hour, but it’s been probably the most trying hour of Tobirama’s entire life. And Tobirama lives with Hashirama.

“So what does that leave us with?” Tobirama asks as he squints in Izuna’s general direction.

“Uh, about a finger’s length of string, three buttons, two adorable little dust bunnies, aaaand—oh! Wait a second! And THIS!”

Tobirama squints harder. But alas, the little green blob that Izuna just freed from one of his pockets is still unrecognizable—by _sight_, that is.

“Is that—”

“Yup! I knew this would come in handy!”

“Izuna.” Tobirama pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s the stupid air freshener that Anija wants to mass produce to smell like _pine trees_.”

“Like I said: handy.”

“Oh yes, not smelling bad is absolutely our primary concern in this situation—_why_ did you have that tucked away on your person?” Tobirama switches topics because really, if he didn’t he’d go _mad_ and without anything productive to work off his anger ON, Izuna would become a tragic loss. Probably exactly what their captors want, which simply grates on Tobirama’s nerves more.

The Izuna-blob does a little dance that Tobirama thinks is supposed to be a shrug.

“Gotta stay fresh.”

Tobirama groans and drops his head into his hands. As if being stuck in a very small room with no chakra and no immediate escape is bad enough, he’s got _Izuna_ here. 

“Izuna,” he starts, not even lifting his head as Izuna shuffles about the really too small cell, “I really ha—”

_CRACK_.

“—wouldn’t mind if you got us out of here.” Tobirama quickly amends as he stands up and heads over towards where Izuna is pulling his hand out of the wall.

“Do I get a kiss for a reward?”

Tobirama doesn’t need to see clearly to KNOW Izuna has his smug face on, so Tobirama settles for simply pushing him away before cracking his knuckles to finish breaking open the wall. “I’ll consider it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna: *does something intelligent, for once*  
Tobirama: well fuck me sideways  
Izuna: *immediately* is that an offer?
> 
> Is Izuna shinobi MacGyver? probably. but only when it suits him ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
